Dreams : Ideas Flowing Like...

I find myself sleeping in a very large bedroom. My bed, a large four-poster California King with a very cozy down comforter, looks tiny in this massive master bedroom. The master bedroom was very large and also had a beautiful wood ceiling. The walls are fine silk wallpaper and the floor is a beautiful bamboo hardwood finish. The bed, in the room, was on the right 1/3 of the room with the rest of the room furnished as a large sitting area.

As I lay there dreaming, I get the sensation of something stepping on my toes. It feels like the tiny feet of my bird Rico. Every Sunday morning, when he is let out of his cage, he flies upstairs and into my bedroom.

He jumps off my toes, walks up my leg, steps on my stomach and makes his way across my chest. This is his usual path on his way to see my face. Standing at the edge of the comforter, which I have tucked under my chin, he sits there looking at me. I am now awakened by the noise Rico makes as he repeatedly turns his head side to side to get a better look at me, with both of his eyes.

I open my eyes, and Rico is startled. He chirps and then flies off. As he flies off, there is a green, orange & brown trail behind him. At first, I thought -what the heck? - but it was green, orange & brown and its trailing as he flies circles around the room. "Hey! Wait a second, green, orange & brown?" I immediately sit up on the edge of the bed & look down at the floor where its dropping. It is tiny little lovebirds with green plumage & orange cheeks walking all over the floor. I mean tiny! They are only about a 1/2 tall and there are so many of them!

This is weird! Tiny little birds walking around with a few brown worms to boot. I am totally shocked by this and I charge out of the room to get the camera! "Nobody is going to believe this! I need some evidence." I charge down the stairs & oddly enough, my wife is sleeping on the mid-span on this beautiful grand staircase. At the time, I didn't think much of it and just kept going. But when I came charging back, she was gone.

The house was a very beautiful Spanish-style mansion - felt like one of the homes I've done. The living room where my camera was, had a 14' tall pecky cypress ceiling, marble floors and the walls were a fine Venetian plaster finish. The room was one of my designs and the ceiling was finely detailed with cross beams and very ornate trim.

When I came back to the bedroom, the raised-paneled mahogany door was closed and the lower left hand corner was spray-painted with an enamel paint. The fresh baby-poop colored paint is dripping down the wall and door and spilling onto the beautiful bamboo hardwood floor. I step over it anyway and enter the room. In entering the room, I find this room feeling weird now. "I would never design the bed right in front of the door?" I question, but soon forget this inquiry and remember what I was doing.

To my surprise, there are no little birds anymore. The only thing I see is a few brown worms coiled up like a spring. I bend down to take a macro shot of the tiny worms, when I notice the noise in the other end of the room. Instead of getting up, I look thru the space under the bed & notice lots of legs & activity in the other side of the room. I get up and there, where the sitting area used to be, now sits several drawing tables with people bustling around. It looks like a brainstorming meeting waiting on the chief art director.

---

So you know what comes next... my interpritation of the dream:

OK so birds flying are symbols of communication and ideas. Over on DreamMoods.com : To see a bird in your dream, suggests that a message is being conveyed to you. Birds in history are also messangers. The fact that they are circling me means, to me, that my ideas are flowing. Also the fact that the bird is pooping other birds means to me that ideas are really flowing and more communication is being generated all around.

I saw the rooms in very vivid detail so the reason I saw the living room & master bedroom this way is because this is what I do for a living. I design homes. Everything centered around this house - around my design. Then finally I discover (that in my own room) there are many people bustling around and are even having a 'brainstorming' session.

So to wrap all this together, Ideas (creating, designing) are flowing like crazy all around me. My designs are the center of where all this is happening and there are people waiting to brainstorm with me. To create new ideas and have them flow all around.

Funny enough - or maybe this is why I am interpreting the dream this way - is that I just resolved to take my design ideas and spread them a round. I just created new opportunities to share them with people around other countries and share my ideas for luxurious living. Creating spaces that inspire and surrounds the occupants with luxurious environments to fill their souls.

There was one part that seemed off. When I left the room, I returned to a spray-painted door (ruined beautiful mahogany door) dripping on the bamboo floor; the room layout was off; no birds in the room and only brown coiled worms.

So this seems to be a word of caution in the message.

To me this means to keep my eye on the ideas. Keep them flowing & don't get distracted by the 'brown worms.' Not worry or get too focused on proving ("evidence") of anything to anybody. Just do it as my heart tells me so and for the fulfillment of people's soul. Stepping up and being 'the art director' they are waiting for, will ultimately be the fullest expression of who I am and will fill my soul.

Visitaion : #15 Confirmed

Today my wife got a call that Julito passed away. This confirms the premonition I had on the 15th.

We went to visit the family & when we got there I got the confirmation of my visitation dream. The family was at peace & they were complete with the way Julito passed away. They were not crying over the loss, but were praising God for not letting him suffer and live in a long vegetated state.

Luis even shared with us that 10 years ago, Julito got ill and was ready to die. Luis' son was about to be born & Luis asked God to keep Julito around a little while longer so that he can be with his grandson. He thanked God for the additional time Julito had to spend with the family & the grandson.

They were now OK with him passing and the time had come for him to be with God. They were OK because in their eyes God had given them a sign at the hospital. A flock of pigeons started gathered outside his hospital room window the evening that he was taken to Hospice. Grays on one side, whites on another & a reddish one in the middle. Even the nurses commented on how odd that was. They've never seen the birds before today.

This was the case for a few days. But on the day Julito was to pass, the birds flew away an hour after his passing.

Visitation : #15 Another Active Dream Night

Another active dream night! Let me rephrase that... They are all active, but this night was really impactful and is visitation 15. So to go right into the dream:

I'm standing there waiting for my seminar to start. I am nervously rubbing my hands when somebody comes up to me. "Linda needs to see you right away" he says, pointing down the hall towards the end of the building where the gymnasium is located. "Right now?" I question. "Yes, In the gym. It's urgent!"

OK, so I head down the hallway, passed the double fire doors with the tiny wire-mesh glass that only gives you a glimpse of what's on the other side. I push the gray doors which seem to weight heavy to the touch. I have to push even harder just to get them to open. Once on the other side, I walk into the tiny vestibule of the gymnasium. There is nobody here so I look around to get a clue. The room is small with a low acoustical ceiling and with only two sets of doors. The choice is clear. To the right, a single narrow door leading into the coaches office, but straight ahead is a double set of doors that I assume will lead me into the gym.

I push them open and walk into a large, white, voluminous room. Everywhere there is equipment lining up the wall. Straight ahead there is a basketball hoop. To the right at the end of the room seems to be the only clear line of path. Except that its just an edge that seems to drop off. I walk over to the edge, looking for a ladder or stairs down, but none that I can find.

