vivid dreams that intrigue - or - just torment.
Written thoughts that open doors & open mind allowing us to see the truth hiding in the shadows.
"A dream which is not interpreted is like a letter which is not read." -- The Talmud
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Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Foolish Old Man - The Sweet Scent of Spring...
The flowers in the lobby look a little sad today. They are drooping and falling onto the table. But the scent hits me as soon as I entered the seventh floor lobby.
The sweet-smelling purple flowers fill the room with life, if only for a moment.
Stepping off the elevator and into the lobby, the only person I see is Kirk. With his back to the elevator, he seems to sense that it is me...
"those are Violets you smell..." he said "I ought to know! I've trimmed them this morning as I have done for forty-seven seasons!" he continued as-matter-of-factly.
"Hi Kirk!" I squeezed in, but he just continued...
"Forty-seven springs of bloom did I tender!" He pauses as if all of a sudden lost in his own thoughts.
"Even in Nam I grew them! I picked them every morning and placed them on the net of my helmet."
Wait a second... He's not talking to me! he's just recounting his memories. Reliving the moments that the scent of the violets brings.
"Nope! Nam couldn't kill that..." Now Kirk seems to pause for a second.
That moment lasted for a few minutes and then all of a sudden a happy moment seems to slip in.
"We even had Violets at my oldest's wedding! Every Spring my daughters used to wake up to the sweet scent of violets. I don't know why, but slowly the rough years and months seem to make the sweet scent just fade away. Violets seemed to be around less and less till one day..."
Kirk stopped!
"...till one day what, Kirk? what happened?" I implored to know.
"One day - Betty died."
Kirk stopped all together. The trip down memory lane ended and he just slumped forward in his chair. Kirk reverted back to being a resident at the nursing home and the only thing running now is the drool down his cheek.
I think we (USA) have really, really lost our minds! OK, I can buy the bombing of Afghanistan - those lousy Taliban...
OK, Iraq... Remember Iraq, they lied told us that Saddam had Weapons of Mass Destruction and we all bought it! Shame on me! In the last few weeks, they are intent to bomb Iran - all to take advantage of it's natural resources (children can you say... o-i-l).
But now we are gonna bomb the moon for it's water. I distrust the intent of this mission. See the government has set a bad precedent & I just can't take their word for it anymore. In the past, they've sold us a down-right lie 'valid' reason when they really had ulterior motives. What they really sold us was flagrantly not true! All to get those countries' oil.
Now back to the moon - they tell us that they found water on the moon & this is the excuse reason why we are gonna create an explosion the size of a large city - so they can capture the water droplets in the debris. The plume the explosion will create is soooo large that we will be able to see it from the earth. Is that really necessary????
Does this sound a bit extreme to you as well????
I have an extract from the article that explains the project (I found it on counterpunch.org )
And now, once again, there are plans to bomb the Moon. This time the unilateral strike is aimed at the Moon’s South Pole and the payload will be delivered by the LCROSS (Lunar CRater Observation and Sensing Satellite) spacecraft; the excuse given is that this is an effort to find water deep under lunar surface. The craft was launched in late June and is currently orbiting the Earth until it finds its target; if all goes according to plan, the M-Day bombing will be October 8, 2009.
The plan is this: the LCROSS first shoots off its 2,300-pound spent booster-rocket at the lunar target zone. Four minutes later, in a scheme apparently inspired by fanatical terrorist airline hijackers, the rest of the robotic LCROSS craft slams into the same area. Like crazed kamikaze paparazzi, the craft will snap photos and transmit data on the first strike back to NASA’s mad bombers before immolating itself in a second explosion. This violent hi-tech sci-fi spectacle will cost anywhere up to $600 million, a price tag that is an outrageous insult to the millions of working people unable to feed, house, or medically treat their families. (As Gil Scott-Heron lamented in 1974: “How come there ain’t no money here? Hmm! Whitey’s on the Moon…”)
Of course, there is much more behind this attack than casual scientific curiosity on whether or not there is water on the Moon. First of all, since the long-range accuracy of intercontinental ballistic missiles has never been proven to work, the LCROSS suicide mission serves as a live-fire test exercise for US war strategists with an interest in the precision of orbiting satellite weapons—in other words, the southern hemisphere of the Moon will be turned into a firing range, making this mission one giant leap for the global reach of space warfare. Secondly, LCROSS has been promoted as “the vanguard” for the US military-industrial-entertainment complex’s return to the Moon—according to NASA, finding water is a necessary first step for “building a long-term and sustainable human presence” there. Historically, the purpose of exploration has always been the exploitation of resources and the colonization of territory without regard for ecosystems or indigenous peoples, and clearly the Moon is the next territory coveted by imperialists.
So now we are gonna blow a hole on the moon & make it look even more like Swiss Cheese. I as much as the next guy love to see stuff blow up, but this project does not sit well.
