Let the Wild Rumpus Start!!!

Inside all of us is Fear...

This is true! With the way the economy is going

Inside all of us is Hope!

I'm Human Too...

i found myself at the foot of the I-95 off ramp & I am debating giving a homeless man some money. I immediately thought he's a wino, a bum - he's going to waste it on whatever BS - I think. So I said God - no judgement. I will give just because.

So the test I gave God was : if the light turns red then I will give him money. If not - then oh well... So of course! the light turns red & I stop. I open the window & call this guy over to give him a buck.

He comes over with a big smile on his face & humbly says thank you. He immediately changed my mood. He also tells me "God bless you" and says that his sign got ruined.

"I need it to tell my story." he adds.

So I asked him what is your story. "I am just a homeless man" he says "you could even call me a bum. I drink, yes I may be a wino, but I am also human. Your dollar will help me to stay alive another day. Thanks Lord."

This was a sobering thought. He was repeating the words I was using to judge him & he reminded that God does listen & talks with us! Only we choose when we want to listen to Him.

Seeking out Inspiration

Wanted to share some quotes that have inspired me today. Inspiration comes not from waiting for it to show, but from seeking it out. Today I seek out inspiration and am inspired by what showed up.

A few quotes by Alphonse de Lamartine...

1. "A conscience without God is like a court without a judge."


2. "Experience is the only prophecy of wise men."


3. "Habit with it's iron sinews, clasps us and leads us day by day."


4. "Limited in his nature, infinite in his desire, man is a fallen god who remembers heaven."


5. "Poets and heroes are of the same race, the latter do what the former conceive."


6. "Private passions tire and exhaust themselves, public ones never."


7. "Providence conceals itself in the details of human affairs, but becomes unveiled in the generalities of history."


8. "Sometimes, only one person is missing, and the whole world seems depopulated."


9. "The people only understand what they can feel; the only orators that can affect them are those who move them."


But my most favorite of all...


10. "To love for the sake of being loved is human, but to love for the sake of loving is angelic."

So what I am inspired by is that I can be larger then I know myself to be. I aspire to be infinite in my desires and be closer to God in my actions. I can love for love's sake...

What is the Message...

This morning I woke up from another vivid dream. I had been dreaming about SM & I was having a conversation with him as to why I saw him the way I did. In the dream SM never seemed to be interested in answering what I wanted to know, it was almost as if he would only explain what his purpose was. He explained that he wants his wife, TR, to know that everything is going to be OK. That his passing is as has to be & that there is nothing wrong.

See SM & TR were newlyweds and at the time of his passing they were only married 6-8 months. Of course loosing her newlywed husband is a tragic experience for TR & I asked SM "How am I going to tell her in the mist of this grief?"

SM replied "don't worry she will contact you when it's time!" This kind of gave me a sigh of relief - since I didn't have to find the right moment to tell her.

When I awoke from the dream I felt a great sense of peace & tranquility. See on the day of the accident I went down to see TR and I was there consoling her for a few hours. I knew I had to tell her how I saw SM, but did not dare. I was there for her & I had to consider what her needs were. She cried a lot and kept saying "what am I going to do without SM?"

Then during the funeral services I was holding back the urge to blurt out what I knew. I felt guilty, all that time, that I knew something & said nothing. The funeral service was gigantic - it was not the appropriate time to tell her this! Hundreds of people were there and hundreds more could not be. See SM was a powerful man & he contributed to so many people around the world. He was bigger then life & bigger then I even imagined.

Condolences poured in from all over the world. There even was a conference call for all the people that knew SM, and could be at funeral, to express who SM was for them. Interesting enough there more then 100 persons on the call. People from India, Japan, Australia and even New Zealand. That is how big his presence is in this world.

Now, with this vivid dream, I am at ease knowing that my gut feelings are confirmed - it was not the right time to tell her.

It's funny, most people (or at least the myths & tv movies) believe that 'ghosts' have unfinished business, that is why they hang around. But from my experiences, it is not them - but us - the living who keep them from crossing over. They are complete & it is time for them to go, but we have a hard time letting go. We call them back to this realm.

So anyway, the message that SM wanted TR to know, is that because of her, he can go complete. She fulfills and completes what was not there for him. It was her love for him that allowed him to be fulfilled.

Having been loved and being 'love' was important for him in order to complete.

The Soul's Purpose

I'm still thinking of SM & his passing. He passed February 8th to be exact. I was working in his group to create an event and in the process of creating the event I learned a lot from him. The event is going to start on the 26th and I wanted to back out, because SM would not be there. But you know what - it would not honor SM if I do back out. So therefore I am moving forward anyway. He would have told me to do that anyway.

There are many things that I will have as a memory of him - thanks SM for the generosity - but one thing that he always said, sticks with me the most...

"We as human beings are always given by the little voice that runs in our heads. Do you want to have an extraordinary life? Well then - thank that little voice for sharing and then get on with the task at hand - fulfilling on our soul's purpose!"

--SM

The task at hand IS fulfilling on our soul's purpose. We are driven to be bigger then we know ourselves to be. We are driven to wonder what else is out there.

The one thing that I allow to stop me is wondering if I can do it.

Well it's time to stop wondering and start living larger then I know myself to be. In the memory of SM, I am getting on with my soul's purpose. And I am taking on being bigger then I know myself to be on this event.

This I do to honor SM's stand and the space he leaves wide open.

Perception is Key

For the last few days I've been wondering why SM's visitation was so different. I've never experienced a spirit present itself like that. In the past they show up in my dreams - never in real life.

But in analyzing this visitation, what I saw that was different is only how I choose to pereceive it. See in the previous visits I've choosen to call then dreams or visions, never choosing to consider them to be my reality. I guess you could say that I was in denial that this is my gift. But SM's visitation was real!

I realized that this is not the first time that the spirit presents itself in a phusical way during waking moments. For example Valmi's Visit was a light energy (aura) in the corner of my room.

Im my mother-in-law's visit, the spirit was a physical breeze and the scent of her favorite flower, the violet, showing up in the middle of the day.

So SM's visit, what I experienced was a light energy.

I'm starting to accept that it will present itself in so many different unexpected ways. What there is to do - just accept it!

A Change Gonna Come...

Be the change you wish to see in the world!"
- Mahatma Ghandi

Times are changing and lately it seems like they've being changing daily!

Most of us are not used to drastic changes happening so quickly. The stock market's ebbs & flows no longer with the calmness of a backwoods river but lately it seems to come with the force of a hurricane.

From day to day the stock market deals with 500-600 points dips or gains. Every other day we hear of new record lows at the closing bell. 401k's, retirement plans, saving are all dwindling down to nothing. People are losing their homes in record numbers.

