Visitaion : #15 Confirmed

Today my wife got a call that Julito passed away. This confirms the premonition I had on the 15th.

We went to visit the family & when we got there I got the confirmation of my visitation dream. The family was at peace & they were complete with the way Julito passed away. They were not crying over the loss, but were praising God for not letting him suffer and live in a long vegetated state.

Luis even shared with us that 10 years ago, Julito got ill and was ready to die. Luis' son was about to be born & Luis asked God to keep Julito around a little while longer so that he can be with his grandson. He thanked God for the additional time Julito had to spend with the family & the grandson.

They were now OK with him passing and the time had come for him to be with God. They were OK because in their eyes God had given them a sign at the hospital. A flock of pigeons started gathered outside his hospital room window the evening that he was taken to Hospice. Grays on one side, whites on another & a reddish one in the middle. Even the nurses commented on how odd that was. They've never seen the birds before today.

This was the case for a few days. But on the day Julito was to pass, the birds flew away an hour after his passing.

Visitation : #15 Another Active Dream Night

Another active dream night! Let me rephrase that... They are all active, but this night was really impactful and is visitation 15. So to go right into the dream:

I'm standing there waiting for my seminar to start. I am nervously rubbing my hands when somebody comes up to me. "Linda needs to see you right away" he says, pointing down the hall towards the end of the building where the gymnasium is located. "Right now?" I question. "Yes, In the gym. It's urgent!"

OK, so I head down the hallway, passed the double fire doors with the tiny wire-mesh glass that only gives you a glimpse of what's on the other side. I push the gray doors which seem to weight heavy to the touch. I have to push even harder just to get them to open. Once on the other side, I walk into the tiny vestibule of the gymnasium. There is nobody here so I look around to get a clue. The room is small with a low acoustical ceiling and with only two sets of doors. The choice is clear. To the right, a single narrow door leading into the coaches office, but straight ahead is a double set of doors that I assume will lead me into the gym.

I push them open and walk into a large, white, voluminous room. Everywhere there is equipment lining up the wall. Straight ahead there is a basketball hoop. To the right at the end of the room seems to be the only clear line of path. Except that its just an edge that seems to drop off. I walk over to the edge, looking for a ladder or stairs down, but none that I can find.

No way down but a slatted wall, that seems to be like a stacked set of red 'p-leather' bleachers. I am at the top of these bleachers & scaling them seems like the only way down. Down below I hear people, so it can't be that bad of a climb down.

I climb down & when I get there, I see a guy & two ladies. I know them! the figures don't look like them, but I know it's them. The guy is on the left side of this lower gym, somewhat in the distance, with his back towards me. I walk towards him and for every step I take he seems to get further away from me. I call his name to which he responds by turning his head. He looks at me in the eye & then looks away.

The older lady is on the far right corner, almost frozen with a bluish, gray parka. Definitely does not seem approachable. The younger girl is on the near right coming out of this darkened hallway. She is wearing a pale yellow knee length hooded parka. You know the kind - fur rim around the hood, wrists and hem. This one was dingy looking though. As if she has fallen in some rough, slushy puddle and splashed around in it for a while.

"Hi..." she looks up and makes eye contact for a nanosecond. Drops her sad, watery eyes and quickly dashes by me as if she did not know me. Everything seems strange - off you know...

I walk into the darkened hallway and to my surprise, there's Linda & Gladys. They have their backs to me & are talking to a man, seated on the bench. He is tall looking, with a dark blue rain coat and a clean shaven head. He looks up at me and I see a thick mustache. He looks like an agent from an insurance company or collection agency. Anyway, Linda notices him looking up and turns around. "Pablo,.... Um, this gentleman, ah... is looking for you!" Linda says startled but with a sad puppy dog look in her eyes. "What is going on?" I question. Linda steps back and almost bangs into the louvered doors. "He's asking about your Range Rover!"

"Mr Solis, can you tell me the vehicle's mileage the last time you drove it?" he questions with a serious look on his face. "What?... I guess its around 103,500... Why?" I question back, puzzled at such an odd question. "Could it be 103,597??" He asks.

"What the hell is this about?" I yell back, feeling extremely frustrated now, and not knowing why, slightly concerned. "Please step into the next room, Mr Solis... please?"

Now I am really concerned! "What is going on?" I insisted. "Please step into the next room..."