So back to my theory... If this is just a cover story, then what would be a real reason to blow up the moon? DISCLAIMER: This is just my theory. I'm speculating & having fun making this up. Why? Because this NASA project is so OUT THERE, so OVERDONE, so OUTLANDISH, and 600 million dollars, all to prove there is water on the moon. HELLOOO-OOOOHH! And if you buy that, I have a beautiful bridge that I can sell you... I'm speculating & having a 'conspiracy-theori-itis' moment & I'm pissed that USA lies to us. I'm venting so don't make it mean ANYTHING...
Maybe they are blowing up something they don't want us to see...At first I was not going to offer this as an option, I laughed & thought it's so ridiculous. but a statement from Former United Nations Ambassador and Fox News analyst John Bolton, and several other scientists, made me thing twice. John Bolton stated: "What the sam hell is going on over on the side [of the moon] we can't see?" Bolton asked. "How do we know the Lunarians aren't amassing weapons of mass goddamn destruction using superior space technology purchased from an advanced race of mantis-like extra-terrestrials? The answer is, 'we don't.'"That statement sounds out there - Lunarians on the dark-side of the moon... From a prior official? Well he is not the only one that thinks so...
Maybe we are testing our own mega Weapon-of-Mass-Destruction that will orbit the earth & strike on any target we choose, without sending out one soldier, all from the safety of the president's desk & his little red button. The test site - for now - is on the moon. Very public, clearly announced and showing a missile orbiting the moon & striking a pre-determined spot. I'm having a Dr. Evil moment: "We won't push the red button on your ass, if you pay us one milllliiiioooonnnn dollars....."
Who knows the environmental implications that may have on the orbit of the moon or it's magnetic pull on the earth. So maybe, they want to fix a deteriorating orbit as suggested by Ask the Astronomer. Or maybe they need to correct a failing magnetic field thereby fixing the rising ocean currents in the process. Why? I don't know... but an option.
Maybe they are just so darn frustrated, because they have not found Bin Laden & those damn muslin-hate mongers to blow their ass, that they just have to pick on the next bigger thing to blow up - just to feel better about themselves.
Now theory #5 just to round things up. With a hint of sarcasm & lead by "Mr Show"...
"We have the technology, the time is now! America can and will blow up the moon now..."
This makes great TV people...
Don't you get it? America pride, know-how & tenacity."
What if, just a thought... What if nothing comes of it?
I mean, what if the hype and protest is just hype? It would definately be something that got us all worked up and then just let us down. This rollercoaster ride would have more an effect on us then the pull of the moon does.
As you can see, I can definitely imagine many scenarios, but really: Why would NASA do it?
Another type of reoccurring dream that I've had is the Mega Tidal Wave dream.
I find myself driving down an ocean front highway. The ocean to my left with a very wide beach.
It always took us about 5-10 minutes to walk from the road to the waterline.
Today though, the shoreline seems further out. The sky is gray and the wind is unusually blowing to the east. Almost as if the air and water are being sucked out to the ocean.
I continue driving for a while, when the direction of the air shifts and seems to be coming from the east again - but much stronger. I park the car and get out to check things out.
Way out there is a haze. It's like a cloud hovering over the waves, so low that I cannot see the horizon. That's when I realize that it is not a cloud! I could not see it for what it was because it is truly unbelievable. The haze is actually the crest of the wave, but more then 80'-100' high!!
I jump back into the car and drive off. I drive south looking for the next turn off. I fly thru that turn and finally am heading away from the wave. Driving as fast as I can, the wave continues gaining on me. I'm doing 100mph and that wave is catching up as if I was standing still.
The wave is on my tail & I can no longer see the top of the wave on my rearview mirrors. Water splashing around me and that wave is now right behind me.
I know! The dreams always end this way with the wave gaining on me but never encompassing me. Now to try and understand the dream.
According to the dream 'dictionaries' Tidal Waves have to do with emotions. With my ability OR inability to deal with them. It symbolizes emotions not expressed or "bottled up" but also the tidal wave symbolizes the "clearing away of old beliefs." To dream of being caught up in a tidal wave, signifies "the strength of your emotions."
The dream is of several types. It is a Recurring Dream and a Nightmare Type and is an expression of "Your perception of the world, health, natural disasters, criticism about politics, finances, crime in the streets and your inability to control such events may sometimes lead to nightmares."
Yes, I do have worries, preoccupations with the state of our economy and the concern of where our world is going to be in the next few years.
I also can't help but to think that the dream is also a Prophetic Type of dream.
Yesterday my wife's car was hit as it was parked next to my house. It just sat there innocently waiting for me to take it for a ride when a young girl sideswiped it and shoved it 5' onto the sidewalk.
Sure enough the car is totalled. Broken rear axle and the front transaxle is also damaged.
Needless to say, the day did not starting out well and it just went south from there.
Two of my work computers freak out and I spent 6 hrs trying to fix them. My office VOIP phone system stopped working - but no worry it will forward to my cell phone.
And today I showed a sign of weakness. I allowed myself to think "Well, it can't get any worse then this." No sooner that the words left my mouth and...
As soon as I said that my cell phone would not work. I leave for a client meeting in a state of disempowerment. What a way to start day two of breakdowns!! On my way, about 2 miles from my destination, my car's air suspension system freaks out! Fu€k!!