In the last couple of months the price of gas has gone from $4.65 per gallon to $1.87. Many major retailers are closing their stores and every large industry is now begging to get bailed out. Changes seems to be erratic but most of all change seems to be eminent.

Most of us (including me) deal with change as an unknown and fear it. We see it as a stranger and hide from it, avoid it, and worst of all resist it!

So what is there to do??

Embrace it - Am I crazy!! - What did you say embrace it??

Yes! Change is the only real constant in life and as such there is no avoiding it. But there is no fearing it too! I can adapt to respond to the change. Now the next question that shows up in my head is "What do I have to change when its' the world that is in disarray? I'm just being affected by it. It's not up to me."

Well the first thing that I say needs changing is THAT! Being resigned to the idea that it's beyond my control. This mindset only leaves me as a victim of my circumstances.

Second thing that I can change is the way that I approach life. Instead of living a life of "expectation" I can come from a world on "Intention." So for example: I've been griping that the government is violation our civil liberties and our right to freedom. I expect these to be my God-given gifts and I expect the government to grant them to me. I would rather be creating an intention of being free and at peace AND being in action to make that exist.

Third, and the most important is seeing myself as part of a bigger picture. Right now in this country, most of us live an individualistic life. We consider ourselves separate from one another and seperate from Source, God, Allah-Blessed be His name (I'll call them all collectively as God). In this way of thinking, then the things that happen to me are BIG and MY circumstances do seem to be overwhelming and difficult to deal with.

But if I see myself as one with one another, then I can see that all of us are going thru some kind of change - TOGETHER. If I am one with God, then I can see that my problems are nothing and so tiny for God's hands.

By seeing it this way I am no longer a slave to the ebbs & flows of my circumstances. I am free and at peace to be me and to be the greatness that God intended for me. But most of all I am free to do something about it!

Neale Donald Walsch on his blog says it beautifully.

There's no reason to hang out in uncertainty or apprehension or fear about the future... Learn how to use change as the greatest thing that has ever happened to you, and how to embrace loss as not loss at all, but gain."

This, in my opinion, is the only real way to deal with change. So I invite you to try it on and see how it fits for you and accept the flow of life.

Whose Life Is It Anyway?

Yesterday my wife's car was hit as it was parked next to my house. It just sat there innocently waiting for me to take it for a ride when a young girl sideswiped it and shoved it 5' onto the sidewalk.

Sure enough the car is totalled. Broken rear axle and the front transaxle is also damaged.

Needless to say, the day did not starting out well and it just went south from there.

Two of my work computers freak out and I spent 6 hrs trying to fix them. My office VOIP phone system stopped working - but no worry it will forward to my cell phone.

And today I showed a sign of weakness. I allowed myself to think "Well, it can't get any worse then this." No sooner that the words left my mouth and...

As soon as I said that my cell phone would not work. I leave for a client meeting in a state of disempowerment. What a way to start day two of breakdowns!! On my way, about 2 miles from my destination, my car's air suspension system freaks out! Fu€k!!

"EAS Failure - Warning Do Not Drive Over 35MPH!!" The dashboard kept warning me.

I was in Ft. Lauderdale (more then 40 miles from home) and I find myself like a 'vato' driving my 'low rider machine' and hip-hopping all the way home. I was determined not to let this setback stop me! No way!!

Anyway two hours later, I made it there. I started the trip back pissed and cursing everything and everyone. But I arrived with a smile on my face and a new found peace. As I'm driving and the car hops at every bump, I find myself thinking of a skit on the "Whose Line is it Anyway Show."

Have you seen this show? It stars four comedians who are put into odd situations and they must improvise a skit on the spur of the moment. Not only do they improvise, but they make me laugh at whatever situation they are in. It's really funny to see Colin Mochrie, Drew Carey, Ryan Stiles and Wayne Brady pick up on something unexpected and just play with it.

So I see myself in this disempowered state and I see Colin making believe that he is riding in a car, sitting really low to the ground and his arm resting on the imaginary window ledge. He is going down the road without a care in the world while in the green screen behind him chaos ensues. The dichotomy and contrast is just funny. I can imagine Colin's silly smile when he finally realizes what is happening behind him.

What I saw available for me:

Well I say the question "Whose life is it anyway?" Just because circumstances are NOT what I was expecting in life, it does not mean that it’s time to freak out and let the world fall apart! In fact, it’s an opportunity to deal with the bad things in a way that empowers me.

Sure I have every right to be pissed, angry and overwhelmed - but why?? Yes, bad things happen, but I have the choice of who I am going to be in the face of chaos. Do I let that piss me off and leave me disempowered - OR - to I choose to be empowered no matter the circumstance.

I choose to empower myself and overcome the circumstances! This leaves a space available for me to take action about it anyway.

You Can't Cross the Sea Merely by Standing...

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water."
-Rabindranath Tagore

So this is where I am finding myself lately. Standing at the shores of life looking out to the horizon, waiting to see what the future will bring.

I find that I have let the economy (or should I say - the stories, chatter, news about the state of the economy) dictate that I stay stranded on these shores.

Fear has a way of causing me to be frozen. Forcing myself to seek out new contacts. Join new networks - even look up some old friends and rekindle those friendships.

Action is the only antidote!

Love Now

I have been getting very frustrated with the political/economic environment in this country. The level of fear is incredible! I am concerned by the conspiracy theories, fear-mongering and the doomsday stories that are supposedly out to cause the end of the world as we know it.

The real estate market taking a dump; foreclosures at an all time hi; banks falling apart and failing; the declaration of Marshall Law in the USA.

Did you know that as of Oct 1st Marshall Law was enacted???

The eminent collapse of the Dollar and the possible introduction of the Amero. Have you heard of the Amero? It is the new coinage that will replace the Dollar. It is where our money, investments, 401K's, OUR savings! ALL will be worthless - at best only pennies on the Dollar.

The thought of all this scared the shit out of me! And left me disempowered and in a swirl.

So what is there to do??

Well, just be present to the fact that "Its all a choice between Fear and Love!" When I get overwhelmed with negative stories, I forget that life is just a ride and that I have a choice!

Just listen to this video. Bill Hicks has an explanation to What the Point of our Lives is. It is an inspiring perspective!

It's that simple, someone might even call it simplistic, but I'm standing for it:

"Choose Love. It is and has always been the only answer!"

This is only a ride! We can change it anytime, it's our choice - Fear or Love!

"The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors and buy guns! Close yourself off."

Choosing fear only lets the demons run amok. Fear will lead us to shut ourselves off and hide out.

Here is what we can do to change the world!

