The Trivia of Life Keeps us from Experiencing our Greatness

I love music! but specially I love the lyrics. I love to understand what the lyrics of songs mean - or at least what the lyrics mean to me.

Here is another song that I like:

I look around at other people
I brush their shoulders at the corner of the street
But all they notice is their feet
It wasn't meant this way
Their minds have gone astray

If they could lift their eyes they'd see
There's people smiling just like me and I'll agree
It's not their fault because it's raining
It's all work and no play, it's just another day

Love and beauty
Love and beauty
Should be everybody's duty
To welcome every man as a friend

I wish that I could change the world
For every boy there'd be a girl for him to know
And maybe people would look up
Then they might realise they're not the only ones alive"

-- Love and Beauty by Mike Pinder of the Moody Blues

"I brush their shoulders..." tells me that he wants to connect/interact with them but they are too self absorbed to notice (all they notice is their feet). What he is describing makes me feel like an elevator moment. You know, that moment of awkward silence where nobody wants to even look into each other's eyes. What are we avoiding? what are we afraid of?

"It's not their fault because it's raining. It's all work and no play, it's just another day..." continues by justifying those actions and giving us permission to keep it just that way. But what we do not realize is that this mechanism is what we all use to keep us from experiencing the greatness of other and our own greatness. We keep ourselves in our shells to avoid the other.

The everyday 'trivia' (as Monty Python calls it in Meaning of Life)is our circumstances, our problems, our human condition, our little voice in our head - that keeps us from experiencing who we really are and keeps us from experiencing the other. We keep ourselves in a state of being that is ordinary - never living our dreams.

We live a life of always wishing that "I could change the world" and the only hope we have is to live with the expectation that the other "might realise they're not the only ones alive."

The "mind fake" of it all is that most of us live our lives like those silent moment in the elevator. No one dares to look up because of the overwhelming subconcious fear that runs us. So therefore no one will ever notice. And if no one notices there is no desire to look up.

This loop of doubt and self-imposed isolation is intended by the 'trivia' to keep us from realizing our greatness. Oblivious to the fact that "Love and Beauty" is all that God has intended for us.

Like my favorite movie, the Matrix, suggest: "Take the red pill, Neo, and I'll show you how deep the rabbit role goes..."

Do you live on in ignorance (and potentially bliss) by taking the blue pill - OR - do you lead what Aristotle called 'the examined life' and take the red pill?"
-- Matrix Philosophy

What do you think? Which pill would you choose?

Surrender

Another song that caught my attention & that stuck in my head. The lyrics are clean and simple. Beautiful song...

"I'm giving You my heart
All that is within
I lay it all down
For the sake of You my King
I'm giving You my dreams
laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride
For the promise of new life

And I Surrender
All to You, all to You
And I Surrender
All to You, all to You

Singing You this song
Waiting at the Cross
And all the world holds dear
Count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You
For the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy
Even sharing in Your pain"

And I Surrender
All to You, all to You
And I Surrender
All to You, all to You

- Marc James, Surrender

Just a Singer...

I've been listening to a lot of different music lately. Old Rolling Stones, Robert Plant, Bluegrass, The Texas Girls, Moody Blues, Antony and the Johnsons... many different style, many different artists. The one thing that I find in common in the different music is a sense of hope & a longing to belong. A sense of oneness seems to be what I'm drawn to.

Today, I was listening to the Moody Blue's "I'm Just A Singer (In A Rock And Roll Band)." I've heard this song so many times before, but this time was the first time that I actually got drawn into the lyrics. The words are inspiring to me.

"I'm just a wandering on the face of this earth
Meeting so many people
Who are trying to be free
And while I'm traveling I hear so many words

Language barriers broken
Now we've found the key
And if you want the wind of change
To blow about you
And you're the only other person to know, don't tell me
I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band.

A thousand pictures can be drawn from one word
Only who is the artist
We got to agree
A thousand miles can lead so many ways

Just to know who is driving
What a help it would be
So if you want this world of yours
To turn about you
And you can see exactly what to do
Please tell me
I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band.

How can we understand
Riots by the people for the people
Who are only destroying themselves
And when you see a frightened
Person who is frightened by the
People who are scorching this earth.

