Monday, September 28, 2009

 

Dreams : Ideas Flowing Like...

I find myself sleeping in a very large bedroom. My bed, a large four-poster California King with a very cozy down comforter, looks tiny in this massive master bedroom. The master bedroom was very large and also had a beautiful wood ceiling. The walls are fine silk wallpaper and the floor is a beautiful bamboo hardwood finish. The bed, in the room, was on the right 1/3 of the room with the rest of the room furnished as a large sitting area.

As I lay there dreaming, I get the sensation of something stepping on my toes. It feels like the tiny feet of my bird Rico. Every Sunday morning, when he is let out of his cage, he flies upstairs and into my bedroom.

He jumps off my toes, walks up my leg, steps on my stomach and makes his way across my chest. This is his usual path on his way to see my face. Standing at the edge of the comforter, which I have tucked under my chin, he sits there looking at me. I am now awakened by the noise Rico makes as he repeatedly turns his head side to side to get a better look at me, with both of his eyes.

I open my eyes, and Rico is startled. He chirps and then flies off. As he flies off, there is a green, orange & brown trail behind him. At first, I thought -what the heck? - but it was green, orange & brown and its trailing as he flies circles around the room. "Hey! Wait a second, green, orange & brown?" I immediately sit up on the edge of the bed & look down at the floor where its dropping. It is tiny little lovebirds with green plumage & orange cheeks walking all over the floor. I mean tiny! They are only about a 1/2 tall and there are so many of them!

This is weird! Tiny little birds walking around with a few brown worms to boot. I am totally shocked by this and I charge out of the room to get the camera! "Nobody is going to believe this! I need some evidence." I charge down the stairs & oddly enough, my wife is sleeping on the mid-span on this beautiful grand staircase. At the time, I didn't think much of it and just kept going. But when I came charging back, she was gone.

The house was a very beautiful Spanish-style mansion - felt like one of the homes I've done. The living room where my camera was, had a 14' tall pecky cypress ceiling, marble floors and the walls were a fine Venetian plaster finish. The room was one of my designs and the ceiling was finely detailed with cross beams and very ornate trim.

When I came back to the bedroom, the raised-paneled mahogany door was closed and the lower left hand corner was spray-painted with an enamel paint. The fresh baby-poop colored paint is dripping down the wall and door and spilling onto the beautiful bamboo hardwood floor. I step over it anyway and enter the room. In entering the room, I find this room feeling weird now. "I would never design the bed right in front of the door?" I question, but soon forget this inquiry and remember what I was doing.

To my surprise, there are no little birds anymore. The only thing I see is a few brown worms coiled up like a spring. I bend down to take a macro shot of the tiny worms, when I notice the noise in the other end of the room. Instead of getting up, I look thru the space under the bed & notice lots of legs & activity in the other side of the room. I get up and there, where the sitting area used to be, now sits several drawing tables with people bustling around. It looks like a brainstorming meeting waiting on the chief art director.

So you know what comes next... my interpritation of the dream:
OK so birds flying are symbols of communication and ideas. Over on DreamMoods.com : To see a bird in your dream, suggests that a message is being conveyed to you. Birds in history are also messangers. The fact that they are circling me means, to me, that my ideas are flowing. Also the fact that the bird is pooping other birds means to me that ideas are really flowing and more communication is being generated all around.

I saw the rooms in very vivid detail so the reason I saw the living room & master bedroom this way is because this is what I do for a living. I design homes. Everything centered around this house - around my design. Then finally I discover (that in my own room) there are many people bustling around and are even having a 'brainstorming' session.

So to wrap all this together, Ideas (creating, designing) are flowing like crazy all around me. My designs are the center of where all this is happening and there are people waiting to brainstorm with me. To create new ideas and have them flow all around.

Funny enough - or maybe this is why I am interpreting the dream this way - is that I just resolved to take my design ideas and spread them a round. I just created new opportunities to share them with people around other countries and share my ideas for luxurious living. Creating spaces that inspire and surrounds the occupants with luxurious environments to fill their souls.