Choosing Love will allow us to explore space together (both inner and outer) forever in peace! - The eyes of Love see all of us as One...

Turn off the chatter of the main stream media and....
Choose for yourself!

God Speaks in Unexpected Ways

Believe it or not - yesterday God spoke to me in a way that I would have never imagined. I find myself actually preparing to give God the tithing (the actual 10%) for the first time in more then 20 yrs AND this was not my reality a few hours ago!

I started going to church about 8 months ago and have started praying as well. And for the same number of months I have been asking God to help me resolve outstanding money that people owe me for more then a year. For the past year, I have been pissed off that they do not pay & do not return my phone calls. Well to make a long story short, I finally gave up expecting God to resolve this for me & pissed when he does not reply. I gave up the need to be right (making them wrong) & ultimately I gave up expecting God to solve this for me.

What I really gave up is any attachments to the money, to being right & to needing an answer to my prayers.

The moment I gave this up, I get a call from one of the persons that owes me money. She calls apologizing for letting if go for more then a year & asking me to help them complete their project. Yesterday I met with her & her husband & walked out with a long-overdue check. I even took a chance & contacted the other person as well & sure enough we completed what was outstanding & I walked out with another check.

Now I want you to get that nothing I was doing previously was working (collection calls, nice letters, nasty letters, threats of lawyers, nothing!)

Call it luck, chance, perseverance. What I like to call it is God answering my call, since I was going to hire a lawyer (& paying a 30% fee) to deal with these bad debts today. Sure enough it would have been drawn out even longer & I would have made enemies of them.

So if this is not big/miraculous enough, I am sitting here separating the money. I am figuring what I am giving as tithing (actual 10%), using to pay my own debts & what I have left to pay bills. I take the money for tithing's and fold it up in my pocket. Out loud I ask "so what should I do with Your money, God?" and I hear a voice from the left side, over my shoulder. "Share it!" a voice said. "With whom?" I reply AND in that instant I get a chime from my email that a friend's message arrived. She was replying with a "LOL! [love what you said.]" to another message I sent her.

The reason this is significant is that two days and a few message ago, she very humbly and almost apologetic & embarrassed asked to borrow money. She was about to get kicked out of her apartment & her car repossessed. "No way!" I thought "I don't even have it for my needs." I made believe I didn't get that message. But that was two days ago & today this money shows up when I least expected it.

I'm sitting here feeling bad that I did not reply to her with even a "no-sorry" respond. AND a chime sounded the moment I asked God "with whom to share it with?" But that is what my heart is telling me is right now! Share God's tithings with those in need.

I question myself if I should do this. I have other people whom I owe money to, but I am being drawn to follow the word of God & do his wishes with a part of the tithing I was going to give him. Call this irresponsible, naive, or anything you like, but for the first time in more then 20 years I am closer to God & I am actually feeling in communication with him. So I must do what I feel is right.

Scent of a Woman

It is midnight as I return home.
asleep, I will find her again.
Undressing in the dark, I feel my way
towards the foot of the bed.

Head into the bath readying for bed
Brush my teeth and check the stubble.
As usual, I stare into the mirror to see
the effects of the day.
Today's toils were not so bad after all.

I turn off the bath lights and
walk into the darkness of the room.
I prop up one pillow & set the other
ready to hug it goodnight.

I pull the sheets over my head
and kiss my wife good night.
As I lean forward I smell the
sweet scent of her skin.
And remembered why I love her.

I wish to tell her so this moment.
But alas, it must wait for the dawn.
As tomorrow will be another day.

Knowing What My Wife Responds to

I finally got it thru my thick skull learned what it is that my wife likes and needs when it comes to Love. I learned that all she wants is to be told that she is loved.

That's it!!! I don't know why this works. She already knows that I love her, so why do I have to repeat it over & over again! say it. But 'saying' the actual words is what made all the difference for her.

Once I started telling her how much I love her, her reactions to me became different. The way that I discovered this secret is that while cleaning the house, I ran into a workbook she had from a seminar called The Five Love Language. See one day a long while back she dragged me out invited me to seminar. In this seminar I fell asleep learned that each of us have a language we use to express, but more importantly receive love. I have forgotten about it until now.

Here is an excerpt from the Five Love Languages website:

1. Words of Affirmation : Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” More»

Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.

Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement. Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

2. Quality Time : Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. More»

A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.

Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.

An important aspect of quality conversation is self-revelation. In order for you to communicate with your mate, you must also be in tune with your inner emotions. It is only when you understand your emotions and inner feelings will you then be able to share quality conversation, and quality time with your mate.

Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future.
Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together in a tennis league, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage.

3. Receiving Gifts : Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. More»

If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.

If you want to become an effective gift giver, many mates will have to learn to change their attitude about money. If you are naturally a spender, you will have no trouble buying gifts for your mate. However, a person who is used to investing and saving their money may have a tough time adjusting to the concept of spending money as an expression of love. These people must understand that you are investing the money not in gifts, but in deepening your relationship with your mate.

The gift of self is an important symbol of love. Sometimes all your mate desires is for someone to be there for them, going through the same trials and experiencing the same things. Your body can become a very powerful physical symbol of love.

These gifts need not to come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, if your mate relates to the language of receiving gifts, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.

4. Acts of Service Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. More»

Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Just as Jesus demonstrated when he washed the feet of his disciples, doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.

Very often, both pairs in a couple will speak to the Acts of Service Language. However, it is very important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates. Even though couples are helping each other around the house, couples will still fight because the are unknowingly communicating with each other in two different dialects. For example, a wife may spend her day washing the cars and walking the dog, but if her husband feels that laundry and dishes are a superior necessity, he may feel unloved, despite the fact that his wife did many other chores throughout the day. It is important to learn your mate’s dialect and work hard to understand what acts of service will show your love.

It is important to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment. It’s important to perform these acts out of the kindness of your heart.

Demonstrating the acts of service can mean stepping out of the stereotypes. Acts of service require both mates to humble themselves into doing some chores and services that aren’t usually expected from their gender. However, these little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate, and will ensure a happy relationship.

5. Physical Touch : Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. More»

For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.

Sexual intercourse makes many mates feel secure and loved in a marriage. However, it is only one dialect of physical touch. Many parts of the body are extremely sensitive to stimulation. It is important to discover how your partner not only physically responds but also psychologically responds to these touches.

It is important to learn how your mate speaks the physical touch language. Some touches are irritating and uncomfortable for your mate. Take the time to learn the touches your mate likes. They can be big acts, such as back massages or lovemaking, or little acts such as touches on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder. It’s important to learn how your mate responds to touch. That is how you will make the most of this love language.

All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.

It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.

The Five Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman.