I'm just a wandering on the face of this earth
Meeting so many people
Who are trying to be free
And while I'm traveling I hear so many words

Language barriers broken
Now we've found the key
And if you want the wind of change
To blow about you
And you're the only other person to know, don't tell me
I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band.

How can we understand
Riots by the people for the people
Who are only destroying themselves
And when you see a frightened
Person who is frightened by the
People who are scorching this earth.

Music is the traveller crossing our world
Meeting so many people bridging the seas
I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band.
We're just the singers in a rock and roll band.
I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band..."

What I'm getting from these lyrics is that I can be a simple man (the singer) and my thoughts/ideas (wonderings) can actually make a difference in this world. My thoughts & ideas which are my music, are the "traveller" that crosses "worlds" and bridges the seas.

Music is the key - it is the one thing that all cultures have and it is the one thing that breaks down the barries that keep my soul from expressing itself. It has no pretences, no image to protect - just an expressions of my deeper soul. This is what is common in all man-kind - ours souls wanting to be free and its the key that makes the difference.

Foolish Old Man - #5

"I'm going to lunch. You want me to get you something?" asks my assistant Dani. A few moments of silence sits in the air as Dani waits for my reply. "What did you say - lunch, is it that time already?" I reply faking a happy distracted mood. Dani seems to be worried for me now and not sure what to say. "What's the matter? You have been so distracted all day long."

"Oh. nothing, I just got off the phone with Mercy and I got some sad news." Again a few seconds of silence as I stare at my computer screen and ponder what Mercy just said. The words "Kirk's daughters are busy right now and could not talk to me. But they gave me their OK to put him in Hospice." Wow! This left me feeling totally empty. How can they be so unconcerned.

I suddenly realize that Dani is waiting for me to continue. "Nothing really!" I reply, forcing an even more insecure smile. She stares me down to tell her the truth "It's just that Mercy had to take Kirk to the hospital & she just gave me some bad news." Dani pulls up a chair and immediately sits down, almost as if to say - Tell me more...

"Mercy just had to put Kirk in Hospice." Dani & I are just sitting there staring at each other - not sure what to say. I'm sitting there silently thinking, was it Kirk that I was waiting for at the gates of heaven?

"Oh my God! Hospice? Isn't Kirk that older gentleman that Mercy takes care of?" Dani adds. Before I could reply she continues. "Why is Mercy the one registering him into Hospice? Isn't his family supposed to be there to do it?" This question hit me hard. Kirk has no one - here. He finds himself all alone & the only person to love & care for him is Mercy.

It hit home for me & my mind immediately flashes to a future of where my life is heading. I am so wrapped up in my worries. So wrapped up in myself & circumstances that I leave people aside. Paying the bills and making my business work can't be the only things I devote my time to if I want my family to be there for me. I saw myself - in my future - as Kirk is right now!

I see myself laying in a hospital bed. I'm a frail old man, laying there with all kinds of wires poking into my body, and thick tubes hanging out of my nose. There are loads of machines that seem to be monitoring all my vital signs. Nurses are urgently dashing in and out of the room. There is plenty of activity going on as people are taking care of me. I am seeing this as I'm floating over my bed looking down at myself. I see one nurse taking my pulse while another nurse is preparing the heart defibrillator. Everything is beeping like crazy! The monitor alarms going off and the life line on the screen all of a sudden goes... flat!

I see the doctor leaning over me, trying to listen for my breath. "That's OK nurse. We're not going to need that now." He says and just pauses for a second, As if to make sure that this is his final decision.

"He's gone."

Then everything goes silent! No beeping, no alarms going off. Nothing!

I can't hear a sound and things seem to be in slow motion and foggy now. I look around the room and all I see is sterile white walls and the coldness of all the metallic equipment. Not one bouquet of flower to add color to my world, nor there to soften the scent in the air. Not one card or picture to breakup the sterile white-ness of my space.

And worse of all - not one person crying for me as my soul drifts out of my body. Wher is Mercy and Marc? Have I chased them away?

What have I done with my life?

As I drift away all there is, is a soft song that fills the air. I had the radio tuned to a classic rock station before all this started. And up until now I did not even hear that radio.

But now...

the music just fills my soul. The serenity of the moment and the peace in nothingness fills me. The only thing I can focus on is the lyrics of this song playing:

Isn't life strange
A turn of the page
A book without light
Unless with love we write
To throw it away
To lose just a day
The quicksand of time
You know it makes me want to cry cry, cry.