There was one part that seemed off. When I left the room, I returned to a spray-painted door (ruined beautiful mahogany door) dripping on the bamboo floor; the room layout was off; no birds in the room and only brown coiled worms.

So this seems to be a word of caution in the message.

To me this means to keep my eye on the ideas. Keep them flowing & don't get distracted by the 'brown worms.' Not worry or get too focused on proving ("evidence") of anything to anybody. Just do it as my heart tells me so and for the fulfillment of people's soul. Stepping up and being 'the art director' they are waiting for, will ultimately be the fullest expression of who I am and will fill my soul.

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Friday, August 01, 2008

 

Grandeur of our Universe

I just got a glimpse of the real grandeur of the universe and the immensity of God. How large & magnificent can the Creator be to have made the universe.

A few weeks back my son & I were walking around the neighborhood & my son saw a red ant hill. He runs over to it, takes a stick & goes to destroy the ant hill. I stop him and tell him to leave the ants alone. I remember imaging an ant looking up and being overwhelmed by the shear size of my son in relationship to theirs.

Earth & the SunSo today I got a feeling of what the ants might have visualized.

The perspective of our place on earth. I am one person in, a small town in the state of Florida, in the best country on earth. Now imagine the U.S.A. in relationship to the mass of the earth. Then the relationship of the earth to the sun (that's the earth on the lower right side), the third rock from the Sun. Then just picture our solar system compared to our galaxy and the size of our galaxy compared with the universe.

Yes, I know this is actually old news - and yes any grade school science student knows that. The science is elementary, so I won't go there - What I want to discuss is something bigger, more magnificent - so just hang on & ride it out with me...

Imagine the grandeur of a Creator that can conceive all of this!

Our Earth is really tiny compared to the sun. This is enough to leave me in awe! but I want you to know that our sun is only an ordinary star, classified as a dwarf star. There are more than 100 million such stars in our galaxy.

If our Sun is a dwarf then imagine the size of a Giant star! A typical one is about the size of the Earth's orbit around the Sun. Now picture a star even larger! so large that "Giant" is not enough to describe it. The scientists had to come up with a name like "SuperGiant."

Beatelgeuse vs Our SunA star that fits this description is Betelgeuse (More...)
So in comparison, imagine the size of a creator that can conceive Betelgeuse as only one in a million NO billions of stars.

That little white spec on the lower left side, under Antares, is our sun. WOW I feel so small!

That is nothing! Check out the next step and the greatness of our Creator.

Yes Betelgeuse is thousands of times larger then our sun. So large that our Sun is barely a spec next to Betelgeuse, but imagine even bigger stars!

How about a star so large that 'Super' is not enough to describe it. It is classified as a 'HyperGiant.'

VY Canis MajorisImagine a star that is 2100 times larger then our Sun. VY Canis Majoris (More...) is such a star.

This really leaves me in awe!

Our sun is but a pixel next to this giant. Can you imagine the vastness of the universe where this HyperGiant exists only as one piece of a giant constellation!?

Now imagine a creator that can conceive of all of this.

He is so grand that we as humans cannot even fathom this greatness. He is all, sees all and is omnipresent, even with us.

So grand that anything we conceive as a 'BIG' concern, issue or problem is minuscule compared to the greatness of God. By this I mean that anything and everything is do-able for God! Nothing is a 'big problem' for him and the vastness of His compassion can help us with our BIGGEST problem.

Think of this the next time that you are dealing with the 'problems' of life:
"Don't tell God how big your problems are...tell your problems how big God is."

Give them all to God and surrender to His greatness. I ask you to accept His generosity, compassion and His LOVE. His love is bigger then anything we can ever imagine!



Here is the whole thing for a complete perspective.