The Five love Languages are how we express love for one another. We may express love using all five, but only two or three actually make us FEEL loved. We need to be loved and are inclined to respond to those specific languages. So to learn what it is that my wife is receptive to is the key to understanding her. If I speak her language, she can actually respond to me.

See in the past I used to caress her. Hold her hand, put my arm on her shoulder, etc. People used to comment on how 'touchy' we were. When I'm standing next to her, I put my hand in the small of her back. When were sleeping I would cuddle with her. This did not make a difference. There were times that she would even complain that my arm is "too heavy" and ask me to back off. So the "Physical Touch' language was not what she wanted.

I even tried putting aside time, in the evenings, to spend with her. I would sit next to her and cringe thru watch her "novelas" (Spanish soaps). This did nothing. She would fall asleep and leave me to watch the novelas alone.

I would bring flowers home for her & she would say "that's nice" and a lot of times it actually made a difference for her. But it really did not hit the spot. Sometimes she would just pickup where the argument left off.

I even reverted to doing the chores around the house. This made matters worse. The way she took this to mean was that I did not think she was doing a 'good enough' job. Psycho Crazy I know, but "Acts of Service" were definitely not the language that she needed.

I realized that my actions did not make a difference because these were all things that I valued as a way to express love. See I need physical affection to feel loved, so I thought that would be what she needs. I don't need my wife telling me that she loves me. This is bizarre! So why would I do that.

So the reason for doing it is simple! It is what she needs and craves. So in order to 'communicate' with her and make her feel loved, I need to speak her language. This may not be easy because as Kerry at His Help Meet puts it - this "does not come naturally to me." I need to make a conscious effort in order to communicate this way.

But it is definitely worth the effort in order to keep our relationship fulfilling for the both of us.

Her Bad Mother's Basement: No Thanks For Being A Friend

Today I have been avoiding a friend of mine. He's called several times and I just did not want to talk with him. I've known him for more then 3 years & today I am feeling like those years were just a waste.

I'm sitting here reading blogs and came across Her Bad Mother's Basement post No Thanks For Being A Friend and it ran me over like a rush hour express train!

I am so pissed off because I feel used by him. He promises big things and never comes through; Always tells me how he has had a major breakthru and that "he is not the same person" anymore, but within days he is back to his old ways. One moment he is powerful & the next he just turns into a disempowering soul & I allow him to disempower me. He is very insecure & vulnerable, but comes across as strong & transformed.

I feel bad for him, since life is not working for him. Work, relationships, finances, even commitments he's made to people are collapsing around him. People are turning their backs on him & kicking him out of their homes, groups & lives. I feel that I am enabling him and feeding his need to be heard - all from the fear that he will see me as just another person who walks away. He is needy & I'm falling into his trap of "poor me, I am being abandoned."

In HerBadMother's post she states "I'm mad at myself for letting you off easy" & that is exactly what I'm feeling. I'm really mad at myself, not him, for not having the courage to put stop this. But the only way I see to stop his crap is to walk away. He does not want to see how he uses people and leaves them worn out.

So all I'm doing is making him wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! And that does not do anything for me or him. This is not empowering! So I am going to stop my rant (stepping down from soapbox now!) & actually see what is really bothering me.

What am I Doing: - complaining, being upset, making him wrong, avoiding him, feeling used, not being responsible for expressing my feelings.
What Do I Have: - wasted time, upset, a friendship that is not fulfilling, lost communication, expectations of how he should respond & do.
Who am I Being that I allow this to continue: - coward, fearful, not a true friend.

So I can definitely see that there is nothing I can do to change him. The only person I can do anything about is me. What can I put in (that is missing for me) to be OK happy & satisfied with our friendship the way it is - and the way it isn't.

So what is missing in who I'm being is : - being empowering for myself! I am taking on being courageous, compassionate and an undaunting stand for him.

This gives me power to stand for myself and for him, but most importantly - it gives me power to not let things continue the way they are & to create something new for both of us.

Blog the Recession

Came across Motherhood Uncensored's blog & she has this great idea for all bloggers to help one another.

Help some bloggers by increasing pageview, contributing to their ad revenue. But an even simpler idea: Getting to know one another, even commenting on each other's posts and helping each other out.

She calls it "Blog the Recession Month."

Her idea is nice & the premise is simple:

If you read blogs, then for the month of August, make the "pledge" to click through from your feed reader. No obligation to leave a hilarious comment or send a long stalkerish email (although both, within reason, are always lovely). Just click through to the blog (not on ads unless you are so led) and if you're feeling generous, click around to their older posts.

Just those extra page views can make a big difference for bloggers who could really use the help...

Pageviews, ad revenue but most important, comments. Comments are always nice to get. It helps me feel like someone is actually visiting & I'm not "sitting here blogging at myself."

I love the idea because it's fun, creates a community with like interests, and most of all allows me to feel like I am contributing something to you.

Welcome & Thanks for coming by...

The Trivia of Life Keeps us from Experiencing our Greatness

I love music! but specially I love the lyrics. I love to understand what the lyrics of songs mean - or at least what the lyrics mean to me.

Here is another song that I like:

I look around at other people
I brush their shoulders at the corner of the street
But all they notice is their feet
It wasn't meant this way
Their minds have gone astray

If they could lift their eyes they'd see
There's people smiling just like me and I'll agree
It's not their fault because it's raining
It's all work and no play, it's just another day

Love and beauty
Love and beauty
Should be everybody's duty
To welcome every man as a friend

I wish that I could change the world
For every boy there'd be a girl for him to know
And maybe people would look up
Then they might realise they're not the only ones alive"

-- Love and Beauty by Mike Pinder of the Moody Blues

"I brush their shoulders..." tells me that he wants to connect/interact with them but they are too self absorbed to notice (all they notice is their feet). What he is describing makes me feel like an elevator moment. You know, that moment of awkward silence where nobody wants to even look into each other's eyes. What are we avoiding? what are we afraid of?

"It's not their fault because it's raining. It's all work and no play, it's just another day..." continues by justifying those actions and giving us permission to keep it just that way. But what we do not realize is that this mechanism is what we all use to keep us from experiencing the greatness of other and our own greatness. We keep ourselves in our shells to avoid the other.

The everyday 'trivia' (as Monty Python calls it in Meaning of Life)is our circumstances, our problems, our human condition, our little voice in our head - that keeps us from experiencing who we really are and keeps us from experiencing the other. We keep ourselves in a state of being that is ordinary - never living our dreams.

We live a life of always wishing that "I could change the world" and the only hope we have is to live with the expectation that the other "might realise they're not the only ones alive."