"EAS Failure - Warning Do Not Drive Over 35MPH!!" The dashboard kept warning me.
I was in Ft. Lauderdale (more then 40 miles from home) and I find myself like a 'vato' driving my 'low rider machine' and hip-hopping all the way home. I was determined not to let this setback stop me! No way!!
Anyway two hours later, I made it there. I started the trip back pissed and cursing everything and everyone. But I arrived with a smile on my face and a new found peace. As I'm driving and the car hops at every bump, I find myself thinking of a skit on the "Whose Line is it Anyway Show."
Have you seen this show? It stars four comedians who are put into odd situations and they must improvise a skit on the spur of the moment. Not only do they improvise, but they make me laugh at whatever situation they are in. It's really funny to see Colin Mochrie, Drew Carey, Ryan Stiles and Wayne Brady pick up on something unexpected and just play with it.
So I see myself in this disempowered state and I see Colin making believe that he is riding in a car, sitting really low to the ground and his arm resting on the imaginary window ledge. He is going down the road without a care in the world while in the green screen behind him chaos ensues. The dichotomy and contrast is just funny. I can imagine Colin's silly smile when he finally realizes what is happening behind him.
What I saw available for me:
Well I say the question "Whose life is it anyway?" Just because circumstances are NOT what I was expecting in life, it does not mean that it’s time to freak out and let the world fall apart! In fact, it’s an opportunity to deal with the bad things in a way that empowers me.
Sure I have every right to be pissed, angry and overwhelmed - but why?? Yes, bad things happen, but I have the choice of who I am going to be in the face of chaos. Do I let that piss me off and leave me disempowered - OR - to I choose to be empowered no matter the circumstance.
I choose to empower myself and overcome the circumstances! This leaves a space available for me to take action about it anyway.
So finally crossing this soggy bog, I am now free to find my home in the country.
Waiting there for me is my family.
The days pass and finally I reach my home. As I approach the house, I feel this energy field that is different that anything I've ever experienced before.
The background glows bright and the air is thick with a mist. The house glows as well and almost seems to be floating. This gives me a very ethereal feeling.
I find myself standing outside and unable to enter. Almost as if I'm standing at the window between this world and the other. She stands at the window and waits for me to approach. The space between us is as intangible as air yet so real that I can almost reach over that threshold and hold her hand. But this I will never do.
We talk for a while and she completes the conversation by saying "You must go! This time and space is no longer your home. It can no longer be yours. Return to your new home."
I feel a warm, internal heat filling my body and my feet no longer touch the ground. She smiles at me and I feel a sense of joy and peace flowing from her. Her peace fills my soul and I realize that she is right. I am no longer of that time and space.
"Valhalla... I am coming."
This dream comes full circle. In the First Part I do not accept the fact that I am at Valhalla. In the second part, I try to escape the inevitable outcome and run thru the clearing back across the River Styx crossing over the valley.
Now in the third part, I find her. She enlightens me of where I am and that I have crossed an ethereal plane thru which I cannot return. Her peace shows me that it is OK to return to my place as one of the chosen ones at Valhalla.
How does this relate to my present day reality? First I love mythology & Led Zeppelin therefore that symbolism. Well I have been living in the past. I have been mourning for over 8 years and that has kept me from continuing on my path. Now it is time to complete that. I have allowed the loss of my mother, my father-in-law, my mother-in-law, Pedro, Jennifer, Baby Grace and several others to eat away at who I am. I have allowed parts of me to die with them. I have lost vitality, passion for life and have dwelled in sadness for too long. Lamenting the past will not let me move forward.
Today the light at the clearing is filling me with peace. Today I am committed to living a life that is full of Passion, Love and most of all Joyfulness. This is what I choose to live this day forward.
Last night I had a very interesting dream. The dream was very vivid, almost lucid and most definitely sequential. A lot like my Bella Mercedes dream, this is definitely an Epic-type Dream. The dream was spread out thru several different moments from which I felt like I woke up several times during the night. As I fell asleep again, the dream would just pickup where I left off last. Also the dream was accompanied by several songs.
The dream started with me riding my horse thru the Nordic countryside. I see myself as a lone horseman from Scandinavian folklore in a hurry to complete my journey from the end of a battle. Like Led Zeppelin's song says: "Valhalla, I am coming..." (MP3) I felt lost in this forest for what seemed like months. Finally, out of the corner of my eye, I see light coming from a clearing in the distance. I make my way towards the clearing and the imagery, sounds and environment change.
The feeling I got in this part of the dream is a Celtic mysticism. The music running in my head still feels like Led Zeppelin-esque (MP3)
At the edge of the clearing I see a beautifully lush valley. I am no longer on horse back and I find myself walking. I am now wearing soft leather-laced sandals. Walking for what felt like hours, I must complete crossing this valley and I reach the edge of a river. I see myself dipping my feet into the river, stepping on moss covered rocks.
This time instead of running towards something, I find myself running away from something. There is a strong need to cross the river but I must rest for the night. Tomorrow will be another way.