No way down but a slatted wall, that seems to be like a stacked set of red 'p-leather' bleachers. I am at the top of these bleachers & scaling them seems like the only way down. Down below I hear people, so it can't be that bad of a climb down.

I climb down & when I get there, I see a guy & two ladies. I know them! the figures don't look like them, but I know it's them. The guy is on the left side of this lower gym, somewhat in the distance, with his back towards me. I walk towards him and for every step I take he seems to get further away from me. I call his name to which he responds by turning his head. He looks at me in the eye & then looks away.

The older lady is on the far right corner, almost frozen with a bluish, gray parka. Definitely does not seem approachable. The younger girl is on the near right coming out of this darkened hallway. She is wearing a pale yellow knee length hooded parka. You know the kind - fur rim around the hood, wrists and hem. This one was dingy looking though. As if she has fallen in some rough, slushy puddle and splashed around in it for a while.

"Hi..." she looks up and makes eye contact for a nanosecond. Drops her sad, watery eyes and quickly dashes by me as if she did not know me. Everything seems strange - off you know...

I walk into the darkened hallway and to my surprise, there's Linda & Gladys. They have their backs to me & are talking to a man, seated on the bench. He is tall looking, with a dark blue rain coat and a clean shaven head. He looks up at me and I see a thick mustache. He looks like an agent from an insurance company or collection agency. Anyway, Linda notices him looking up and turns around. "Pablo,.... Um, this gentleman, ah... is looking for you!" Linda says startled but with a sad puppy dog look in her eyes. "What is going on?" I question. Linda steps back and almost bangs into the louvered doors. "He's asking about your Range Rover!"

"Mr Solis, can you tell me the vehicle's mileage the last time you drove it?" he questions with a serious look on his face. "What?... I guess its around 103,500... Why?" I question back, puzzled at such an odd question. "Could it be 103,597??" He asks.

"What the hell is this about?" I yell back, feeling extremely frustrated now, and not knowing why, slightly concerned. "Please step into the next room, Mr Solis... please?"

Now I am really concerned! "What is going on?" I insisted. "Please step into the next room..."

I walk into this bright, white hallway that opens up to a even whiter & brighter room with tiled walls and floor. To the right there is a empty steel table on the side. The room looks like a morgue and now with that chill running down my back, feels like one too. As I stepped into the room, there is a cold steel table with a lumpy, blue hospital sheet. I am shocked! there is a body under that sheet! it is a long, heavy looking person. The only part of the body I can see is the forehead and the bluish-gray hair on a large head. By the look of the hairline, I can tell that it's an older man.

I don't know who that can be, so I don't react in any kind of way to seeing a dead body under a sheet. It almost seems like I'm watching a TV horror show. I was very detached to what I was seeing until I step forward some more. There, in another table is a small body laying face down, not covered by a sheet and fully dressed in a black Tuxedo. I can see the patented leather shoes, the white socks and the velvet stripe down the leg of the pant. The lower torso is detached from the bottom of the jacket. Now that hit me hard! This is a little boy...

I keep scanning up the body in a slow-motion pace. The jacket is wet, and the hands are still red. I can see water droplets dripping out the tip of the hands. "Hey I recognize that hand!!" I screamed! "What the hell is going on...." The next thing I see is the head. It is severed just below the hair line. The head is full of beautiful black hair. Long, nicely combed back and gelled. The hair is parted in the middle just like.....

"No fucking way - it can't be!!" The head is turned slightly sideways & I saw that profile...

"AAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Nooooooo way!! God no this can't beeeeeeeee!!!" Not my son!!!

I scream and fall to the ground in the disbelief. "Noooo! This can't be... why didn't anybody warn me that this was the horror I am to witness..."

Things seems to fade away for what felt like hours. Finally when I became aware of where I am, I find that I am sitting up, with my head in my hands and my elbows on my knees. I am crying so much that the tears seem to have dried out. I look up and I see Linda and the bald-headed agent standing there. For a second I draw a blank, then the horror of the moment hits me. I jump to my feet and turn the severed head over. The eyes are both wide open and I see that he has blue eyes. "That's not my boy!! My son has brown eyes, so that is most definitely not him!!!!"

I run screaming of joy that it's not my boy. I run out of that building and run home to be with my son.

---

Now my interpretation of this dream:

First I woke myself up from the dream several times because I, obviously, did not like what I was seeing. I woke up crying my head off and feeling like my heart has been ripped out! I woke myself up to make sure this was not real. Real it did feel! The pain and anguish I felt still hits me hard.

But from past experience, I know I am dreaming and this is just a visitation. Lately the visitations have been gruesome ... So of course it looks like this. Now if you are a first time reader, this may sound cold & heartless, but if you've been reading my other posts you will see that this is like visitation 15, 16 or so. So it is no news to me that I would have this kind of dream.

I now know that It is telling me of an upcoming event that looks nothing like this. So I must take it for what it is not what it looks like or feels like.

I know that I need to analyze that dream in order to understand that message: The first thing that hits me is the repetition of the number three (3). 3 sets of doors (2/1); 3 areas - the gym, lower gym & then the morgue - (2/1). The three persons I knew in the lower gym (2 female/1 male)and then the three people in the darkened hallway (2 female/1 male). Waking into the morgue there are 3 steel tables. Again 2 occupied/1 not. Even the boy's body was in three parts.

Also the colors I saw were 3 (red, yellow & blue) - Even the gray things I saw were in 3 shades. So what does this pattern tell me?

In Numerology number 3: socially active, artistic, very positive and optimistic, playful, happy and fun-loving, inspirational, imaginative, motivating, enthusiastic and uplifting.

In Dream Interpretation the number 3 may symbolize completeness and fulfillment - for example, the resolving of conflict between two opposing psychic forces.

In Christianity: 3 is the number of the Holy Father, Son & Holy Spirit. It is completeness of who God is.

Next symbolism: It was very odd seeing, what at first I thought was my son. And then ultimately realizing that it wasn't him. This leads me to believe that it will be a family member, but not an immediate member, like my wife or son.

The gray hair is another big hint. It tells me its a male. The forehead and the gray hair, but not being able to see the face keeps it as a distant relative.

OK who do I know that is fun-loving, socially active, & uplifting distant relative. One that is currently ill?? Even making his way in life to be complete. The only person I know of is... Julito.

I pray : dear God, please keep his soul & allow him to leave this world complete. I pray that his family, left behind, is also complete and at peace with his parting. May his journey be one of peace & that he rejoice in your love.