The "mind fake" of it all is that most of us live our lives like those silent moment in the elevator. No one dares to look up because of the overwhelming subconcious fear that runs us. So therefore no one will ever notice. And if no one notices there is no desire to look up.

This loop of doubt and self-imposed isolation is intended by the 'trivia' to keep us from realizing our greatness. Oblivious to the fact that "Love and Beauty" is all that God has intended for us.

Like my favorite movie, the Matrix, suggest: "Take the red pill, Neo, and I'll show you how deep the rabbit role goes..."

Do you live on in ignorance (and potentially bliss) by taking the blue pill - OR - do you lead what Aristotle called 'the examined life' and take the red pill?"
-- Matrix Philosophy

What do you think? Which pill would you choose?

Detachment is Being Comfortable with the Ambiguities of Life

"Detachment is not a physical thing; it's a mental phenomenon. Attachment could be said to be the same thing as fear and insecurity. Detachment is the same thing as being comfortable with ambiguity and uncertainty, which are facts of life."

- Deepak Chopra

A friend was sharing about his girlfriend and how - even knowing better - she still choose NOT to do what he considers to be the 'right thing.' He shared how when he asked why she would do that, she replied "leave me alone. Let me do what I want to do." He was very upset & just continued to argue with her. He wanted some advise on how to convince her to do what he considered to be the 'right' thing.

I shared with him that people do what they will do and we cannot judge, dictate or even coach them into doing the 'right' thing - when they do not want to hear it. That is a choice they need to reach on their own & we need to be fine with their choice.

He was visibly very upset at her choice & asked me "so what should I do?" I responded "give up your attachment to needing to be right!" He paused for a bit & then said "What the f^*k are you talking about! She is the one not making the right choice. What do you mean - me - giving up my attachment!??"

No matter how much I tried to explain or get him to see that it is him that needs to accept and be detached from the upset, he would not hear of it.

So I shared with him this Zen Buddhist story:

Two monks are walking down a country road when they come upon a river. Suddenly a young girl, partially naked from her struggle with the river, runs up to them. She says, "The river flooded away everything I have and my family is on the other side. Can you help me get across to find them?"

The younger monk is flustered, a naked girl! He felt he needed to avoid the temptations of the flesh. But the older one picks up the naked girl, throws her over his shoulder and walks across the river. When he reaches the shore he puts her down, and without a word, walks on. The younger monk follows, but his mind is not at rest. How could his brother have touched a naked girl?

After a couple of hours he stops his brother and says, "Brother, we are supposed to be above things of the flesh! And yet you picked that girl up and carried her across the river." The older monk replies, "Yes, you're right and when I got to the other side I put her down. You have been carrying her ever since."

The young monk carried the worry and the upset for the sins of the flesh, and could not let it go. He lived with the burden and the anguish of what he considered to be a 'wrong' doing much longer then the older monk did.

I explained the the moral of the story is that worrying of the burden of living into the considerations of right/wrong is more of a burden then the act itself!

Do you think I gave him the right advice?

I see it that the story is the same about everything in our lives. Once something is complete and we have fulfilled it's purpose, we can choose to drop it from our minds. Holding it and wondering and questioning the right/wrong-ness of it ceases us from being who we really are in the moment. There is no reason to look back upon our choices.

What we have chosen to leave in the past ceases to be ours. Let it go & detach your 'self' from it Now & Forever!

Grandeur of our Universe

I just got a glimpse of the real grandeur of the universe and the immensity of God. How large & magnificent can the Creator be to have made the universe.

A few weeks back my son & I were walking around the neighborhood & my son saw a red ant hill. He runs over to it, takes a stick & goes to destroy the ant hill. I stop him and tell him to leave the ants alone. I remember imaging an ant looking up and being overwhelmed by the shear size of my son in relationship to theirs.

So today I got a feeling of what the ants might have visualized.

The perspective of our place on earth. I am one person in, a small town in the state of Florida, in the best country on earth. Now imagine the U.S.A. in relationship to the mass of the earth. Then the relationship of the earth to the sun (that's the earth on the lower right side), the third rock from the Sun. Then just picture our solar system compared to our galaxy and the size of our galaxy compared with the universe.

Yes, I know this is actually old news - and yes any grade school science student knows that. The science is elementary, so I won't go there - What I want to discuss is something bigger, more magnificent - so just hang on & ride it out with me...

Imagine the grandeur of a Creator that can conceive all of this!

Our Earth is really tiny compared to the sun. This is enough to leave me in awe! but I want you to know that our sun is only an ordinary star, classified as a dwarf star. There are more than 100 million such stars in our galaxy.

If our Sun is a dwarf then imagine the size of a Giant star! A typical one is about the size of the Earth's orbit around the Sun. Now picture a star even larger! so large that "Giant" is not enough to describe it. The scientists had to come up with a name like "SuperGiant."

A star that fits this description is Betelgeuse (More...)

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Betelgeuse is the tenth brightest star in the sky. It sits at the base of Orion’s right arm.

Orange Betelgeuse is cooler than our Sun, but its diameter is 700 times that of our Sun.

This "superGiant" can outshine the sun by over a million times. These are very massive stars seen just before they supernova.

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So in comparison, imagine the size of a creator that can conceive Betelgeuse as only one in a million NO billions of stars.

That little white spec on the lower left side, under Antares, is our sun. WOW I feel so small!

That is nothing! Check out the next step and the greatness of our Creator.

Yes Betelgeuse is thousands of times larger then our sun. So large that our Sun is barely a spec next to Betelgeuse, but imagine even bigger stars!

How about a star so large that 'Super' is not enough to describe it. It is classified as a 'HyperGiant.'

Imagine a star that is 2100 times larger then our Sun. VY Canis Majoris (More...) is such a star.

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VY Canis Majoris is called a HyperGiant because of its very high luminosity.

"A typical red supergiant phase lasts about 500,000 years. A massive star becomes a red supergiant near the end of its life, when it exhausts the hydrogen fuel at its core. As the core contracts under gravity, the outer layers expand, the star gets 100 times larger, and it begins to lose mass at a higher rate.

VY Canis Majoris is the largest known star and also one of the most luminous known. It is located about 5,000 light-years from Earth in a constellation called Canis Major. VY Canis Majoris is only one of the HyperGiants that makes up this constellation known as one of the dogs following Orion the hunter.

VY Canis Majoris has probably already shed about half of its mass, and it will eventually explode as a supernova." - hubblesite.com

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This really leaves me in awe!

Our sun is but a pixel next to this giant. Can you imagine the vastness of the universe where this HyperGiant exists only as one piece of a giant constellation!?

Now imagine a creator that can conceive of all of this.