The morning mist is laying very low, kissing the top of the trees. Dew dripping from the tips of soft, large leaves drips onto my forehead and wakes me. Softly the sun rises to light up the day.
Waking to a new dawn, I must complete my journey. Now I find myself to be a Greek soldier. The cold water of the river running between my legs is forceful and I struggle to keep my balance. "I must cross and must reach the other side."
On the other side of the river is a marshy area. Foggy and slippery, this bog I must cross.
On the other side I will find my home. Finally I can rest.
To be continued...
This dream is full of imagery, mixed mythologies and dark undertones. It is gigantic in the story it is trying to tell me and so vivid that - awake - I can still see the images. In the first part I am a Nordic warrior on a journey to (what in the song is called) Valhalla. ("In Norse mythology, Valhalla is a majestic, enormous hall located in Asgard, ruled over by the god Odin. Chosen by Odin, those that die in combat travel to Valhalla upon death, led by the Valkyries." - Wikipedia). At the end of battle I return, as a chosen one, to Valhalla. But being "lost in this forest" I feel like I do not belong there.
Therefore in the second part I travel to the end of the dark forest to the light of the "clearing" running away from death to the valley where my home is.
Waiting for the next day "There is a strong need to cross the river but I must rest for the night." So why am I now a Greek soldier waiting for darkness to be over to cross the river? Well in Greek mythology - the transcending from one world to the other is reprensented by the crossing of the River Styx. By crossing back across the river I am trying to escape darkness and am now trying to embrace my previous life.
You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water." -Rabindranath Tagore
So this is where I am finding myself lately. Standing at the shores of life looking out to the horizon, waiting to see what the future will bring.
I find that I have let the economy (or should I say - the stories, chatter, news about the state of the economy) dictate that I stay stranded on these shores.
Fear has a way of causing me to be frozen. Forcing myself to seek out new contacts. Join new networks - even look up some old friends and rekindle those friendships.
Help some bloggers by increasing pageview, contributing to their ad revenue. But an even simpler idea: Getting to know one another, even commenting on each other's posts and helping each other out.
She calls it "Blog the Recession Month."
Her idea is nice & the premise is simple:
If you read blogs, then for the month of August, make the "pledge" to click through from your feed reader. No obligation to leave a hilarious comment or send a long stalkerish email (although both, within reason, are always lovely). Just click through to the blog (not on ads unless you are so led) and if you're feeling generous, click around to their older posts.
Just those extra page views can make a big difference for bloggers who could really use the help...
Pageviews, ad revenue but most important, comments. Comments are always nice to get. It helps me feel like someone is actually visiting & I'm not "sitting here blogging at myself."
I love the idea because it's fun, creates a community with like interests, and most of all allows me to feel like I am contributing something to you.
I just got a glimpse of the real grandeur of the universe and the immensity of God. How large & magnificent can the Creator be to have made the universe.
A few weeks back my son & I were walking around the neighborhood & my son saw a red ant hill. He runs over to it, takes a stick & goes to destroy the ant hill. I stop him and tell him to leave the ants alone. I remember imaging an ant looking up and being overwhelmed by the shear size of my son in relationship to theirs.
So today I got a feeling of what the ants might have visualized.
The perspective of our place on earth. I am one person in, a small town in the state of Florida, in the best country on earth. Now imagine the U.S.A. in relationship to the mass of the earth. Then the relationship of the earth to the sun (that's the earth on the lower right side), the third rock from the Sun. Then just picture our solar system compared to our galaxy and the size of our galaxy compared with the universe.
Yes, I know this is actually old news - and yes any grade school science student knows that. The science is elementary, so I won't go there - What I want to discuss is something bigger, more magnificent - so just hang on & ride it out with me...
Imagine the grandeur of a Creator that can conceive all of this!
Our Earth is really tiny compared to the sun. This is enough to leave me in awe! but I want you to know that our sun is only an ordinary star, classified as a dwarf star. There are more than 100 million such stars in our galaxy.
If our Sun is a dwarf then imagine the size of a Giant star! A typical one is about the size of the Earth's orbit around the Sun. Now picture a star even larger! so large that "Giant" is not enough to describe it. The scientists had to come up with a name like "SuperGiant."
VY Canis Majoris is called a HyperGiant because of its very high luminosity.
"A typical red supergiant phase lasts about 500,000 years. A massive star becomes a red supergiant near the end of its life, when it exhausts the hydrogen fuel at its core. As the core contracts under gravity, the outer layers expand, the star gets 100 times larger, and it begins to lose mass at a higher rate.
VY Canis Majoris is the largest known star and also one of the most luminous known. It is located about 5,000 light-years from Earth in a constellation called Canis Major. VY Canis Majoris is only one of the HyperGiants that makes up this constellation known as one of the dogs following Orion the hunter.
VY Canis Majoris has probably already shed about half of its mass, and it will eventually explode as a supernova." - hubblesite.com
This really leaves me in awe!
Our sun is but a pixel next to this giant. Can you imagine the vastness of the universe where this HyperGiant exists only as one piece of a giant constellation!?
Now imagine a creator that can conceive of all of this.