Hiding Out

"There, by sharing something, I realized that I'm not alone, that there is a lot of people that share with me the same preoccupations, the same ideas, the same ideals, and the same quest for a meaning for this life."
-- Paulo Coelho

It's been a few months since I've written any posts here. Let me rephrase that - I have written them, they're there, but they sit there unpublished - just waiting for me to push the 'publish' button. So now I have lots of 'draft' posts just sitting - in bold red - there waiting to be posted.

Waiting for what, I don't know...

"You are selfish!" is what my friend Beatrice yelled at me when I shared with her what I have been doing. "Share yourself, anyway! Don't hide behind the Vail..." is what she said as she nudged my shoulder.

So here I am sharing myself. The posts have mostly been about SM, and another visitation that culminated this week, when my aunt Olga passed away. The 'Vail' I was hiding behind is that they hit too close to home. I was afraid of sharing - didn't even share it with my wife.

But isn't that why I started this blog - to share my experiences - no matter what my 'little voice' has to say about it.

So for the next day or two I will be 'publishing' my posts with their original dates. Sorry if the feed is out of order.

Be Still & All Will Be Revealed

Be still, and know that I am God!...”
-- Psalm 46:10

It is in the stillness that all is revealed.

Wow, last night was another crazy dream night. The theme from the previous night is the same (women surrendering themselves to their demise) but this time it was more graphic and in black and white.

In this dream, three women approach three stalls and surrender themselves to the execution. each one pulls up the skirt just above the knee and kneels down. On her knees, she crawls into the stall (scraping her knees) to be beheaded. Two of them are way inside the stall and I am spared seeing the beheading. But the third is half-way out and I get a full view of the brutality of a failed beheading.

Now I gotta warn you, this section is where it gets quite graphic! so I have hidden this paragraph. click to expand & read this...

This woman is kneeling and asking for the executioner to get started. He weals not an ax, but a pick, and smacks it into the crown of her head. This does not do the deed and he goes to pull it out. She demands that he does not take it out. He is yanking at it and her head is being pulled with every yank. This looks and feels, to me, so extremely painful, but she complains not. He could actually release the agony, but she refuses.

Next, another executioner comes and she demands of him to complete the execution, while the first guy is still doing his yanking. He weals a very heavy sword at her neck and again it fails. The sword is carving away at the skin on the back of her neck, peeling back the skin and exposing the bone. Ultimately, she dies from the wounds and she could have gone without the added suffering.

I came back and added the graphic content because I feel that it is relevant to what occurred this week. It is what was in my dream and it was there for a reason. Sorry if you do not agree with me adding it - but I did warn you!

---

After witnessing that level of brutality, I must call on God’s light to enter my heart and provide clarity. This is where “be still” fits in perfectly. In the mist of the graphic nature, there is a message. I am upset with myself for having these dreams. Yes, they are graphic! I sometimes even question the morbid sense of the dream. So this is where I need to draw on my inner strength and not go into the 'make wrong' aspect.

I can’t “be still” if I'm fretting about or questioning whether this is right or wrong - based on my earthly morals & convictions. I must trust and be humble so that I would be usable in His hand - after all, this isn’t for me but for His purpose.

I just simply need to “be still.” There is a message yet to be revealed.

Seeking out Inspiration

Wanted to share some quotes that have inspired me today. Inspiration comes not from waiting for it to show, but from seeking it out. Today I seek out inspiration and am inspired by what showed up.

A few quotes by Alphonse de Lamartine...

1. "A conscience without God is like a court without a judge."


2. "Experience is the only prophecy of wise men."


3. "Habit with it's iron sinews, clasps us and leads us day by day."


4. "Limited in his nature, infinite in his desire, man is a fallen god who remembers heaven."


5. "Poets and heroes are of the same race, the latter do what the former conceive."


6. "Private passions tire and exhaust themselves, public ones never."


7. "Providence conceals itself in the details of human affairs, but becomes unveiled in the generalities of history."


8. "Sometimes, only one person is missing, and the whole world seems depopulated."


9. "The people only understand what they can feel; the only orators that can affect them are those who move them."


But my most favorite of all...


10. "To love for the sake of being loved is human, but to love for the sake of loving is angelic."

So what I am inspired by is that I can be larger then I know myself to be. I aspire to be infinite in my desires and be closer to God in my actions. I can love for love's sake...

What is the Message...

This morning I woke up from another vivid dream. I had been dreaming about SM & I was having a conversation with him as to why I saw him the way I did. In the dream SM never seemed to be interested in answering what I wanted to know, it was almost as if he would only explain what his purpose was. He explained that he wants his wife, TR, to know that everything is going to be OK. That his passing is as has to be & that there is nothing wrong.

See SM & TR were newlyweds and at the time of his passing they were only married 6-8 months. Of course loosing her newlywed husband is a tragic experience for TR & I asked SM "How am I going to tell her in the mist of this grief?"

SM replied "don't worry she will contact you when it's time!" This kind of gave me a sigh of relief - since I didn't have to find the right moment to tell her.

When I awoke from the dream I felt a great sense of peace & tranquility. See on the day of the accident I went down to see TR and I was there consoling her for a few hours. I knew I had to tell her how I saw SM, but did not dare. I was there for her & I had to consider what her needs were. She cried a lot and kept saying "what am I going to do without SM?"

Then during the funeral services I was holding back the urge to blurt out what I knew. I felt guilty, all that time, that I knew something & said nothing. The funeral service was gigantic - it was not the appropriate time to tell her this! Hundreds of people were there and hundreds more could not be. See SM was a powerful man & he contributed to so many people around the world. He was bigger then life & bigger then I even imagined.

Condolences poured in from all over the world. There even was a conference call for all the people that knew SM, and could be at funeral, to express who SM was for them. Interesting enough there more then 100 persons on the call. People from India, Japan, Australia and even New Zealand. That is how big his presence is in this world.

Now, with this vivid dream, I am at ease knowing that my gut feelings are confirmed - it was not the right time to tell her.

It's funny, most people (or at least the myths & tv movies) believe that 'ghosts' have unfinished business, that is why they hang around. But from my experiences, it is not them - but us - the living who keep them from crossing over. They are complete & it is time for them to go, but we have a hard time letting go. We call them back to this realm.

So anyway, the message that SM wanted TR to know, is that because of her, he can go complete. She fulfills and completes what was not there for him. It was her love for him that allowed him to be fulfilled.

Having been loved and being 'love' was important for him in order to complete.

Perception is Key

For the last few days I've been wondering why SM's visitation was so different. I've never experienced a spirit present itself like that. In the past they show up in my dreams - never in real life.

But in analyzing this visitation, what I saw that was different is only how I choose to pereceive it. See in the previous visits I've choosen to call then dreams or visions, never choosing to consider them to be my reality. I guess you could say that I was in denial that this is my gift. But SM's visitation was real!