He is so grand that we as humans cannot even fathom this greatness. He is all, sees all and is omnipresent, even with us.

So grand that anything we conceive as a 'BIG' concern, issue or problem is minuscule compared to the greatness of God. By this I mean that anything and everything is do-able for God! Nothing is a 'big problem' for him and the vastness of His compassion can help us with our BIGGEST problem.

Think of this the next time that you are dealing with the 'problems' of life:

"Don't tell God how big your problems are...tell your problems how big God is."

Give them all to God and surrender to His greatness. I ask you to accept His generosity, compassion and His LOVE. His love is bigger then anything we can ever imagine!

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Here is the whole thing for a complete perspective.

Lessons Learned from Randy

Tribute to Randy Pausch on Google

I, like millions of people have watched Randy Pausch's Last Lecture on YouTube. This lecture is extremely powerful, empowering and has been impactful in my life. I developed a great appreciation for Randy's wisdom and the lessons this Carnegie Mellon professor had for us. This talk is meant to teach life's lessons as his legacy in life.

Now that Randy has past away, how can his legacy live on in me? I am a firm believer in that everything that is put before me, there's a lesson to be learned. So what are my, as Randy puts it, "Lessons learned..." What lessons can I get out of Randy's life experiences, and his passing, to "achieve my dreams and enable the dreams of other."

I thought about that a little bit more and went back to listen to the lecture. This is what I came up with - my list of 10 things I've learned from Randy's lecture (in no particular order):

1. The Brick Walls are there for a Reason: Walls are there to separate those who do not want it bad enough from those with the dedication and commitment to live their lives to the fullest. It is there to allow us to climb over them and get to the other side even when we do not know what is on the other side. Reaching for what you want requires work - so work hard. Scale those walls and show that you have the desire.

Everyday life has a way of putting hurdles in our path. Some may seem insurmountable, but it is in my passion for life that I can overcome them. It is in me to excel and jump over those hurdles.

2. Disney Imagineering - The Nicest "Go to Hell Letters": Anybody can get chewed out and rejected. It is in how you receive & accept the feedback (even just seeing it as feedback). Learning from the rejections & the failures is one of the biggest lessons in life. At the end of the lecture Randy says it is the rare person that can "cherish it and use it" to grow as a person.

3. Wait Long Enough & People Will Surprise & Impress You : Perseverance is the key. Give people the time & the space they need to find their own greatness. Guide them along their paths so they can get themselves to where they want to be. As Randy says, "Find the best in everybody; no matter how long you have to wait for them to show it."

Give up whatever impression you may have of them. Don't make them wrong and allow them to be themselves. You may be surprised!

4. Good Way & Bad Way of Saying 'NO' : It is in the attitude & in the words I use that I can influence/ get people to do what I want from them. It is a way of being that I can create for myself. I can have something worth saying but saying it to empower others (not to disempower them) is where the powers lies.

At the end of the lecture he shares something Andy Van Dam told him. "It's such a shame that people perceive you as so arrogant, because it's going to limit what you are going to be able to accomplish in life." Randy continues with "What a hell of a good way to word - you're being a jerk!" It was in the positive nature of the wording that this became a constructive conversation.

5. The Next Star Wars Film :When Tommy shared his dreams, Randy said "You know they are probably not going to make those next movies..." and Tommy said "No they are!" This shows me that no matter what people say or think, just live your dreams. Don't let people dissuade you from living & achieving them.

6. You Obviously Don't Know Where the Bar Should Be - You're Only Going To Do Them a Disservice by Putting it Anywhere : Dream Big!! Randy was amazed that his students did not stop and "just kept going!!" Do not sell people short by my own limits and perceptions. Encourage people to give their best & they will surely do so. See people bigger then they see themselves and they will live into who you make them out to be. Create an energy where greatness comes from believing one is great!

7. My Favorite Moment in 10 Years is a Brilliant Ad Lib : "He pulls out his ninja sword and says - 'I am dishonored!' and just drops." What I got from this moment is that the best part of life are the moments that are unplanned and are true and honest from the heart.

This is where we get to live our life to the fullest and where I can create a great bond with people. Being authentic, honest & real with myself will allow me to be just that with others.

8. The Yin and the Yang : The left and right side of the brain are essential for the success out of anything I do. The Geek and the Artist in me / the Good & the Bad are both necessary for being complete. One cannot live without sharing with the other.

9. Paint My Bedroom : Let your kids paint their bedroom. Allow them to flourish & encourage them to be self-expressed. His parents may have been reluctant, but they saw the spark in his eye and encouraged him to express his creativity. They allowed him to express himself - even if it was unconventional art.

As an architect, I know the value the environment can cause to spark the creative flame in people. And I also know the value I can create in my son by giving him the space to express his artistic flare.

10. Are You a Tigger or an Eeyore? : Are you going to live your life having FUN or not? You get to choose. Like Randy says, it is not only a choice but its a requirement. "I'm dying and I'm having fun. And I'm going to keep having fun every day I have left. Because there's no other way to play it." There really is no other option. We will all die and at the end of our lives, do we want to be remembered, like Randy, "as a person who had fun" or as a person who never allowed himself to enjoy his life. You choose!

OK, so getting ten powerful tenets from Randy's lecture is incredible and an amazing contribution, on Randy's part! And then I get to the end of his lecture and he throws out "How to get people to help you?" This hit home because it has been a big one in my life. Inspiring & enrolling others to follow me has been challenging. So what is the "lesson learned?"

You Can't Get There Alone : Acknowledge the people in your life. Tell the truth to others & to yourself. Show gratitude & appreciation. Have an intention or purpose in your life to live for and share that with others. Live for others and they will give you your dreams.

Inspire in them their dreams & they will be inspired by your dreams.

Lastly Randy reveals the great "head fake," the lesson we did not know we were meant to learn -

It is not about how to achieve your dreams, but how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the Karma will take care of itself.

"The dreams will come to you."

So at the end of Randy's lecture, I realize that in our daily life, we get caught up in the circumstances, the daily challenges and the hurdles we have to jump. Constantly bumping into the proverbial "brick wall" of life and constantly staying stuck inside my head. It is about getting outside of your 'self' & contributing to others. Being with others and giving of yourself to others. This is where life fulfills your dreams.

I have only one choice! I cannot stay wallowing in my junk. I must allow myself to experience life and to have fun while living it. There really is no other way to play it!

Thank you Randy for who you were. Your legacy lives on!

Today is our 20th Anniversary!

This video is titled - Habibi Ya Nour El Ain. Loosely translated it means My Love - You are the light of my eyes.