He is so grand that we as humans cannot even fathom this greatness. He is all, sees all and is omnipresent, even with us.
So grand that anything we conceive as a 'BIG' concern, issue or problem is minuscule compared to the greatness of God. By this I mean that anything and everything is do-able for God! Nothing is a 'big problem' for him and the vastness of His compassion can help us with our BIGGEST problem.
Think of this the next time that you are dealing with the 'problems' of life:
"Don't tell God how big your problems are...tell your problems how big God is."
Give them all to God and surrender to His greatness. I ask you to accept His generosity, compassion and His LOVE. His love is bigger then anything we can ever imagine!
Here is the whole thing for a complete perspective.
"Pangea Day uses the power of film to bring the world a little closer together."
Pangea is the hypothetical landmass that existed when all continents were believed to be one. This is where everything, all of us originated.
Pangea Day is the day where people in Barcelona, Spain; Madurai, India; Maputo, Mozambique; Medellin, Colombia; and little old me in Boynton Beach, Florida, USA can be part of a singular global event. I AM one not only with my thoughts, my family, BUT with the whole world!
It is the experience of what it is to BE human.
In one segment of the event Jonathan Harris presented his website wefeelfine.org where he explores human emotions on a global scale. I realized that I am experiencing many of the same emotions. He shows that we are one!
"Stories are the glue that holds the world together."
It's funny to see what one posts on a blog can actually inspire something in someone else. I guess this is why I write this blog - to actually make a difference out there. Maybe something I say can make a difference out there.
Another presenter, Ishmael Beah was a child soldier when he lost his family at war in his African country. He asked us to
"See each other's common humanity and not the differences that tear us apart."
He expressed that Hope is a form of strength! So my hope for the world is that war, anger, hatred, indifference will all one day disappear and we can live united as one!
Yesterday, the family & I did our usual Sunday thing.
In the morning the three of us went to church & then my son & I went to see a baseball game. This week it was the Jupiter Hammerheads vs the Daytona Cubs (It's Minor League baseball). It was a great day for both of us.
Not only did we have some great father/son moments, but my son won a baseball & a baseball bat at the game. He was so excited!!
Even better he got his bat autographed by 9 Hammerhead players! Here he is, getting his new bat signed by a couple of players.
I love Roger Dean Stadium! It is a small field and it feels old-time & personable. Even the town of Jupiter has that old-time quiet hometown feel. The players shake hands with the kids and it's just about having fun.
In the past I've been to Major League games where the Marlins are out of reach. They charge for autographs and the players even get arrogant about what they will not sign. These are kids who look up to these guys as heroes - come on! is this what we want our heroes to act like? They have forgotten the 'game' of baseball vs the 'business' of it.
Anyway off my soapbox!
These guys of the Minor League are one-on-one with the kids. I love that!
I especially love how close we can get to the playing field! I enjoy taking tons of pictures & trying to catch them in action.
Here's one I'm proud of. Not only did I catch the very moment where he hits the ball - BUT - I got the swing at the very second the bat is breaking! Awesome Luck!! If you zoom in, you could see the bat as it's cracking!
This is what I love about life. It feels good to be a part of moments like this - they only come around once. It feels even better to know that in a world that is constantly at war, we can still find good 'ol American Baseball - gotta love it!!!
"A man paints with his brain and not with his hands."
– Michelangelo Italian Renaissance Sculptor and Painter
It is our imagination that allows us to paint, draw, sculpt, create! Allowing our 'self' to express itself is what we were meant to do & it is what gives us our greatness.
Ran across this beautiful picture while browsing in Flickr.com.
It is a very crisp picture that puts me right there over looking out to the bay. I am feeling the cold weather & can feel my breath in the cold crisp air.
Sitting here feeling the breeze coming in from the water & the chill that the wet air brings with it, I find myself drifting away.
I learned that he left behind a twin sister, a brother & two griving parents. He liked Arizona Ice Tea (as do I) & he is very much loved by his family. Live flowers indicate that this memorial is being maintained by loved ones. BOCA RATON Somebody takes care of this marker with live flowers. The day I took this picture, the lawn maintenance crew was trimming back some overgrown weeds off the marker. The lawn mowers are buzzing by; the edge trimmers are whipping stubborn, overgrown weeds out of existance and the traffic is whirling by. In the mist of all this noise and urban chaos, I experienced a moment on peace, gratitude & solice.
As everything buzzing by, I see the lawn maintance guy all of a sudden slow his pace down. He put down the weed eater and got down on his kness. He reached and pulled the weeds around this memorial out by hand. One-by-one each weed and overgrown blade of grass was pulled. By the time I went to reach for the camera, the moment passed. He got up, did the sign of the cross over his chest, bowed down and in that instant, the whirlling of the weed cutter started up again.
Life passing by in a blaring instant did not allow me to capture this moment - except in my memory.
That is how life goes by! In the moment we stop to analyze it, it is gone! Life is to short so live every moment as if it was the only that mattered.