I walk into this bright, white hallway that opens up to a even whiter & brighter room with tiled walls and floor. To the right there is a empty steel table on the side. The room looks like a morgue and now with that chill running down my back, feels like one too. As I stepped into the room, there is a cold steel table with a lumpy, blue hospital sheet. I am shocked! there is a body under that sheet! it is a long, heavy looking person. The only part of the body I can see is the forehead and the bluish-gray hair on a large head. By the look of the hairline, I can tell that it's an older man.

I don't know who that can be, so I don't react in any kind of way to seeing a dead body under a sheet. It almost seems like I'm watching a TV horror show. I was very detached to what I was seeing until I step forward some more. There, in another table is a small body laying face down, not covered by a sheet and fully dressed in a black Tuxedo. I can see the patented leather shoes, the white socks and the velvet stripe down the leg of the pant. The lower torso is detached from the bottom of the jacket. Now that hit me hard! This is a little boy...

I keep scanning up the body in a slow-motion pace. The jacket is wet, and the hands are still red. I can see water droplets dripping out the tip of the hands. "Hey I recognize that hand!!" I screamed! "What the hell is going on...." The next thing I see is the head. It is severed just below the hair line. The head is full of beautiful black hair. Long, nicely combed back and gelled. The hair is parted in the middle just like.....

"No fucking way - it can't be!!" The head is turned slightly sideways & I saw that profile...

"AAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Nooooooo way!! God no this can't beeeeeeeee!!!" Not my son!!!

I scream and fall to the ground in the disbelief. "Noooo! This can't be... why didn't anybody warn me that this was the horror I am to witness..."

Things seems to fade away for what felt like hours. Finally when I became aware of where I am, I find that I am sitting up, with my head in my hands and my elbows on my knees. I am crying so much that the tears seem to have dried out. I look up and I see Linda and the bald-headed agent standing there. For a second I draw a blank, then the horror of the moment hits me. I jump to my feet and turn the severed head over. The eyes are both wide open and I see that he has blue eyes. "That's not my boy!! My son has brown eyes, so that is most definitely not him!!!!"

I run screaming of joy that it's not my boy. I run out of that building and run home to be with my son.

---

Now my interpretation of this dream:

First I woke myself up from the dream several times because I, obviously, did not like what I was seeing. I woke up crying my head off and feeling like my heart has been ripped out! I woke myself up to make sure this was not real. Real it did feel! The pain and anguish I felt still hits me hard.

But from past experience, I know I am dreaming and this is just a visitation. Lately the visitations have been gruesome ... So of course it looks like this. Now if you are a first time reader, this may sound cold & heartless, but if you've been reading my other posts you will see that this is like visitation 15, 16 or so. So it is no news to me that I would have this kind of dream.

I now know that It is telling me of an upcoming event that looks nothing like this. So I must take it for what it is not what it looks like or feels like.

I know that I need to analyze that dream in order to understand that message: The first thing that hits me is the repetition of the number three (3). 3 sets of doors (2/1); 3 areas - the gym, lower gym & then the morgue - (2/1). The three persons I knew in the lower gym (2 female/1 male)and then the three people in the darkened hallway (2 female/1 male). Waking into the morgue there are 3 steel tables. Again 2 occupied/1 not. Even the boy's body was in three parts.

Also the colors I saw were 3 (red, yellow & blue) - Even the gray things I saw were in 3 shades. So what does this pattern tell me?

In Numerology number 3: socially active, artistic, very positive and optimistic, playful, happy and fun-loving, inspirational, imaginative, motivating, enthusiastic and uplifting.

In Dream Interpretation the number 3 may symbolize completeness and fulfillment - for example, the resolving of conflict between two opposing psychic forces.

In Christianity: 3 is the number of the Holy Father, Son & Holy Spirit. It is completeness of who God is.

Next symbolism: It was very odd seeing, what at first I thought was my son. And then ultimately realizing that it wasn't him. This leads me to believe that it will be a family member, but not an immediate member, like my wife or son.

The gray hair is another big hint. It tells me its a male. The forehead and the gray hair, but not being able to see the face keeps it as a distant relative.

OK who do I know that is fun-loving, socially active, & uplifting distant relative. One that is currently ill?? Even making his way in life to be complete. The only person I know of is... Julito.

I pray : dear God, please keep his soul & allow him to leave this world complete. I pray that his family, left behind, is also complete and at peace with his parting. May his journey be one of peace & that he rejoice in your love.