I realized that this is not the first time that the spirit presents itself in a phusical way during waking moments. For example Valmi's Visit was a light energy (aura) in the corner of my room.

Im my mother-in-law's visit, the spirit was a physical breeze and the scent of her favorite flower, the violet, showing up in the middle of the day.

So SM's visit, what I experienced was a light energy.

I'm starting to accept that it will present itself in so many different unexpected ways. What there is to do - just accept it!

Shine On You Crazy Diamond

The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the 'all seeing eye' pierces through, and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind couldn't detect.
--Mark Twain

Today I got really bad news. SM, a friend & mentor passed away! He is a powerhouse & an inspiration for me and many other people with whom he had contact. I could not accept this news so I called a friend we had in common and I asked her... "Tell me it isn't so!"

She replied "I can't do that - it is so..."

This news hit me extremely hard & I broke down and cried. I don't know why it hit me so hard. Maybe because I just saw him last night. Or maybe because it confirmed what I knew last night. I knew he was leaving.

You've heard of the expression "The eyes are the windows of the soul.." Well last night, SM's soul was exiting out thru his windows! His soul would no longer be contained within the smallness of his human package and the light could not be contained. A bright light started emanating from his collar, his eyes and from the top of his head. I knew last night, in the middle of the event, that SM's soul was departing but i did not want to acknowledge it.

SM shined last night, both literally & figuratively. See he managed the production of the event and was in charge of anything that happened with the facility and equipment. Well both the facility and the equipment acted up and of course SM took care of it. The evening was his and he shined. And I had the great honor to see him shine.

First when the lights started to flicker, SM runs out the door to manage it. I was sitting in the front row & saw his light leaving for the first time. I tried connecting with his eyes but could not see them. The light was more like a dim glow & some glare on his glasses. The building lights flickered, then shut off and then a few minutes latter they came on. When SM walked back in, he looked normal so I thought nothing of it.

Then the lights decided to alternate - one row on & nothing else, then another section & nothing else. Again SM left the room & again I tried to connect with his eyes. The glare was much stronger and looked like it was spilling around the rim. When he came back in, he looked normal again.

The third event was the building's fire alarm going off. this time it was a strong and beautiful light. I could see the light emanating from his eyes and reflected off his glasses. It was so consistent that it blocked me from seeing his eyes. All I could see is a shine around his eyes, a reflected back image on the lens and a halo around his head. Wow!

Finally, at the end of the evening SM & his crew were called to the front to be acknowledged and in that moment, before he stood up, the halo pulled off towards the ceiling. The glow left him. He was now complete as he was being acknowledged. He was free to go and left completely fulfilled.

Within hours his body completed it's purpose and at 10:15pm, SM was no longer on this earth. That evening SM's life was completed in a fatal car accident. He went on to shine on out in the universe...

He was an amazing powerhouse & a beautiful soul shining and giving love to everyone he met. Shine on you crazy diamond...

A Change Gonna Come...

Be the change you wish to see in the world!"
- Mahatma Ghandi

Times are changing and lately it seems like they've being changing daily!

Most of us are not used to drastic changes happening so quickly. The stock market's ebbs & flows no longer with the calmness of a backwoods river but lately it seems to come with the force of a hurricane.

From day to day the stock market deals with 500-600 points dips or gains. Every other day we hear of new record lows at the closing bell. 401k's, retirement plans, saving are all dwindling down to nothing. People are losing their homes in record numbers.

In the last couple of months the price of gas has gone from $4.65 per gallon to $1.87. Many major retailers are closing their stores and every large industry is now begging to get bailed out. Changes seems to be erratic but most of all change seems to be eminent.

Most of us (including me) deal with change as an unknown and fear it. We see it as a stranger and hide from it, avoid it, and worst of all resist it!

So what is there to do??

Embrace it - Am I crazy!! - What did you say embrace it??

Yes! Change is the only real constant in life and as such there is no avoiding it. But there is no fearing it too! I can adapt to respond to the change. Now the next question that shows up in my head is "What do I have to change when its' the world that is in disarray? I'm just being affected by it. It's not up to me."

Well the first thing that I say needs changing is THAT! Being resigned to the idea that it's beyond my control. This mindset only leaves me as a victim of my circumstances.

Second thing that I can change is the way that I approach life. Instead of living a life of "expectation" I can come from a world on "Intention." So for example: I've been griping that the government is violation our civil liberties and our right to freedom. I expect these to be my God-given gifts and I expect the government to grant them to me. I would rather be creating an intention of being free and at peace AND being in action to make that exist.

Third, and the most important is seeing myself as part of a bigger picture. Right now in this country, most of us live an individualistic life. We consider ourselves separate from one another and seperate from Source, God, Allah-Blessed be His name (I'll call them all collectively as God). In this way of thinking, then the things that happen to me are BIG and MY circumstances do seem to be overwhelming and difficult to deal with.

But if I see myself as one with one another, then I can see that all of us are going thru some kind of change - TOGETHER. If I am one with God, then I can see that my problems are nothing and so tiny for God's hands.

By seeing it this way I am no longer a slave to the ebbs & flows of my circumstances. I am free and at peace to be me and to be the greatness that God intended for me. But most of all I am free to do something about it!

Neale Donald Walsch on his blog says it beautifully.

There's no reason to hang out in uncertainty or apprehension or fear about the future... Learn how to use change as the greatest thing that has ever happened to you, and how to embrace loss as not loss at all, but gain."

This, in my opinion, is the only real way to deal with change. So I invite you to try it on and see how it fits for you and accept the flow of life.

Mystic Journey (Cont.)

So finally crossing this soggy bog, I am now free to find my home in the country.

Waiting there for me is my family.

The days pass and finally I reach my home. As I approach the house, I feel this energy field that is different that anything I've ever experienced before.

The background glows bright and the air is thick with a mist. The house glows as well and almost seems to be floating. This gives me a very ethereal feeling.

I find myself standing outside and unable to enter. Almost as if I'm standing at the window between this world and the other. She stands at the window and waits for me to approach. The space between us is as intangible as air yet so real that I can almost reach over that threshold and hold her hand. But this I will never do.

We talk for a while and she completes the conversation by saying "You must go! This time and space is no longer your home. It can no longer be yours. Return to your new home."

I feel a warm, internal heat filling my body and my feet no longer touch the ground. She smiles at me and I feel a sense of joy and peace flowing from her. Her peace fills my soul and I realize that she is right. I am no longer of that time and space.

"Valhalla... I am coming."

---

This dream comes full circle. In the First Part I do not accept the fact that I am at Valhalla. In the second part, I try to escape the inevitable outcome and run thru the clearing back across the River Styx crossing over the valley.