Wish I could be in your heart
To be one with your love
Wish I could be in your eyes
Looking back - there you were...

- Moody Blues (Isn't Life Strange)

As I ascend past the ceiling of my room, the sounds of the room start to fade away. The lyrics, now just a distant memory, makes me wonder - if some of those, that I've left behind long ago, who shared my happiest moments - ever think about me. I start to cry and weep from all the loneliness I've created around me, as I drift away for all eternity.

"What's the matter?" Dani questions, shocking me back to the present moment. "Why are you crying?" Dani reaches over and hands me a tissue to dry my tears. As my mind settles back to my present day reality, I get frightened by that future. I need to do something so that my future does not look like that! As I land back into my body, I feel compelled to answer Dani. "No, Kirk's daughters live in California and in New Jersey. They are busy and cannot be here to put him in Hospice. We are his family here. He is my father-in-law; my mother; my cousin. He is all that I know - all that I've lost - all that I am. I need to care for him now."

Farther then the Sun

A hauntingly beautiful song by Caroline Lavelle! As I listen to this song I am drawn to a moment of pure clarity. The music, the words, the melancholic melody puts me in a dream state and I just melt away into the words. I am pulled in & even to the point of being absorbed by the words. I feel her emotion and even feel the anger that gave life to her words.

The sea it freezes over to trap the light And I'm in love with being in love and you were never quite the one. in Gerda's eyes, fragments of what you've become and all the moths that fly at night believe electric light is bright you are not worthy."

I love to dig into a song's lyrics to find its meaning. I love to know what story inspired the creation of the song. So needless to say "in Gerda's eyes, fragments of what you've become" really caught my attention.

This is a reference to Hans Christian Andersen's story "The Snow Queen." In the story Gerda is a little girl that goes to the end's of the world to recapture Kay's love. Kay was enchanted by a witch's spell. (Read more about the spell)

Once upon a time there was a wicked sprite, indeed he was the most mischievous of all sprites. This sprite had created a mirror where all that was good and beautiful when it was reflected therein, to look poor and mean... One day the mirror shattered into million little pieces hardly so large as a grain of sand. And each piece has as much power as the original mirror. Kay catches one in his eye and in his heart and is turn cold as ice.

Gerda goes to the end's of the world to save Kay from the evil "spell" he is under & to recapture his love. Kay is blind to the world around him and sees nothing. His heart is frozen over, does not remember Gerda & feels nothing for no one. Gerda gives up everything in her life to save Kay.

Her warm tears can cause roses to grow from soil that was once frozen over, but cannot find Kay to unfreeze him. Finally when she does find him and is able to free him from the spell, they return home to find that the years have past them by and she has lost much more then she thought.

Fragment of what Kay has become under the spell - in love with the Snow Queen and no memory of Gerta. He is blinded to the world around him and sees nothing. His heart is frozen over, does not feel Gerda's love & feels nothing for no one. Gerda gives up everything in her life to search for and save Kay. Her "warm tears" can cause roses to grow from soil that was once frozen over, but cannot find Kay to unfreeze him.

Finally when she does find him and is able to warm his heart and break the spell, they return home to find that the years have past them by and she has lost much more then she thought. In recapturing Kay and his love, she has lost it all!

"you are not worthy, you are not worthy"

So in the song, the writer sees herself as Gerda - in love with the idea of Love and has given everything up for this ideal. Her realization that giving up everything, even her 'self' for him - is what she is questioning. Now in her mind is he "worthy" of her love? The story leaves you wondering - what the future holds for them, we do not know. Is he ever going to be capable of loving her as profoundly as she does him?

Her pain & disappointment is strong & I'm feeling it all! This struck a chord with me. I felt as if she was speaking to me. This seems to be a re-occurring theme for me. It is what the old man in my "Bella Mercedes" story and in my "Foolish Old Man" story are doing. Am I too wrapped up in what I've lost, that I let the world just pass me by?

I am so wrapped up in my business. Paying bills, making my business grow, making my life work; grieving my lost ones, that I do not see Mercy's moments of hope (tears). Am I too frozen over for her warm tears - capable of thawing roses frozen over by a harsh winter - it may not be capable of reaching me. How am I going to be worthy??