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Wednesday, December 12, 2007

 

Farther then the Sun

A hauntingly beautiful song by Caroline Lavelle! As I listen to this song I am drawn to a moment of pure clarity. The music, the words, the melancholic melody puts me in a dream state and I just melt away into the words. I am pulled in & even to the point of being absorbed by the words. I feel her emotion and even feel the anger that gave life to her words.


The sea it freezes over to trap the light
And I'm in love with being in love
and you were never quite the one.
in Gerda's eyes, fragments of what you've become
and all the moths that fly at night
believe electric light is bright
you are not worthy."



I love to dig into a song's lyrics to find its meaning. I love to know what story inspired the creation of the song. So needless to say "in Gerda's eyes, fragments of what you've become" really caught my attention.

This is a reference to Hans Christian Andersen's story "The Snow Queen." In the story Gerda is a little girl that goes to the end's of the world to recapture Kay's love. Kay was enchanted by a witch's spell. (Read more about the spell) Fragment of what Kay has become under the spell - in love with the Snow Queen and no memory of Gerta. He is blinded to the world around him and sees nothing. His heart is frozen over, does not feel Gerda's love & feels nothing for no one. Gerda gives up everything in her life to search for and save Kay. Her "warm tears" can cause roses to grow from soil that was once frozen over, but cannot find Kay to unfreeze him.

Finally when she does find him and is able to warm his heart and break the spell, they return home to find that the years have past them by and she has lost much more then she thought. In recapturing Kay and his love, she has lost it all!

"you are not worthy, you are not worthy"

So in the song, the writer sees herself as Gerda - in love with the idea of Love and has given everything up for this ideal. Her realization that giving up everything, even her 'self' for him - is what she is questioning. Now in her mind is he "worthy" of her love? The story leaves you wondering - what the future holds for them, we do not know. Is he ever going to be capable of loving her as profoundly as she does him?

Her pain & disappointment is strong & I'm feeling it all! This struck a chord with me. I felt as if she was speaking to me. This seems to be a re-occurring theme for me. It is what the old man in my "Bella Mercedes" story and in my "Foolish Old Man" story are doing. Am I too wrapped up in what I've lost, that I let the world just pass me by?

I am so wrapped up in my business. Paying bills, making my business grow, making my life work; grieving my lost ones, that I do not see Mercy's moments of hope (tears). Am I too frozen over for her warm tears - capable of thawing roses frozen over by a harsh winter - it may not be capable of reaching me. How am I going to be worthy??

This song is haunting, spellbinding and beautiful - just beautiful in it's message!

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Thursday, October 19, 2006

 

Dock of the Bay


Dock of the Bay
Originally uploaded by svg_photo.
Ran across this beautiful picture while browsing in Flickr.com.

It is a very crisp picture that puts me right there over looking out to the bay. I am feeling the cold weather & can feel my breath in the cold crisp air.

Sitting here feeling the breeze coming in from the water & the chill that the wet air brings with it, I find myself drifting away.

Thanks for the beautiful photo.

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Monday, June 24, 2002

 

Bella Mercedes

I start this dream as a young boy in love with this beautiful black haired, Latin girl. She is wearing a beautiful, flowing dress, indicative of her free spirit soul. We must be 10-12 years old. I am wearing black pants bunched up around the shins (puffy-like) & a striped shirt with suspenders. I feel a hat on my head, kind of leaning forward, towards the right & a belt surrounding my waist. She is telling me that she can no longer see me for she is moving away.

Her parents are separating us & there is nothing that I can say or do about it. I go to her house to say goodbye & her mom turns me away. The morning she is due to leave town, I go to her house. Her dad turned me away with such anger! What did I do?? I am forced to see her afar. I stand at the foot of the slope looking up that tall weathered stone wall. We used to climb and play on that wall as naive children. Life was full of joy & peace back then. The same wall that was the center of our joy together now drips with moss and is water stained - leaving long, sad track, like the tears running down my face.