Now in the third part, I find her. She enlightens me of where I am and that I have crossed an ethereal plane thru which I cannot return. Her peace shows me that it is OK to return to my place as one of the chosen ones at Valhalla.

How does this relate to my present day reality? First I love mythology & Led Zeppelin therefore that symbolism. Well I have been living in the past. I have been mourning for over 8 years and that has kept me from continuing on my path. Now it is time to complete that. I have allowed the loss of my mother, my father-in-law, my mother-in-law, Pedro, Jennifer, Baby Grace and several others to eat away at who I am. I have allowed parts of me to die with them. I have lost vitality, passion for life and have dwelled in sadness for too long. Lamenting the past will not let me move forward.

Today the light at the clearing is filling me with peace. Today I am committed to living a life that is full of Passion, Love and most of all Joyfulness. This is what I choose to live this day forward.

Mystic Journey

Last night I had a very interesting dream. The dream was very vivid, almost lucid and most definitely sequential. A lot like my Bella Mercedes dream, this is definitely an Epic-type Dream. The dream was spread out thru several different moments from which I felt like I woke up several times during the night. As I fell asleep again, the dream would just pickup where I left off last. Also the dream was accompanied by several songs.

The dream started with me riding my horse thru the Nordic countryside. I see myself as a lone horseman from Scandinavian folklore in a hurry to complete my journey from the end of a battle. Like Led Zeppelin's song says: "Valhalla, I am coming..." (MP3) I felt lost in this forest for what seemed like months. Finally, out of the corner of my eye, I see light coming from a clearing in the distance. I make my way towards the clearing and the imagery, sounds and environment change.

The feeling I got in this part of the dream is a Celtic mysticism. The music running in my head still feels like Led Zeppelin-esque (MP3)

At the edge of the clearing I see a beautifully lush valley. I am no longer on horse back and I find myself walking. I am now wearing soft leather-laced sandals. Walking for what felt like hours, I must complete crossing this valley and I reach the edge of a river. I see myself dipping my feet into the river, stepping on moss covered rocks.

This time instead of running towards something, I find myself running away from something. There is a strong need to cross the river but I must rest for the night. Tomorrow will be another way.

The morning mist is laying very low, kissing the top of the trees. Dew dripping from the tips of soft, large leaves drips onto my forehead and wakes me. Softly the sun rises to light up the day.

Waking to a new dawn, I must complete my journey. Now I find myself to be a Greek soldier. The cold water of the river running between my legs is forceful and I struggle to keep my balance. "I must cross and must reach the other side."

On the other side of the river is a marshy area. Foggy and slippery, this bog I must cross.

On the other side I will find my home. Finally I can rest.

To be continued...

---

This dream is full of imagery, mixed mythologies and dark undertones. It is gigantic in the story it is trying to tell me and so vivid that - awake - I can still see the images. In the first part I am a Nordic warrior on a journey to (what in the song is called) Valhalla. ("In Norse mythology, Valhalla is a majestic, enormous hall located in Asgard, ruled over by the god Odin. Chosen by Odin, those that die in combat travel to Valhalla upon death, led by the Valkyries." - Wikipedia). At the end of battle I return, as a chosen one, to Valhalla. But being "lost in this forest" I feel like I do not belong there.

Therefore in the second part I travel to the end of the dark forest to the light of the "clearing" running away from death to the valley where my home is.

Waiting for the next day "There is a strong need to cross the river but I must rest for the night." So why am I now a Greek soldier waiting for darkness to be over to cross the river? Well in Greek mythology - the transcending from one world to the other is reprensented by the crossing of the River Styx. By crossing back across the river I am trying to escape darkness and am now trying to embrace my previous life.

Now onto the next part... (see next post)

Grandeur of our Universe

I just got a glimpse of the real grandeur of the universe and the immensity of God. How large & magnificent can the Creator be to have made the universe.

A few weeks back my son & I were walking around the neighborhood & my son saw a red ant hill. He runs over to it, takes a stick & goes to destroy the ant hill. I stop him and tell him to leave the ants alone. I remember imaging an ant looking up and being overwhelmed by the shear size of my son in relationship to theirs.

So today I got a feeling of what the ants might have visualized.

The perspective of our place on earth. I am one person in, a small town in the state of Florida, in the best country on earth. Now imagine the U.S.A. in relationship to the mass of the earth. Then the relationship of the earth to the sun (that's the earth on the lower right side), the third rock from the Sun. Then just picture our solar system compared to our galaxy and the size of our galaxy compared with the universe.

Yes, I know this is actually old news - and yes any grade school science student knows that. The science is elementary, so I won't go there - What I want to discuss is something bigger, more magnificent - so just hang on & ride it out with me...

Imagine the grandeur of a Creator that can conceive all of this!

Our Earth is really tiny compared to the sun. This is enough to leave me in awe! but I want you to know that our sun is only an ordinary star, classified as a dwarf star. There are more than 100 million such stars in our galaxy.

If our Sun is a dwarf then imagine the size of a Giant star! A typical one is about the size of the Earth's orbit around the Sun. Now picture a star even larger! so large that "Giant" is not enough to describe it. The scientists had to come up with a name like "SuperGiant."

A star that fits this description is Betelgeuse (More...)

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Betelgeuse is the tenth brightest star in the sky. It sits at the base of Orion’s right arm.

Orange Betelgeuse is cooler than our Sun, but its diameter is 700 times that of our Sun.

This "superGiant" can outshine the sun by over a million times. These are very massive stars seen just before they supernova.

---

So in comparison, imagine the size of a creator that can conceive Betelgeuse as only one in a million NO billions of stars.

That little white spec on the lower left side, under Antares, is our sun. WOW I feel so small!

That is nothing! Check out the next step and the greatness of our Creator.

Yes Betelgeuse is thousands of times larger then our sun. So large that our Sun is barely a spec next to Betelgeuse, but imagine even bigger stars!

How about a star so large that 'Super' is not enough to describe it. It is classified as a 'HyperGiant.'

Imagine a star that is 2100 times larger then our Sun. VY Canis Majoris (More...) is such a star.

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VY Canis Majoris is called a HyperGiant because of its very high luminosity.

"A typical red supergiant phase lasts about 500,000 years. A massive star becomes a red supergiant near the end of its life, when it exhausts the hydrogen fuel at its core. As the core contracts under gravity, the outer layers expand, the star gets 100 times larger, and it begins to lose mass at a higher rate.

VY Canis Majoris is the largest known star and also one of the most luminous known. It is located about 5,000 light-years from Earth in a constellation called Canis Major. VY Canis Majoris is only one of the HyperGiants that makes up this constellation known as one of the dogs following Orion the hunter.

VY Canis Majoris has probably already shed about half of its mass, and it will eventually explode as a supernova." - hubblesite.com

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This really leaves me in awe!