I dedicate this video to my wife. 20 years ago today, I made her a promise of love, trust & understanding. I still hold dear that promise. See for the last few weeks I've been upset that we are not communication, but I forgot something. I forgot that when two people love each other deeply the communication is also deeper then just verbal, physical or even emotional. It's spiritual...



What do I mean, well let me tell you what happened today. This morning my wife left by 6:30 & I did not get to see her. When I got up, I got my cup of coffee & right next to the coffee machine was a card, a small gift wrapped in paper & a tall box. All sitting on the counter waiting for me. I opened the card & read the words. I opened the small gift & it was a spiritual CD. So I hate to admit it but the CD of hymns stopped me & I said to myself "I don't have time for this, I'll open the tall box later." So I rushed out the door with my cup of coffee and went to work.

As the day progressed, my son & I went to get her a card and some flowers. As I'm looking thru the card aisle nothing seemed interesting & as I was ready to leave, a card at the bottom shelf caught my eye. I turn around & go check it out. The front was a black & white card with vines on it. I open up the card & before I could read it the music started playing. It was a very slow tempo song, sort of beep-bop song from the fifties. I immediately closed it without reading it because I did not like the song, put it back on the shelf & I said to myself "I don't have time for this!"

I walked away, but something called me back! I opened the card again, ignoring the music & start to read the words. it said

"When I married you, I made you a promise to love you..."

WOW that's exactly what I did & all of a sudden that promise was brand new for me again! So of course I got the card.

But the surprising part came when I got home. I gave my wife the card & flowers. As she is reading the card, she gasps! I ask her "what's the matter?" She says "Open the box & read the name of the sculpture that is inscribed on the bottom." As I grab the statue - a couple in a loving embrace - turn it upside down, inscribed on the bottom are the words...

"The Promise"

Wow! I can believe it. this is us in that loving embrace! We are both in a spiritual embrace and I didn't even take the time to recognize it. We have both chosen "the Promise" in the gifts that we were giving to each other. Reaffirming that we are in sync with one another - even when the physical world only gives us challanges. I just have to trust that there is a greater force and we are one with it.

You Can Count On Me

Today I am feeling a little sad & melancholic. In a couple of days it will be my wife's & my 20th year anniversary and we are not getting along too well. I've tried creating communication with her but it never goes how I want it to. I do things that I think will make her happy & it does not turn out that way.

To give you an example. Yesterday I decided to clean the house. My wife is working alot with her new business. She is even working on Saturdays till 5pm & has not had time to do the usual chores. It started simply enough. As I'm cleaning, my son tells me he wants to get a goldfish. I needed to prime the pump, clean the tank & get the water conditioned for the fish, but the sink was full of dirty dishes. So I think - get my son involved in the chores "I'll clean out the dishes and you help me by putting them in the dishwasher." I thought innocent enough - no big deal, but that is what it became - A Big Deal! In that moment my wife walks in the door, sees us doing the dishes, the vacuum hose sprawled out on the floor & the furniture moved around. She walks in & does not say a word. She picks up the vacuum I had left on the floor & starts vacuuming. Good so far right? She's getting into it!

- wrong - a storm's a brewing and I didn't even see the clouds roll in!

Within minutes the thunder clapped with "I walk in the door & you guys don't even kiss me hello! - never mind!" Then more cleaning - this time furiously - Oh Boy! something is going on! Even my son noticed. He finished the dishes and before I knew it he was gone to his room. Now the storm is in full force! Thunder and lighting - then a sharp lighting cracked "You don't have to smack me in the face like that!!" Whaaaat is going on?! Where did this come from & why is she feeling attacked just because I am cleaning the house?

So anyway I said to myself "I am not getting into a fight" & told her "My only intention is to clean the house." I must have missed something or not seen something, but boy was she mad. Avoiding a fight, I left the room. I went upstairs to clean the bedrooms. Without intending, this really pissed her off even more, because 1 hour later I came downstairs & she just continues with : "Don't start now thinking that you're so wonderful at cleaning." Holy sh&t! I can't be with this! Since when is cleaning the house a way of putting her down. I honestly did not intend nor think that she would respond like that!

Honestly, I did not have any ulterior motive in cleaning the house, except to clean it. Yes, normally this is not one of my chores, but I just could not take the dust anymore. I was physically getting sick (I have sinus problems & dust kills me!) The only thing that is present for me is that I did have an expectation that she would be happy. The thing that really saddens me is - when did I become the enemy?

In moments like this, I don't know what to say or do - so I withdraw. All I can do is be sad with where the argument went OR I can empower myself and just express what I really feel - if only here.

So this song does that for me. It says what I originally wanted to say & feel.

Precious love
I'll give to you
Blue as the sky and deep in the
Eyes of a love so true
Beautiful face
You make me feel
Light on the stairs
And lost in the air of a love so real

You can count on me
Count on my love
Count on me
Count on my love to see you through

Emerald eyes and China perfume
Caught on the wheel and lost in
The feel of a love so soon
Ruby lips
You make my song
Into the night and saved by the light
Of a love so strong

And you can count on me
Count on my love, baby
Count on me
Count on my love to see you through

Oooh, you can count on me, girl
You can count on my love

Precious love
I'll give it to you
Blue as the sky and deep in the
Eyes of a love so true
Beautiful face
You make me feel
Light on the stairs
And lost in the air of a love so real

And you can count on me
Count on my love
Count on me
Count on my love to see you through
- Jefferson Starship : Count On Me

Pure Love Comes Home

Last night my 10yr old son came home from a 3 week vacation in Ecuador, South America. My wife & I were so excited to be at the airport and pick him up. See he's flying back with 2 of my sister, & 6 more nieces & nephews. I was anxiously waiting in the terminal with my wife, my brother, sister, sister-in-law, brother-in-law... We were a whole troop! Everyone is in conversation passing the time, but in my head I was only focused on seeing my son.

After a while of waiting & seeing many passengers arriving, we started getting anxious & saying, "they're next out thru those doors. No - this time really - They're the next ones." Another 30 minutes later I see 2 female figures with a bunch of kids coming in the distance. It had to be them. Who else is crazy enough to travel with 5 boys & 2 girls at 1 am. I see all the kids jumping around & having fun. Sure enough my son is one of those kids jumping around and carefree just goofing off.

But as soon as he saw me with my arms stretched out wide open welcoming him home, he started crying. Immediately starts running towards me and jumps in the air into my open arms - matrix-like in slow motion - almost knocking me over! I've never seen him run that fast! Sobbingly he says "Dad I've missed you!" In that moment, nobody else existed around us. We hugged for what felt like an eternity & he squeezed me with so much love and sentiment. Wow! there is nothing more powerful then a pure expression of love like this one.