From photographing these Descansos, I will capture the moment and I will reflect on what it means to me. I am even thinking of documenting all of this - yuo never know - this could be my thesis for a masters!! Or at the very least a documentary study of roadside memorials in South Florida.
ANONYMOUS A stainless steel cross finely crafted and lovingly devoted. Made so that it will never wear away, never fade away...
...like the public memories of the crash. THE EDGE The edge between light and shadow is lovingly marked so that no one can ever forget. The message of love, loss & remembrance is boldly stated for everyone to know that someone crossed over right here.
(Another premise for a short story... Please let me know what you think.) It was a typical New York summer morning, you know, hot, muggy and the air had the thick charge of war. Last night was not a typical Friday night, though. The sounds of battle were louder than usual. The gunfight, the police sirens glaring and the urgency of the ambulance's lights seemed closer. The popping of gunfire kept me sitting at the edge of the bed, curled up in a corner. It goes on for what seems like hours. The noise constantly going and the sounds of timber popping in the fire! I don't know if I could go out there and do that.
I head outside for some air. Sitting on the front stoop waiting for what - I don't know - just staring off into space. My mother comes out a few minutes later sees me sitting there. What's the matter honey? The sounds last night kept me up. Don't worry, honey that was far away - it won't affect you, she conforts me. With these words, I forget last night's events. Quikly, she loads the kids up into the Kermit-the-Frog green 1972 Chevy Station Wagon. Every third Sunday of the month, always at six am, we would head down to Hunts Point market. The point, as it's reputation precedes it, was an unusual sigh of relief from this war zone. It was full of activity and life, unlike this neighborhood.
As we pull away from the house & round the corner, the sights of the South Bronx come into view. Building after building burned to the ground and the unlucky ones that did not burn or collapse, stood like hollowed out skeletons with an empty stare. This created a field of ruble, among empty shells of the past, that my older brother and I would use as our playground.
We were one of the lucky ones. Our block was one of the few that were not destroyed from the usual fires. Each of the houses on our block were owned by normal folks and as such did not suffer the demise of the ones owned by the slumlords. Many of our friends have lost their homes this way.
Finally we arrive at the Point. I love this place! Here I see my mother's true ability of negotiation. Her strongest virtue is her ability to haggle with the vendors to buy cases of carrots, oranges and tomatoes. She would work them down to the point where the guys would say, lady! I give up - I can't go that low. At that instant, she would say, Ok kids lets move on! She would take a small step forward and start walking away. Sure enough, the vendors would stop her and a strange thing would happen. Her eyes would light up and she would get this look on her face, she knew she's got them. As she turns around, she would add, I will only take it, if you throw in two pint of strawberries. Sure enough she would get it and we would be satisfied for the rest of the day of shopping. Eating berries and playing safe innocent kids games on the loading dock of the Point. Safety among the chaos of the city.
I liked this story enough that I started a new blog all its own. It is a fictitious journal of the daily adventures of a young boy surviving the urban jungle of the war-torned South Bronx. Check it out!
"From our orbital vantage point, we observe an Earth without borders, full of peace, beauty and magnificence. And we pray that Humanity as a whole can IMAGINE a borderless world, as we see it, and strive to live as one in Peace." - William McCool (Astronaut - died on February 1, 2003 over the southern United States when Space Shuttle Columbia and her crew perished during entry.)
McCool had requested John Lennon's song Imagine to be his 'space song.' His vision of what the world could be is inspiring.
I can only IMAGINE what he saw. A tremendous sense of power! Mixed with the realization that we are only specks of dust in the wind. Yes I can fathom how that view of our world could inspire him.
This image is a space image over Turkey. Looking at it I can visualize humanity as one borderless world.
I can picture a world where our country is no longer wrapped up by its own limited borders. I can imagine the self-created boundaries disappearing - no longer seperating us. No longer keeping us away from the others. All of a sudden I can picture an Indian in the Amazon jungle that much closer to me. I can visualize that starving child in Ethiopia as close as my own son.
All humans living as one. Yes, I can imagine that! Maybe one day I will be present to that level of magnificence.
I don't want to put thoughts into your mind. Yes, the realist in me would say that this is just camera failure - leave it at that. But why now? Why for images of the descansos?
Sorry can't help myself - what are these people doing in the middle of the road!? This image looks like white lighters are waiting for me at the gateway. Welcoming me to another world.
Just look at the larger image I you will see what I mean.
This is a third image, I'm posting, of my first attempt to photograph the descanso.
As I explained, I can take pictures just fine. I have done it before, actually the pictures I took just hours before were fine. But now that I am trying to document the descansos - the pictures are, all of a sudden, not coming out well.
Anyway, the images I did get are very surreal & almost mystic. This image looks like a group of people heading up the road off into the sunset. What is yet to come is only available ahead of the roadway.
Another picture that ended up differently than intended. This was after taking the image of the "descanso" marker. On my way back home I took some images of the road. Again it was broad daylight (look at the lightpost - no lights on) but the image is dark & ominous. The sky was a bright blue & the clouds were white with a bright red glow from the setting sun. The impression that I got from this image is of a group of people just waiting around. Almost like drifting souls looking for direction & guidance. Off to the left comes the white lighters that will guide them further.