Our sun is but a pixel next to this giant. Can you imagine the vastness of the universe where this HyperGiant exists only as one piece of a giant constellation!?

Now imagine a creator that can conceive of all of this.

He is so grand that we as humans cannot even fathom this greatness. He is all, sees all and is omnipresent, even with us.

So grand that anything we conceive as a 'BIG' concern, issue or problem is minuscule compared to the greatness of God. By this I mean that anything and everything is do-able for God! Nothing is a 'big problem' for him and the vastness of His compassion can help us with our BIGGEST problem.

Think of this the next time that you are dealing with the 'problems' of life:

"Don't tell God how big your problems are...tell your problems how big God is."

Give them all to God and surrender to His greatness. I ask you to accept His generosity, compassion and His LOVE. His love is bigger then anything we can ever imagine!

---

Here is the whole thing for a complete perspective.

Releasing Emotional Toxins

Dr. Deepak Chopra
speaks of the seven steps for releasing emotional toxins.

Courtesy of lime.com

Weddings, Funerals & Baptisms

I was reading Redondowriter's blog today. She said something that struck me!

Both my husband and I were extremely active in this parish until we separated in 1984. In 1987 I moved and only go back now for weddings, funerals and baptisms. The years fell away..."

Her post was about spirituality and faith. I don't know why this stuck so deeply, they are only words expressing a moment in time. But maybe because it seems to be an impactful moment in her life, that it became impactful for me. So I started to look at it a little deeper. I instantly got a flashback - sort of a stream of consciousness started to flow thru me.

When I was growing up my father was very religion-oriented. Any activity we did was church related or had to do with religion. I remember the one time he would let us go to the movies. Very unusual - he was even excited about a movie opening. It was in the early 70's, at the re-release of The Ten Commandments. He was so excited! We got to the movie theater early, waited in line for hours and this was on a Friday night - after sunset, no less.

What's the point? Her post (not necessarily what she was referring to - but the mere fact that it was posted for me to read) was a catalyst for a moment of clarity in my life. That is, that because of conditions of my life, I've used my dad's commitment to religion to separate myself from the church. Allowed it not to be a part of me anymore - only returning for - weddings, funerals & baptisms...

Every day I observe someone, some situation, some place and I['m]comforted, connected. I've had a spring resurgence of sacred ordinary."

I am experiencing that spring resurgence. My spirituality keeps calling me. I've come to the realization that I'm connected to a stream of consciousness (God) that keeps calling - only I've not been listening. The message is clear. It is the return to the truth of life; to the simple cycle that we are connected to:

weddings, funerals & baptisms...
Life, death & rebirth

I too continue to grow-up when it comes to my faith.

Connection to the Divine

True test of being human is just Being.

Human existence w/needs, concerns & desires while still choosing to be connected to the Divine.

So what do I mean by Being? So consider for a moment that at every moment we choose to BE who we say we are. So here's an example of what happened today. Life is not working the way that I want it to right now. The economy is slow & business has dropped of significantly. Bill are adding up & employees need to be paid.

I have a choice of who I am going to be in this circumstance. I can be angry and blame the whole thing on a bad economy. Upset that there is nothing I can do about it. This is perfectly fine and many people would agree with me, but at the end of the day I would be angry, upset, a victim of my circumstances and nothing has happened to improve the situation.

OR

I can choose to be peaceful, in action to change my circumstances, and connected to the power of the Divine (God, source, the universe - call it what you will).

The first option gives me an upset stomach, a nervous twitch & anxiety attacks, all the while feeling disempowered. The second option gives me peace, power and the complete feeling that everything will be alright. No upset stomach & my cardiogram still shows normal.

I choose to BE who I say I am. I get to live another day at peace with my circumstances (I didn't say ignore my responsibilities) but knowing that I am not a victim to them and the money to pay the bills just gets generated.

So who do you choose to BE?

The Legacy of Peace & Unity

I would like to share with you what I've been feeling now that my mother has passed away. I have had the story that I need to be 'strong' for my family. It's been many years that I have not allowed myself to freely show fear, joy, anger, excitement, disappointment, grief - forget being vulnerable! I've dealt with a lot of death in the recent years and I 'had' to be strong. I do not let anyone know that I am fearful of death & that I'm afraid that one day you too will leave me.

When Pipo & Mima died I 'had' to be strong for my wife & son. Mima was ill for many years with Alzheimer's. She no longer knew who her family was. She did not know that she had a daughter, a son-in-law & grandson. I remember the day my wife asked her "I am your daughter, do you remember me?" and Mima replied "I don't have a daughter!" She cried for days! I tried to protect my son from that. What would it feel like for him to hear that she has no clue of who he is. He can't comprehend what is happening to her. I don't know why I did not cry at her funeral - maybe to protect him or actually to protect me from feeling that pain.

When Pipo died, I promised Pipo that I would take care of my family. I promised him that I would not let anything happen to them. The seven months we took care of Pipo in our home, I protected my son from Pipo's hollers of pain. I would create distractions so that he would not have to 'deal' with that & looking back - so that I can escape that pain.

Now fast forward to today. Again I pretended that I would be alright. My 'strong suit' really has me believing that I can deal with the death of mom. All this time I have been 'strong' & I can deal with death. BUT really I was pretending that I am OK. All this time I have been hiding the fact that I am afraid, feel vulnerable & alone. I kept myself busy so that I would not have to see mom wither away like a wilted rose. How that leaves me feeling is closed off from my own feelings.

So when I interact with friends and family, I am really hiding out. Hiding my feelings. I did not want to get too close because you too will leave me & I am going to hurt all over again! I would not tell you about my life, because of the fear that you may find me out or you may judge me. I get the feeling that I leave them in a funk trying to deal with my disconnect. For that I apologize.

So what you can count on from me is that I will be free to express my feelings, will no longer pretend to be strong & will be present to your (& my own) greatness. I promise to be there to hear you and to listen without judgement; I promise that I will be with you when you need me; I promise I will be free to be me.

What I ask of you is that when I leave you in a funk, that you stop and ask me "what just happened?" I know that these promises are big & I may falter sometimes. I ask that you not judge it, but stretch out a hand and help me up. I will not always get it right, but know that I will try.

Tomorrow is mom's funeral service & I do not have to be 'strong' anymore. I do not need to pretend that I have it all together. I will be free to be me and free to be with you.

God has blessed our family with a great mother, but even more so with the legacy she created - a united family.

I love you all.

Another Visitation

A common pattern is showing up in all my visitation experiences. I noticed that I allow the pains of other & their emotions to physically affect me.