Hiding Out

"There, by sharing something, I realized that I'm not alone, that there is a lot of people that share with me the same preoccupations, the same ideas, the same ideals, and the same quest for a meaning for this life."
-- Paulo Coelho

It's been a few months since I've written any posts here. Let me rephrase that - I have written them, they're there, but they sit there unpublished - just waiting for me to push the 'publish' button. So now I have lots of 'draft' posts just sitting - in bold red - there waiting to be posted.

Waiting for what, I don't know...

"You are selfish!" is what my friend Beatrice yelled at me when I shared with her what I have been doing. "Share yourself, anyway! Don't hide behind the Vail..." is what she said as she nudged my shoulder.

So here I am sharing myself. The posts have mostly been about SM, and another visitation that culminated this week, when my aunt Olga passed away. The 'Vail' I was hiding behind is that they hit too close to home. I was afraid of sharing - didn't even share it with my wife.

But isn't that why I started this blog - to share my experiences - no matter what my 'little voice' has to say about it.

So for the next day or two I will be 'publishing' my posts with their original dates. Sorry if the feed is out of order.

Be Still & All Will Be Revealed

Be still, and know that I am God!...”
-- Psalm 46:10

It is in the stillness that all is revealed.

Wow, last night was another crazy dream night. The theme from the previous night is the same (women surrendering themselves to their demise) but this time it was more graphic and in black and white.

In this dream, three women approach three stalls and surrender themselves to the execution. each one pulls up the skirt just above the knee and kneels down. On her knees, she crawls into the stall (scraping her knees) to be beheaded. Two of them are way inside the stall and I am spared seeing the beheading. But the third is half-way out and I get a full view of the brutality of a failed beheading.

Now I gotta warn you, this section is where it gets quite graphic! so I have hidden this paragraph. click to expand & read this...

This woman is kneeling and asking for the executioner to get started. He weals not an ax, but a pick, and smacks it into the crown of her head. This does not do the deed and he goes to pull it out. She demands that he does not take it out. He is yanking at it and her head is being pulled with every yank. This looks and feels, to me, so extremely painful, but she complains not. He could actually release the agony, but she refuses.

Next, another executioner comes and she demands of him to complete the execution, while the first guy is still doing his yanking. He weals a very heavy sword at her neck and again it fails. The sword is carving away at the skin on the back of her neck, peeling back the skin and exposing the bone. Ultimately, she dies from the wounds and she could have gone without the added suffering.

I came back and added the graphic content because I feel that it is relevant to what occurred this week. It is what was in my dream and it was there for a reason. Sorry if you do not agree with me adding it - but I did warn you!

---

After witnessing that level of brutality, I must call on God’s light to enter my heart and provide clarity. This is where “be still” fits in perfectly. In the mist of the graphic nature, there is a message. I am upset with myself for having these dreams. Yes, they are graphic! I sometimes even question the morbid sense of the dream. So this is where I need to draw on my inner strength and not go into the 'make wrong' aspect.

I can’t “be still” if I'm fretting about or questioning whether this is right or wrong - based on my earthly morals & convictions. I must trust and be humble so that I would be usable in His hand - after all, this isn’t for me but for His purpose.

I just simply need to “be still.” There is a message yet to be revealed.

All in Due Time...

Last night & the night before, I had some very strange dreams. These dreams were of women - mostly late middle-age women - all surrendering themselves in different ways. One was physically abused to her death & never challenged her abuse. Another stretched out her neck into the noose to be executed. Any way they all are giving in to their sentence. They were all taken away to their death sentence, but none resisted.

The other thing that was strange is that they were all asking for it - almost demanding to be killed. I don't mean asking for it - as if they were evil kind-of-way, but it seemed as if they could not bear the conditions of their lives and asked for & welcomed the end.

The other overwhelming feeling I get is that in releasing their soul from their physicality, they are doing an act of compassion. Compassion of what - for who - I do not know. I don't quite understand this feeling but it's almost as if their are sacrificing themselves for the betterment of others.

Like I say, I don't quite understand this one nor am I going to dwell in needing to understand it. I will know when the time comes.

They mostly followed orders and even gave up what they needed, for others to have. This occurred over several dreams, across several days, thru out many lives. I don't know what they are about or what they are supposed to mean.

But they had several things in common:

• All the women were late, middle-age - too young to die.