I cannot understand what happened (I know - camera failure) but the images are quite eerie & mystically wonderful.
I started documenting my Descansos project & ran into some - for a lack of a better word - strangeness. I was taking a picture of a "descanso" - a place of rest along our journey of life. I got this strange feeling that I was invading somebody's privacy.
I took this picture in broad daylight as the sun was beginning to set. No special filters/effects, just the camera acting strange. The sky was a beautiful red, but as you can see the camera decided on a different image. I was focusing on the "Drive Safely" marker. The setup was perfect. The marker was in the foreground with a lone rail car left on the rail tracks & some tall trees in the background. Beyond that were some beautiful red clouds in the sky & a power pole on the right.
I call this one "The Guardians" because it looks like a group looking over the marker that is glowing below from the flash. The whole background is pitch black & the pole looks like a cross. The camera was set at auto iso, so it should have taken the image very clearly (as were the previous images I took hours before of a mundane object).
I do not know what happened or why but it is as if I was not meant to get these pictures. I took about (20) & they are all distorted in one way or another. I will post several more just because they are strangely beautiful.
Every day, I drive I-95 in Palm Beach & Broward Counties. Each day I am drawn to the "Drive Safely" signs along the side of the road. The signs are more & more dotting the edge of the highway & more frequently are being decorated with flowers, wreaths, even photographs. These signs - these 'descansos' (Spanish for 'place of rest') along the highway calls to me and draws my attention. Along many highways, modern day 'descansos' stand as symbols for life, death, remembrance and celebration. These nondescript "Drive Safely" signs are shrines to not only express the loss of a loved one who died in a vehicular accident, but to draw our attention to the tragedy that occurred.
In the early pioneer days, the American settlers used descansos to mark the sites where pioneers, killed in Indian ambushes, lost their lives in their journey. The descansos were created to remind people to pray for the deceased. In today's secular society, there is still a strong need to mark the place where the loss occurred.
Mostly because these are tragic deaths, yank out of this earth and not a natural death, where closure can occur. I consider them the resting spots along the journey of life where the individual stopped and rested. In the state of Florida, the only allowed marker is the "Drive Safely" sign. The signs are only placed if the friends/families request & pays to have this sign erected by the state - AND - they are temporary. They are only kept for 1 year.
These markers are erected as a private need to commemorate the actual place of loss. But obviously, these signs are a public manifestation of life - a piece of folklore - commemorative art - to serve as a reminder to us not to forget that this person lived a life of significance. The family needs to let us know of whose life was lost. Only we did not get a chance to know their significance.
For this reason, I am embarking on a project of documenting the "descansos." This project is a way to express my daily journey and the things that impact my daily experience. For years I drove by these marker only knowing that my life was safe & secure & that the state was reminding us to just- "Drive Safely." I never wondered why they were there or why they were randomly scattered along the roadway. Till one day! I was stuck in traffic - an accident ahead had us crawling like turtles following the dashed lines towards my home. I never noticed that just under the "Drive Safely" logo was somebody's name with a starting & ending dates. I'm saddened to say - I never took the time to notice that - somebody died here.
For months all I did was wonder - until one day. I was drawn to a memorial that had (4) markers on the same spot. Each had the names of each individual on the markers, but the most impacting thing was that they were also decorated with lots of flowers. I had to stop to see. Each had pictures and notes attached - I dare not read - but whose unspoken words touched my soul. I can no longer just drive by these markers, I need to know.
Little did I know that life is what was calling me thru those signs. Every fiber of these shrines talks of life. Life lost, lives left behind, life's journey. I need to celebrate life! To commemorate their life and to honor the life of their families left with this memory.
This project is not intended to rehash the accident or how it happened, but to express to society what we have lost, what we have allowed to happen and the need to acknowledge who is left behind. The mothers and fathers; the wives and girlfriend; the sons and daughters; the aunts and uncles; the grandparents and grandchildren. I want to celebrate the legacy that they leave behind. For this reason this project is a two fold effort to celebrate life.
First, to actually document the markers. The markers only exist for a period of one year & then are removed. Also here in South Florida, I-95 construction is constantly changing the landscape & the markers are disappearing from the roadside. Second, to have the State of Florida acknowledge & create a unified memorial. A place where each individual is remembered and expressed in context with society. I want to have a place where each and every life will not be forgotten about. A place where each individual's significance can be known to the public - but also a place where the loss will be seen in the larger context.
In this country there are over 50,000 travel-related deaths annually. This is the equivalent to the loss of a fully loaded 747 crashing every other day. Can you imagine that number! OK, how about this - it is almost equals the total number of America soldiers killed in the Vietnam War (58,177 per Official US DoD, 1964-73). These numbers are not acceptable!
The context of a society where the daily grind has made us too preoccupied with the logistics of life, rather than actually living life to the fullest. We have become careless; our carelessness & lack of awareness, while driving, allows these tragedies to occur. Driving while intoxicated is the largest. Now driving while on the cell phone is also obvious, but would you believe that something as mundane as putting on makeup can account for 14%; How about grooming your hair - that's 16%; OK would you believe eating while driving is a WHOPPING 66%. The California DMV put it in third place. So driving drunk is not the only real killer. This statistic can no longer continue unnoticed.