For the last week I have been in great pain! It started with a terrible toothache. The pain then shoots right up the root up to the base of my eye socket. I can see it traveling inside my face. The pain shoots up into my eye & then the pain circles my left eye socket. Once it circles then it goes deep into the back of my eye and finally travels back to the front and remains as a mild headache.

This is bizarre - not only because of the imagery - but because I never get headaches. The pain continued for about a week & a half. The only thing that I can think of is of a bad toothache or even to my sinus problems. Any way I went to the doctor & they found nothing that could be the source of that kind of pain.

The week goes by and the pain still persists. I did not count on going to see a relative that is ill. My wife's aunt is ill and is admitted into Hospice. At her bedside I never asked what pains she has, but I notice her face is indented around the left eye. Once I saw her the pain minimized. My cheek was still tender, but the pain disappear! At that moment I put the two together - my pain was related to her. The next day she passed away!

At the funeral I noticed that her eye, the same one where I had the pain - is dark & sunken - as is mine.

After many experiences & visitations I do not believe coincidences to be a 'stroke of chance', but as:

“Coincidence is the word we use when we can't see the levers and pulleys.”
- Emma Bull

"When you live your life with an appreciation of coincidences and their meanings, you connect with the underlying field of infinite possibilities."
-Deepak Chopra

Every Morning...

Imagine every morning waking up and feeling
"I don't want to live another day without my child in my life."

Feeling that on the side of the highway
is where my child left this world.
Alone and hurt,
you left this life to live anew -
free of pain and sorrow.

But waking up, I see your empty bed
and I am preparing your clothes in
boxes ready to go. I drive to work
and see your memorial on the
side of the road and the tears come.

Every morning I feel the rage and anger for
that careless driver who took
your life from me.

Everyday I feel your absence.

But each morning I awake again
and continue to live this life
because I know I must.
God does have bigger plans for me.

I wake up and continue my life because
I don't want yours to be forgotten.
I need to let the world know that you
are a person of significance.

That you mattered - to me!

I need to remember, I need to live!
To be free and laugh again.
I am the only one that can set me free!
And for that I need to learn to forgive.

Forgive them, forgive you, forgive me.

---

This is another dream/visitation that I experienced fully awake. The feelings I got were feelings I have never felt before, but feel them I did. These words came to me early in the morning. I awoke and sat down with the urge to write. These words are not mine and the feelings expressed are not my feelings. I am sobbing with such pain and sorrow as I write these words. The pain and suffering that these words express is running all my emotions and are mine to feel. I am feeling the pain of a parent who has lost a child - though I have not.

At first I reasoned them to be hollow because I have not lost a child so how can I be writing in first person. I even tried to rewrite them from a stranger's perspective & my computer would not have it. So I accepted what was coming to me. Secondly a thought entered my mind for a moment. I always have these premonitions in dreams - so could this be of a future day in my life?? NO not my son!!!! The emotions became horrifying for a second and the pain and sorrow became mine.

Then I got present to where these words were coming from. These words were meant for someone - I don't know who - to read & not for me to keep them in my scrapbook. So I would like to share them with you. I know that I don't know what it is like to lose a child - so maybe these words are really hollow, but I think I got a stranger's glimpse into what a parent might be going thru.

First Visitation - the One

I need to share with you what just happened to me.

I've shared memories from my past, that were previously hidden, but that have been popping up for me. One of them is from Carteret, NJ.

It's Friday night and I'm 12 years old. Dad is gathering us together for the sunset 'culto.' I am running away from him because he just turned off my favorite TV show. I am so mad and cursing at him and at God. Why does dad have to do this to start the Sabbath sunset service.

While I'm waiting, I demand of God that if this really was that important then why isn't he present instead of just a vague, vengeful concept. See I was making God wrong for the way religion was represented to me. I was making him wrong for the way that the SDA religion requires that we deprive ourselves of the 'worldly' pleasures.

At that moment the image of Jesus Christ presented himself as an aura and relayed the message of peace and love to me. My life changed! Ever since then I have received that same message from many persons as they are leaving this earth to be with God.

I always feared getting the message - because of our religious beliefs. The messages always scared me since I was being visited by people as they are leaving their human form and dying. I always took this encounter to mean that I was weird, freaky or ungodly. The SDA religion says that this not of god, so I was not a 'son of God' worthy of his love.

So tonite I became present that God had chosen me to give the message to - but most importantly - to relay that message to others.

So I need to share a breakthru with you. Tonite I created the possibility of "Being the One" accountable for delivering God's message of Love Peace and Fulfilment so the whole world can experience life as One!

I am no longer bound by the fear and vengeful God image that was present to me by my religion. I now know that God is Love. True unconditional Love. Agape love - a love that is overwhelming and over consuming. A Love that takes over and surrounds me completely.

God is love - and all there is, is Love.

This madness is beyond me...

This night the dream started out with a late evening meeting and an angry client in my office. I don't think he's angry with me, but here is where it ended up. The client is on his cell screaming at his competitor. When he gets off the phone he demands from his associate - 'destroy that guy!'

Within minutes I become aware of what he meant by 'destroy.' The guy not only lost his financial life but took what he had left of his life as well. Next, that client destroys the career of one of his associates in front of me simply because the associate did not react fast enough. Now comes a brutal reality. He kills a competitor - in front of me - with his bare hands. The anger, the brutality, the rage, the savagery of killing with his bare hands is the most extreme human act. What is his problem and why is this happening in front of me!?

This anger and madness is beyond me! I don't understand how this can be over something so trivial as a business deal! The deal had nothing to do with me or my office. He was simply sitting in my office at my desk, on the phone doing HIS business deals. Even then the deal had not even gone bad! It just seemed to come from his uncontrollable rage. But it all happened in front of me - in my office- in my world!

I have become a witness to his rage - to his Savagery - his inhuman dark side. All in my office where humanity and civility is the focus of my architecture - a place where a house is conceived to be the nucleus of the family's home. A place where shelter is created. Shelter from this brutal, uncaring world - A place where brutality and Savagery is not supposed to rear it's ugly head.

Brutal contrast - dark irony - disturbing dichotomy!

How can a nice man - always full of energy and complementary nature, have such a dark side - a second face, kept deep in the shadow. Kept deep down inside of him. - So deep, so repressed, that when it surfaced, it exploded with the destructive force of all the volcanic eruptions that mankind has ever experienced. Even a nuclear explosion pales in comparison - only because all this rage came from a little man!

Now he has a foe in me! An enemy that he will not tolerate in his world. I have been transformed from an innocent bystander in my safe world - into an antagonist forcefully thrusted into his world. He now turns his anger towards me. He hunts me down and strikes at the very heart of my life. He has kidnapped my wife and my son and has devised a plan for our demise. He created and placed us into tall, square, wooden boxes that will ultimately become our final resting place. Our new homes - My family's home for the revered-feared afterlife.