• All are surrendering & giving in to the inevitable.


• They never complained nor even cried out in pain.


• They all welcomed their end - an act of release.


• They gave themselves for others - a selfless act.

But the most impactful part was that they all felt, to me, to be accepting of the fact that they are here due to their own actions. What they did has caused them to be here going thru what they are going thru. They are paying the price for letting their past be the way it was.

The question I am asking myself now - is this a prelude to another visitation? It seems to have the hallmark signs of one, but who do I know that is sick and ready to go? Who is the person leaving and letting me know that their time has come?

So I thank God for the clarity in seeing the sign and for the gift this is. I even thank him for not giving me the foresight to know who the person is, because if I knew (& this turned out to be someone close to me) then I may be too swept up in emotions to see the message clearly.

Now on to the next step. Waiting to see what the message is. Not to rush it, because the next step is the reveal of who is going to pass.

All in due time...

What is the Message...

This morning I woke up from another vivid dream. I had been dreaming about SM & I was having a conversation with him as to why I saw him the way I did. In the dream SM never seemed to be interested in answering what I wanted to know, it was almost as if he would only explain what his purpose was. He explained that he wants his wife, TR, to know that everything is going to be OK. That his passing is as has to be & that there is nothing wrong.

See SM & TR were newlyweds and at the time of his passing they were only married 6-8 months. Of course loosing her newlywed husband is a tragic experience for TR & I asked SM "How am I going to tell her in the mist of this grief?"

SM replied "don't worry she will contact you when it's time!" This kind of gave me a sigh of relief - since I didn't have to find the right moment to tell her.

When I awoke from the dream I felt a great sense of peace & tranquility. See on the day of the accident I went down to see TR and I was there consoling her for a few hours. I knew I had to tell her how I saw SM, but did not dare. I was there for her & I had to consider what her needs were. She cried a lot and kept saying "what am I going to do without SM?"

Then during the funeral services I was holding back the urge to blurt out what I knew. I felt guilty, all that time, that I knew something & said nothing. The funeral service was gigantic - it was not the appropriate time to tell her this! Hundreds of people were there and hundreds more could not be. See SM was a powerful man & he contributed to so many people around the world. He was bigger then life & bigger then I even imagined.

Condolences poured in from all over the world. There even was a conference call for all the people that knew SM, and could be at funeral, to express who SM was for them. Interesting enough there more then 100 persons on the call. People from India, Japan, Australia and even New Zealand. That is how big his presence is in this world.

Now, with this vivid dream, I am at ease knowing that my gut feelings are confirmed - it was not the right time to tell her.

It's funny, most people (or at least the myths & tv movies) believe that 'ghosts' have unfinished business, that is why they hang around. But from my experiences, it is not them - but us - the living who keep them from crossing over. They are complete & it is time for them to go, but we have a hard time letting go. We call them back to this realm.

So anyway, the message that SM wanted TR to know, is that because of her, he can go complete. She fulfills and completes what was not there for him. It was her love for him that allowed him to be fulfilled.

Having been loved and being 'love' was important for him in order to complete.

The Soul's Purpose

I'm still thinking of SM & his passing. He passed February 8th to be exact. I was working in his group to create an event and in the process of creating the event I learned a lot from him. The event is going to start on the 26th and I wanted to back out, because SM would not be there. But you know what - it would not honor SM if I do back out. So therefore I am moving forward anyway. He would have told me to do that anyway.

There are many things that I will have as a memory of him - thanks SM for the generosity - but one thing that he always said, sticks with me the most...

"We as human beings are always given by the little voice that runs in our heads. Do you want to have an extraordinary life? Well then - thank that little voice for sharing and then get on with the task at hand - fulfilling on our soul's purpose!"

--SM

The task at hand IS fulfilling on our soul's purpose. We are driven to be bigger then we know ourselves to be. We are driven to wonder what else is out there.

The one thing that I allow to stop me is wondering if I can do it.

Well it's time to stop wondering and start living larger then I know myself to be. In the memory of SM, I am getting on with my soul's purpose. And I am taking on being bigger then I know myself to be on this event.

This I do to honor SM's stand and the space he leaves wide open.

Perception is Key

For the last few days I've been wondering why SM's visitation was so different. I've never experienced a spirit present itself like that. In the past they show up in my dreams - never in real life.