This song is haunting, spellbinding and beautiful - just beautiful in it's message!

Shower the People You Love with Love

It has been a few months since I've written on this blog. See in August my mother passed away. I miss her a lot and I'm always thinking about her. But this morning I woke up with this song in my head. I don't know why but I guess it has something to do with how my relationship with my sisters has been lately.

Don't get me wrong! It is not that its bad! only disconnected. We don't talk much except the superficial "hi, how are the kids" kinda calls. Since my mother's death, we have not been as close as it used to be. I guess I miss how we were. My sisters & I are not as connected. I guess each one of us is dealing with her death in our own ways. But deep in my heart, I fear that we will never have that again. She was the matriarch of our family and she was the force that kept us together. We got together to visit with our mother. She always travelled back & forth between Ecuador & here. She would stay for a couple of months & then go back. She did this a few times a year.

Since she left we don't really get together much anymore. So accepting the reality that things may never be the way they were, is hard.

This song James Taylor - Shower the People You Love with Love (MP3) inspires me to create unity in my family ANYWAY!! No matter what the circumstance may look like.

Just taking it on - no reasons or justifications - just because I want it to exist!!

So I share this song, video & lyrics so that you can be inspired as well.

"You can play the game and you can act out the part
Though you know it wasn't written for you
But tell me, how can you stand there with your broken heart
Ashamed of playing the fool
One thing can lead to another; it doesn't take any sacrifice
Oh, father and mother,and sister and brother
if it feels nice, don't think twice (yes)

Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way that you feel
Things are gonna be just fine if you only will(do as i say, yeah)
Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way that you feel
Things are gonna be much better if you only will

You can run but you cannot hide
This is widely known
And what you plan to do with your foolish pride
When you're all by yourself alone
Once you tell somebody the way that you feel
You can feel it beginning to ease
I think it's true what they say about the squeaky wheel
Always getting the grease.

Better to shower the people you love with love
(Yes and) show them the way that you feel
(I know) Things are gonna be just fine if you only will
(what I'd like to do to you)
Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way you feel
Things are gonna be much better if you only will

Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way that you feel

They say in every life
They say the rain must fall
Just like the pouring rain
Make it rain
Make it rain
Love, love, love is sunshine oh
Make it rain
Love, love, love is sunshine yeah
Everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody."

- James Taylor

An Angry Young Man

There's a place in the world for the angry young man
With his working class ties and his radical plans
He refuses to bend he refuses to crawl
And he's always at home with his back to the wall
And he's proud of his scars and the battles he's lost
And struggles and bleeds as he hangs on his cross
And likes to be known as the angry young man

Give a moment or two to the angry young man
With his foot in his mouth and his heart in his hand
He's been stabbed in the back he's been misunderstood
It's a comfort to know his intentions are good
And he sits in his room with a lock on the door
With his maps and his medals laid out on the floor
And he likes to be known as the angry young man

I believe I've passed the age of consciousness and righteous rage
I found that just surviving was a noble fight
I once believed in causes too
I had my pointless point of view
And life went on no matter who was wrong or right

And there's always a place for the angry young man
With his fist in the air and his head in the sand
And he's never been able to learn from mistakes
So he can't understand why his heart always breaks
And his honor is pure and his courage is well
And he's fair and he's true and he's boring as hell
And he'll go to the grave as an angry old man

Billy Joel Lyrics from Turnstiles

---

This continues my previous post. Anger is a state of mind that we can control. Sometimes we are so used to our anger and so close to it that we start to miss it when it is no longer there. It start to become us. We can ultimately define ourselves by our anger.

Yes this sound ridiculous, but how many times have you said "I'm so angry I can kill him!" Isn't this an even more ridiculous thought! Kill him! - do you hear yourself talk! Are you a murderer? I think not, but our words are spoken w/such fervor and intention that the anger transmits. What you say becomes real. Real in that your words now a new existance. You put it out there - out in the ether. Real thoughts, real emotions, real intentions. Still think that is ridiculous? When we yell at our kids and call them idiots, stupid, dumbass - that becomes their reality. The child grows up believing these words to be their reality. See how our words become real!

See how our anger can get the best of us - how it becomes so comfortable that we do not think twice when words spill out of our mouths. The intent materializes it!