The three of us are helpless - me holding my son in my arms, as if I could come close to protecting him from this evil force. And my wife helpless by my side - looking at me as if to say how can this be happening to us?? We are trapped in these boxes as they begin to shoot at us. Suddenly I feel the sting of the bullets as they penetrate my body and soul. I no longer feel the savagery. I no longer feel anything - except my life draining out of my body. The three of us seen to drift away - together - to another existence. An existence beyond these bodies - a place far, far away from this madness we call the human race. We drifted away to the true home that God has created for us - a shelter away from this physical existence - to a serene, peaceful existence as a spiritual part of God.

Next Spring - Again

Do not cry for me
on these last days of winter.
For spring is around the corner
and a new day will come.
Soon the sun will rise
and will sit proud in the sky.
Days will be long and
full of life!

Happy and joyful will be my days
seeing old friends, all over again
so please make winter end
and just let spring -
begin again.

This life has been good
and full of joy,
but the cycle of life
comes for us all

Winter, spring, summer and fall
"It is good" said God to us all,
so, see you around,
my little child,
see you around -
next spring again.

Angel, in Hospice
gets tender care.
His body - frail
and weak again -
sets like the sun in a slow descend.
Little by little his winter ends.

Please God, help Angel -
see spring
again.

Transcend Your Boundaries

See not only with your eyes but with your heart and soul.

Over the last few years, I have watched my mother-in-law get sick and die. Violeta was and is a pure and beautiful soul. I have watched my father-in-law get sick and fight with God for keeping him alive thru all this. Angel is a strong and wonderful soul. His strong temperament is also evident in the way that he fights us when all we are doing is helping him. You would think that all he wants is to be left alone. These events have had a major impact on my life, but the saddest moment of all and the one that hurts the most is watching something in my wife, die. Don't get me wrong, Mercedes is beautiful, young, strong, vibrant and full of life. She is a loving wife. Surprisingly she is still a trusting soul and a caring spirit, but she seems to have lost a piece of herself, a certain - "je ne sais quoi"

Let me explain. Since 1997, my wife has been doing what every child is supposed to do. She has been taking care of her parents in their dying days. She does it with so much love; with so much compassion and with an unwavering dedication - but all at a heavy cost. She was totally devoted to her mother up to the day Violeta past away. And today she is totally devoted to her father - she is by Angel's side everyday - all day - even when he pushes her away and strikes her and makes a tear fall from her eye. It is beautiful to see how God works through her. Her dedication, vigor and love for humanity is undiminished even thought humanity has failed her on many occasions. See, she assumed certain things from humanity. Things that we all take for granted. She was expecting a soothing hand to wipe her tears the day her mother died. She was hoping for a strong shoulder to cry on, the day her spirit faltered. She was praying for the soft voice of a friend to be there the day she realized that she would never again hear her mother's soft voice. But humanity was not there. I guess I am spoiled with all my brother and sisters - they were always there for me and my family. But Mercy is an only child. As such life has a way of getting in the way of our humanity.

Our lives are so full and so busy with things like careers, car pooling, children, and the search for better jobs, bigger houses, and nicer vacations. It is the way life just is! I'm sad to admit that I too was wrapped up in that excuse. I was busy with my career, with paying bills, with raising my son and with fighting with God - questioning how can He let this all happen to such a wonderful soul. I was stuck behind excuses and hiding behind my fear of death. We all do that - we all protect ourselves from the unpleasant. We do not want to see the sick at the hospital, nor want to deal with the smells of death. We do not want to hear the howling cries of the suffering nor the banging sounds of their frustrations. We shelter ourselves from these horror, we shelter our Egos from pain. Yes our Egos don't allow us to deal with soiled diapers, or stool in between Angel's fingertips. Who wants to see this loss of dignity in his eyes. Who wants to deal with turning him every two hours to prevent bed sores. My ego wonders why Mercy & I should have to put up with Angel's illness day after day.

But, let me tell you, Mercy was there day after day without questioning why; without faltering. See we have lost sense of what is really important. Have we forgotten summers spent at grandma's house, holiday meals shared with several generations sitting at the same table. We have forgotten to look up to heaven and realize that we are just small specks in this overwhelming universe. We have forgotten what unconditional love really is. We have forgotten how much of a miracle life really is. Yes we feel the pain of a loved one getting sick & dying. It hurts and we all grieve together with the family, but do we really know what has just happened? Do we really realize that death leaves behind broken hearts and downtrodden spirits. Death not only takes away our loved one, but leaves many wounded in its path of devastation. Do we take the time to see who is left behind and in what condition? I'm sorry to say that life just goes on and tries to deal with tomorrow's problems. The mortgage is due and the cell phone is ringing - gotta go!

Back then, seeing Violeta in the nursing home, I realized how short and precious life really is. See I would see Mercy go to the nursing home every morning and every night, I would see her wash Violeta's tired face with the soap of life - hoping to keep death away from her. I would see Angel go to serve Violeta's breakfast every morning with a plate of love on the side, I would see him serve her lunch with a sprinkle of sunshine and I would see him feed her dinner with an added spice of life - so that she could live another day. To this day Mercy did the same for her dad. At the nursing home, my eyes showed me that this was normal - all families do that - right?? But once my eyes were opened and I took a real look around, this time with my heart and soul, I realized that many residents there are not only love-deprived but are completely forgotten about. I would see old ladies sitting in their chairs all alone and forgotten. Sure daughters & sons would call & ask "how is my mom? Fine? perfect, thank you - gotta go now!" Life has just continued around them. Maybe they made their lives that way, but nobody deserves to die alone and forgotten. Our careers are taking up too much time, the house demand too much attention. Is this excuse really worth it, will your loved ones be there tomorrow when you do find the time?? Or will it, one day, be YOUR children calling the nursing home, in between their busy schedules, to see if you are - fine?

Please make the time now! Take the time now to see around you. See not only with your eyes but with your heart and soul as well. Use your eyes to survey the surface of your existence, but use your heart to really feels the depths of its surroundings. Even better, see the possibility that your soul has the freedom to transcends its boundaries. See your loved ones and feel their day to day struggle, with your soul. Provide a spiritual helping hand to heal the wounded heart. Transcend your boundaries and answer prayers. Even something as simple as showing up at the hospital when you have an hour to spare will help someone who is overwhelmed with the anchor of sorrow and pain. Lifting the load of that anchor, even only for that hour, would do wonders - more than you can ever imagine. Forget your fears and quarks just do it - do it for them. We are all God's family and as such we need to consider each other as brothers and sisters. Transcend your boundaries and feel the possibility of love for your brothers and sisters.

Thank you Lord for never letting us fall far from your side and Lord help Mercy recover from her loses.