But in analyzing this visitation, what I saw that was different is only how I choose to pereceive it. See in the previous visits I've choosen to call then dreams or visions, never choosing to consider them to be my reality. I guess you could say that I was in denial that this is my gift. But SM's visitation was real!

I realized that this is not the first time that the spirit presents itself in a phusical way during waking moments. For example Valmi's Visit was a light energy (aura) in the corner of my room.

Im my mother-in-law's visit, the spirit was a physical breeze and the scent of her favorite flower, the violet, showing up in the middle of the day.

So SM's visit, what I experienced was a light energy.

I'm starting to accept that it will present itself in so many different unexpected ways. What there is to do - just accept it!

Shine On You Crazy Diamond

The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the 'all seeing eye' pierces through, and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind couldn't detect.
--Mark Twain

Today I got really bad news. SM, a friend & mentor passed away! He is a powerhouse & an inspiration for me and many other people with whom he had contact. I could not accept this news so I called a friend we had in common and I asked her... "Tell me it isn't so!"

She replied "I can't do that - it is so..."

This news hit me extremely hard & I broke down and cried. I don't know why it hit me so hard. Maybe because I just saw him last night. Or maybe because it confirmed what I knew last night. I knew he was leaving.

You've heard of the expression "The eyes are the windows of the soul.." Well last night, SM's soul was exiting out thru his windows! His soul would no longer be contained within the smallness of his human package and the light could not be contained. A bright light started emanating from his collar, his eyes and from the top of his head. I knew last night, in the middle of the event, that SM's soul was departing but i did not want to acknowledge it.

SM shined last night, both literally & figuratively. See he managed the production of the event and was in charge of anything that happened with the facility and equipment. Well both the facility and the equipment acted up and of course SM took care of it. The evening was his and he shined. And I had the great honor to see him shine.

First when the lights started to flicker, SM runs out the door to manage it. I was sitting in the front row & saw his light leaving for the first time. I tried connecting with his eyes but could not see them. The light was more like a dim glow & some glare on his glasses. The building lights flickered, then shut off and then a few minutes latter they came on. When SM walked back in, he looked normal so I thought nothing of it.

Then the lights decided to alternate - one row on & nothing else, then another section & nothing else. Again SM left the room & again I tried to connect with his eyes. The glare was much stronger and looked like it was spilling around the rim. When he came back in, he looked normal again.

The third event was the building's fire alarm going off. this time it was a strong and beautiful light. I could see the light emanating from his eyes and reflected off his glasses. It was so consistent that it blocked me from seeing his eyes. All I could see is a shine around his eyes, a reflected back image on the lens and a halo around his head. Wow!

Finally, at the end of the evening SM & his crew were called to the front to be acknowledged and in that moment, before he stood up, the halo pulled off towards the ceiling. The glow left him. He was now complete as he was being acknowledged. He was free to go and left completely fulfilled.

Within hours his body completed it's purpose and at 10:15pm, SM was no longer on this earth. That evening SM's life was completed in a fatal car accident. He went on to shine on out in the universe...

He was an amazing powerhouse & a beautiful soul shining and giving love to everyone he met. Shine on you crazy diamond...

Another Visitation

A common pattern is showing up in all my visitation experiences. I noticed that I allow the pains of other & their emotions to physically affect me.

For the last week I have been in great pain! It started with a terrible toothache. The pain then shoots right up the root up to the base of my eye socket. I can see it traveling inside my face. The pain shoots up into my eye & then the pain circles my left eye socket. Once it circles then it goes deep into the back of my eye and finally travels back to the front and remains as a mild headache.

This is bizarre - not only because of the imagery - but because I never get headaches. The pain continued for about a week & a half. The only thing that I can think of is of a bad toothache or even to my sinus problems. Any way I went to the doctor & they found nothing that could be the source of that kind of pain.

The week goes by and the pain still persists. I did not count on going to see a relative that is ill. My wife's aunt is ill and is admitted into Hospice. At her bedside I never asked what pains she has, but I notice her face is indented around the left eye. Once I saw her the pain minimized. My cheek was still tender, but the pain disappear! At that moment I put the two together - my pain was related to her. The next day she passed away!

At the funeral I noticed that her eye, the same one where I had the pain - is dark & sunken - as is mine.