My project is intended to educate myself and others - but - most importantly as a celebration of life. A celebration for what they were & who they left behind. LIFE - Love it for what it is and live it to the fullest!
This gentle ancient chant, the primal seed sound that is attributed as the initiating sound of creation, has become my soothing chant.
The sound of the soundless. Absolute is chanted here.
The lovliest explanation of OM is found within the ancient Vedic and Sanskrit traditions. We can read about AUM in the marvelous Manduka Upanishad, which explains the four elements of AUM as an allegory of the four planes of consciousness.
"A" (pronounced "AH" as in "father") resonates in the center of the mouth. It represents normal waking consciousness, in which subject and object exist as separate entities. This is the level of mechanics, science, logical reason, the lower three chakras. Matter exists on a gross level, is stable and slow to change.
Then the sound "U" (pronounced as in "who") transfers the sense of vibration to the back of the mouth, and shifts the allegory to the level of dream consciousness. Here, object and subject become intertwined in awareness. Both are contained within us. Matter becomes subtle, more fluid, rapidly changing. This is the realm of dreams, divinities, imagination, the inner world.
"M" is the third element, humming with lips gently closed. This sound resonates forward in the mouth and buzzes throughout the head. (Try it.) This sound represents the realm of deep, dreamless sleep. There is neither observing subject nor observed object. All are one, and nothing. Only pure consciousness exists, unseen, pristine, latent, covered with darkness. This is the cosmic night, the interval between cycles of creation, the womb of the divine Mother.
An Extract of "A-U-M-Silence ... the ancient sound of "OM" by David Gordon
I will allow this chant to help deepen my existance. It will bring peace and calmness to my being.
Here is another Deja Vu dream. About a month ago I had a dream that I was standing in this front yard under a very large tree. This tree has many long thick branches and the root system was on the surface. The root system is very extensive and intercrossing across the floor. I see myself walking over the large roots to reach a hammock that is spanning several large branches. At the time this dream had no meaning or significance, since I did not know where it was. I have never seen this place before or since - until just the other day! My sister and her husband bought a new house. I was helping them move in - this was my first time seen the house. After we were done we sat down in the yard to eat lunch and - poof there was the hammock hanging from the very same tree I had seen in my dream weeks before.
Many years ago I experienced a visitation that is still with me to this day. I was sleeping in my bed, when I am awaken by a soft female voice calling my name. I sit up in bed and catch a glimpse of something at the right hand corner of my room. There in the corner, next to the dresser is Valmi - just standing there. She was not a solid mass but a glowing, transparent image. Almost like an angel.
She says "I'm here just to say goodbye to you." I ask her "where are you going" but she just ignores my question, smiles and tells me "take good care of your wife..."
The aura and glow around her starts flickering and then she fades away.
See Valmi for me was not only my brother-in-law's sister, but she is Love, Peace & Joy. She was a very strong, tall woman with a very sweet and soothing voice. She worked as a butcher with tough hands, but with a very soft & loving touch.
She lives in Mt. Vernon, NY in a house that is partially owned by her, my brother-in-law & another one of their sisters. My brother-in-law would always invite our family to the parties there and that house was always - for me - full of fun, joy & freedom when I was a kid.
Something was telling me to go & visit her, since "there is no time left" is what I kept hearing. So I took a Saturday off to go see her. I visited her in that same house (maybe 100 miles away from Philly - where I was living at that time) just the week before my visitation. This time the joy was missing. She was very ill - dying of cancer - and a sadness in her eyes.
I saw her without her usual strength, without her usual happy smile and without her hair. She was almost embarrassed of the loss of hair - she did not want me to see her like that. But I had a very strong need to see her to I asked her husband to let my wife & I in. What I saw was a body physically ready to go, but a soul that still wanted to spread her joy to her family. She still had that soft touch.
So when she showed up in my bedroom that night, I could not sleep anymore. Her presence really made me wonder why had I experienced her & why was I seeing her as an aura. Two days later, I get a call from my sister in Florida. She gives me the news that Valmi passed away - just so happens - the same night & about the same time that I experienced my visitation.
It all makes sense to me now. She was talking to me and at the time I did not know why she was telling me this. But she said the following:
"Please ask my brother to care for my kids. He is the one that will do what's right for them. And please keep an eye on my brothers and sisters so they will always know that I love them. Give them my love & joy."
I always think of Valmi. She was a great person. Full of life - full of love and joy for everyone. She was a wonderful soul & by sharing my story, I want to give you the gift of Joy & Love she asked me to share with you.
I miss you Valmi! Thank you for allowing me to see that there is more to life then what we think we know. And that the Love & Joy you were - is still present for all.
The flowers in the lobby look a little sad today. They are drooping and falling onto the table. But the scent hits me as soon as I entered the seventh floor lobby. 
The aura and glow around her starts flickering and then she fades away.