I have missed him & he has missed me just as much. When I asked him why he was crying, he replied "No dad, those are tears of joy! I really didn't realize how much I've missed you."

In that instant, I realized that nothing else matters. Nothing!

No matter what the struggles of life; no matter what my family thinks of me & how we're raising our son; No matter the tribulations of life; no matter the criticism, all that matters is that my son loves me! He loves his dad with all his heart & I love him!

Not that my wife & I were failing him, but life; the negative opinions and criticism of others; and even worse of all - my little voice in my head! All have a way of making me forget who I am for my family. All have a way of allowing me to disempower myself. I just got validation that I am a good dad. No matter what anybody says or thinks - I am - and I can again trust that what my heart says to me is genuine compared to what my mind tells me.

I will from this day forward trust my heart and know that I am doing what's right for my family.

Manchester Craftsman Guild High School

You must be prepared to act on your dreams...
just in case they do come true."
- Bill Strickland

"Its all in the way you think about people that often determines their behaviour."

This is truly an inspiring video! I have to change the way I see people in order for their behaviour to change. It is all in who I am being that defines who people are for me.

Thought of the Day - May 22, 2008

Today, like every other day,
We wake up empty and frightened.
Don't open the door to the study
And start reading.
Take down the dulcimer.
Let the beauty we love
Be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways
To kneel and kiss the ground.
- Rumi 13th Century Sufi Poet

What I am getting from this poem is to live what I love and pursue my authentic path. Don't die, as Wayne Dyer says... "with your music still in you." Express yourself authentically not only in what you do, but in what you say and in who you ARE. Let your essence shine thru and BE who you were meant to be.

I get that this is easier said then done. Circumstances, negative people & the daily grind of life keeps me in the "study" away from life, in my head. But allowing my authentic self to be expressed provides more joy in life for me then staying in my head. Every day - damn - every moment I have this choice.

And I get to choose what that moment will be like.

Thought of the Day - May 16, 2008

"Don't be afraid of the space between your
dreams and reality. If you can dream it,
you can make it so."
- Belva Davis

Today I got a belated birthday surprise. My niece sings in a chorus & she calls with an odd greeting, no hi no small talk, just "you have a few minutes?" When I said yes, I hear her start singing happy birthday to me. Then all of a sudden her whole chorus starts singing.

WOW I was left speechless!!!

I have never had a whole chorus sing to me! I had tears of joy running down my face. I felt honored & humbled. She is livng her dream. There is no gap between her reality & her dreams.

I admire that!!

Thought of the Day - May 15, 2008

Today is my birthday! I'm a little sad because I have 4 siblings, 9 nieces/ nephews, 3 brothers-in-law, a sister-in-law & a couple of close friends. A few of my friends wished me a happy birthday, but the reason I was sad was because, of my family, only 1 sister called to wish me a happy birthday. Even my best friend did not call.

So today I chose to not get stuck in the disempowerment of what I make that mean, but i choose to read inspiring thoughts. Inspiring myself and hopefully pass on some of that inspiration that I got from this quote. It inspires me to live an inspiring life no matter what the circumstances of life are like.

"If we all did the things we are capable of
doing, we would literally astound ourselves."
- Thomas Edison

Astonish yourself & those around you.

Negative Thoughts Are Running Me

Today I sat down to watch some TV. Its been a while since I've watch live TV. Usually it's the Tivo with my favorite show.

Boy! Show after show is negative gossip; he-said-she-said talk show; bickering reality show!; Even Nancy Grace was gossiping about Rob Lowe's sexual harassment allegations. We have become a society who feeds off the negativity.

Channel surfing was not an activity I was enjoying today. It was no longer an exploration of what is possible but a running away from something pessimistic.

Wow! I found myself getting anxious and worked up. Negativity started running me! I even started reacting negatively with my wife. I never realized how much negativity generates even more negativity. The energy started to change inside me.

So what do I do?

I empower myself - that's what there is to do! Clear myself of that stuff and chose to be empowering and at ease with my circumstances. I of course put on my favorite show Star Trek - Voyager - to get away from that reality. In this episode, called Body and Soul, Seven is forced to incorporate the Doctor's matrix into her own body to hide the hologram from their captors so that they will not destroy him. The captors consider them terrorists and are negative, suspicious and doubtful of the Voyager crew.

Anyway the Doctor is fascinated by the new found 'zest' for life that he is experiencing in Seven's body. He is fascinated by what seven/humans take for granted - taste, smell, touch and emotions. He is even fascinated by the taste of prison rations.

The captors are fascinated by these unusual strangers and become friendly with the Seven/Doctor mix. The negativity and distrust they felt for the Voyager crew just faded away by Seven's way of being. They even start to work side-by-side.

Anyway, the point is that all the characters are in their own way subjugated, self-absorbed and find themselves isolated. To the point - they are lonely (sound familiar). By experiencing one another they are each pulling the other out of the negativity that the circumstances gives them.

It is in the indulgence of our own humanity where "life is worth living."

"The whole world is full of experiences and sensations but you insist on denying yourself."
-The Doctor to Seven - Voyager

As a society we deny ourselves the good and choose to indulge in our own negativity. Negativity breeds negativity - and keeps us from living a happy life. So by extrapolation - positivity can breed positivity.

The program ends with a toast to a new friendship:

"To shared experiences."

How about choosing that over the negative that our circumstances gives us. Free yourself and live life like it was meant to be - Happy!

Thought of the Day - May 19, 2007

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did.

So throw off the bow lines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore! Dream!”

--Mark Twain

Thought of the Day - May 18, 2007

"A man paints with his brain
and not with his hands."

– Michelangelo
Italian Renaissance Sculptor and Painter

It is our imagination that allows us to paint, draw, sculpt, create! Allowing our 'self' to express itself is what we were meant to do & it is what gives us our greatness.

Allow your inner 'music' to be free and to shine.

Surrender to the greatness that you are!

Thought of the Day - May 17, 2007

We don't stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.

– George Bernard Shaw
Nobel Prize Winner

Thought of the Day - May 16, 2007

The discipline of writing something down
is the first step toward making it happen.

– Lee Iacocca,
Chrysler Automotive Executive

Thought of the Day - May 15, 2007

It's my birthday!!! It's my birthday!!

I'm 45 today & it's both scary & exciting! My body is changing, my knees now hurt and the text on the screen is now harder to read. Time to increase the default text size!

But you know what, I'm not going to be upset nor worried because the thought for today is:

"Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don’t mind, it doesn't matter."
- Mark Twain

I am going to make today a day of Freedom and Tranquility

Thought of the Day - May 14, 2007

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.
All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.

- Helen Keller
American Blind/Deaf Author