After many experiences & visitations I do not believe coincidences to be a 'stroke of chance', but as:

“Coincidence is the word we use when we can't see the levers and pulleys.”
- Emma Bull

"When you live your life with an appreciation of coincidences and their meanings, you connect with the underlying field of infinite possibilities."
-Deepak Chopra

First Visitation - the One

I need to share with you what just happened to me.

I've shared memories from my past, that were previously hidden, but that have been popping up for me. One of them is from Carteret, NJ.

It's Friday night and I'm 12 years old. Dad is gathering us together for the sunset 'culto.' I am running away from him because he just turned off my favorite TV show. I am so mad and cursing at him and at God. Why does dad have to do this to start the Sabbath sunset service.

While I'm waiting, I demand of God that if this really was that important then why isn't he present instead of just a vague, vengeful concept. See I was making God wrong for the way religion was represented to me. I was making him wrong for the way that the SDA religion requires that we deprive ourselves of the 'worldly' pleasures.

At that moment the image of Jesus Christ presented himself as an aura and relayed the message of peace and love to me. My life changed! Ever since then I have received that same message from many persons as they are leaving this earth to be with God.

I always feared getting the message - because of our religious beliefs. The messages always scared me since I was being visited by people as they are leaving their human form and dying. I always took this encounter to mean that I was weird, freaky or ungodly. The SDA religion says that this not of god, so I was not a 'son of God' worthy of his love.

So tonite I became present that God had chosen me to give the message to - but most importantly - to relay that message to others.

So I need to share a breakthru with you. Tonite I created the possibility of "Being the One" accountable for delivering God's message of Love Peace and Fulfilment so the whole world can experience life as One!

I am no longer bound by the fear and vengeful God image that was present to me by my religion. I now know that God is Love. True unconditional Love. Agape love - a love that is overwhelming and over consuming. A Love that takes over and surrounds me completely.

God is love - and all there is, is Love.

Visitation #8???

Oh no!! another dream! This time it's my father! I dreamt that my brother & I got the news of his passing and we were hugging each other in sorrow. The dream was so deep and so personal that I woke up crying. I was crying because of the pain & sorrow, but maybe, as I have previously analyzed (visitation #7), this is the first sign of my visitations.

Now don't think that I take the visitations lightly or that I am blindly falling for it. For years I was a skeptic & took them to be dreams with the coincidence of life just happening. But over the years I have learned that there is no such thing as coincidences. So now I keep my analytical process, while accepting that there are things beyond our knowledge. I have to accept the visitations as they come.

Actually my analytical process is continually being refined. The two step process is now five steps. 1: The dream happens. 2: I am aware that it is a dream no matter how real it was - or should I say - I actually remember the whole dream in the morning. This step is important since the only time I remember my dreams is when I write them down. Otherwise they are gone by the time I brush my teeth. 3: The visitation occurs within a few days of the dream. 4: the visitation actually occurs visually or audibly. 5: It is clearly not a dream state. I am awaken by the voices & I see the image or hear the voices after waking up.

So now I apply my analytical process to this current occurrence. The dream of someone dying occurred & step two, I did not forget it in the morning. So I was dreading step no 3. Actually It occupied my mind for the next few day. I called my dad & told him I loved him. He was actually not feeling well. I prayed for him. I did not want to go to sleep for the next few days for the fear that step 3 would occur. I am happy to say that step 3 never occurred.

I have had many of these type of dreams in the past without actually getting a visitation. But this time it was my dad. It scared me! I need to develop an additional check point so that I do not jump into any conclusions.

Visitation #7

I had another visitation! On Sunday I woke up from a dream that someone had passed away. I could not tell who the dream was about, but the feeling was that they were dying. I recounted my dream to my wife & at that moment, I did not think much of it.

But - last night at 2:25am I awoke because I was heard a muffled voice behind me. I also heard some chatter over head - somebody talking to me. I could not make out what the voice was saying. I know I hear that voice, but I was desperately trying to hear what they wanted to say. By now I lost that voice. I got out of bed and walked around the house to see what could be causing it - nothing. I was still distrusting that it could be something other than the physical. As the title states, this is not the first time that I get a visitation. But it still surprises me. I still think that it could be something physical that is causing the noises. So I have to understand the patterns in my visitations. First, I get a dream of somebody dying. When this occurs I have to pay attention to the next dream. Second, a day or two later I get a visitation - it will be the message. So when I am awoken by somebody talking to me I should not take it lightly.

So to continue.. Sure enough - in the moring I woke up and my wife is on the phone & tells me that her best friend called with the news that Dave W. has passed away.