Towards the right I see her standing there in front of her house. She sees me - waves to me and then is slapped, so as to stop her from waving to me. That moment my life is shattered as her mother drags her away and loads her in the back of a big black shiny sedan. I feel that the times are 1930's & I see everything in black & white. I see myself, and all this, as a spectator in a movie theater now. The camera pulls the scene back. It zooms out behind me and shows me in the foreground looking up the slope towards her. As I walk up the street past our slope, the camera follows me to the left, the car she is in, drives off to the right and away she goes out of sight, out of the scene - and - out of my life.

As I walk up the hill I start crying and getting older. Half way up the hill I am a young man, about 18 now. I focus on the rough, broken stone wall of the building to my right, that accompanies me on my journey up the hill. My life progresses and I continue on the same path. When I reach the cobblestone intersection at the top of the hill, I turn right. I now feel as if I am about 25-28 years old. Time has past so quickly & what have I accomplished? My friends come running towards me from the left and spin me around towards the right. They spin me as if to lift my spirits and tell me to get over her. "How can I, she still fills my heart" I said. They tell me that it's hopeless and that she no longer lives in this village. As we spin more I hear a faint voice call out my name & shout out "she is closer than you think." I begin to wonder where can she be. As I spin to the right the camera zooms back and then freezes in place. We spin out of the picture towards the right.

The camera still in its frozen state starts slowly to zoom in to the beauty shop across the street. The shot flies in thru the window and the darkness of black & white turns to a vivid/vibrant rainbow of colors; across the person sitting in the front chair; Over the beautician, who is taking care of this beautiful young girl in the next chair. The camera stops behind this girl's head & focuses on the mirror in front of her. First the image is blurry, and it's difficult to make out a face - but then the camera starts to focus on the reflection in the mirror and - it's her! Bella Mercedes! with her fine curls & her manicured hands! She is so close... yet so - so far from me, from my heart, from my soul.

We seem to continue living a life of missed opportunities. Getting older & always swirling away from one another. Always like the shape of a ying-yang. Me going & her coming. The two never meeting, but like the ying-yang, swirling together to be what we have become.

The next scene finds me a bitter old man. Walking back on the same street. Walking to the left of the scene, all alone with shabby torn, worn-out clothes. I walk with a cane holding up my very existence. I am slumped over and feel weak as if life had beaten me to my last glimmer of hope. Again life presents an opportunity & I do not see the forest for the trees. Overwhelmed in self-pity and sorrow, I miss her coming by in her glowing horse-driven carriage going on with her life. She rides off to the right as I walk, drained and overwhelmed with self-doubt, off the scene to the left. As her carriage, and my life, passes me by I hear a siren song softly playing in the background. It is the song of Bella Mercedes & it talks of joyful days long gone, hoping for yesterday to return - while letting tomorrow slip thru my fingers. It is the song of my sorrows for the Bella Mercedes of my youth.



Each and every time that a chance encounter was lost I would hear this beautiful song in the background. The song is in Spanish & it's about Mercedes the black-haired girl of my past (but also the name of my wife - Mercy). I do not remember her face, but get a feeling that it is Mercy. Lamenting how I have lost her, the song offers hope that we will one day see each other again. The odd thing about this dream is that even thought I woke up several times during the night, the dream had its continuation. Almost as if the pause button was pressed every time I woke up & the play button was pressed when I fell asleep.

Strangely enough it played out like a movie or should I say a lucid dream where I am aware that I am dreaming and can put on hold whenever I feel a need to.

It is strange! In my waking life I do not feel that I am lamenting something lost. But in this dream everything is full of sorrow and self-lamenting. In this dream life, I seem to have let life go by. I see all the different stages of my life wasted in self-pity and full of lost opportunities.

But the most informative part is the 'story playing out like a movie'. Whenever I could not handle my sorrow the action became a scene in a movie. I walked away from it.

Carpe Diam my friends!


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