David Goodbye - go in peace.

Peaceful Resignation

(Visitation #6)

Death is only a horizon, and a horizon is only the limit of our sight. Open our eyes to see more clearly..."

-- William Penn

For the past 4-5 days I have been feeling very uneasy. A feeling of giving up & no longer trying - a sense of "peaceful resignation." Don't get me wrong, this is not me talking - at least not my usual self. I don't give up or give in easily. I was thinking of death but not in the way you may be thinking of it! My wife's uncle has been sick for a few days with stomach aches. He is 93 yrs old & I got the sense of peaceful resignation from him. All I could think off was avoiding the daily grind.

A sense of submission & withdrawal is overwhelming me. Work was the only thing that could occupy my mind with other things, but I did not want to be there. My stomach was very uneasy & even upset. I was constantly running to the bathroom today. It hurt not with typical stomach pains but from almost a sense of withdrawal. The feeling was all over me. Every thought & every sound. The music I listened to for the past 4 days has a melancholic tone. I was listening to the Kill Bill Vol. 1 soundtrack. Songs like The Lonely Shepherd (MP3) & Nancy Sinatra' Bang Bang (MP3). These songs have a mellow sound and bring back the past (but not my past). I even had a fascination with Arika Yamaoka's "Room of Angel" (MP3) - This song is from the Silent Hill 4 game & it has some dark undertones & black lyrics - "here's a lullaby to close your eyes - goodbye..." (No - the lyrics are not indicative of the person, just music that I was drawn to).

Even when I did not have the music on, this song occupied my mind.

The theme of resignation occupies my mind over & over again. Wednesday night we found out that my wife's uncle is diagnosed with cancer in the stomach & a blocked intestine and needs to be operated. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach & a sense of emptiness. A spiritual emptiness - like he was no longer there. Tonight we visited him again & I got a peaceful sense from him. He was in little pain & not awake, but I did feel his spirit. He was surrounded with the love of his family.

Tonight while sleeping I dreamt of him. Not his physical self but more his way of being. It was a nice feeling of peace, playfulness, serenity & love. That is who he is. We were two white puffy clouds floating in the sky. We were swirling together, playing and rejoicing life. The play felt like it had been going on for a lifetime, when all of a sudden his cloud pulled away from me and swished away forever.

-Bye-

Suddenly, at that very moment I woke up. It was 4am I awoke out of breath gasping for air. I felt like I was taking my last breath & there was no more air for me to breathe. I felt something leaving my soul & it took my breath with it. It took me a few minutes to get my breath back. My wife was helping me as I tried to explain to her my dream. "Why do you think that was him?" she asked me. I did not get a chance to answer.

It is now 4:30am and as I was trying to catch my breath, the phone rings! As my wife answer the phone, she turns around to look at me. "No way!" I think to myself. With that said. She tells me that it's her cousin. "The hospital called. He has just passed away." was all she said & all she needed to say - as I already knew. My wife gets ready & leaves for the hospital & I stay behind with our son, who is sleeping.

I could not fall back to sleep but am exhausted. This visitation really left me drained! It is now 6:30 am & I am listening to Arika Yamaoka's "Room of Angel" (MP3) song as I type this. I no longer feel pain; that sense of resignation nor a submissive feeling of loss. As my stomach frees itself of anxiety, I begin to feel peace, playfulness & love as it fills my very existence.

It is who he was! Rest in peace, Rojelio

A more recent Visitation

My father-in-law passed away in March. He lived with us before his passing. I was not expecting to get a visitation from him, but while sitting at my desk on the laptop he showed up. Out of the corner of my eye I see a shadow peeking around the corner. When I looked up the shadow moves away. He showed up on several other occasions - each time like a quick glimpse of light. Each time the feeling was of peace & tranquility.

Then I started to feel that he was worried - and I get a feeling for what concerns him. I whisper to him " don't worry - I will take care of your daughter & grandson."

Since then I have not seen his shadow peeking around the corner anymore.

More Visitors

After Valmi's Visit, I have had several more Visitation-type realities. I don't label them dreams because they are so real - so vivid that I swear that they are real. So vivid & surreal that I need to write them down even though they occurred a while back.

A few years ago, my sister-in-law's mother passed away. She also came by to say good bye. I was sleeping so therefore I think I need to label it a dream, but It was so vivid that to this day I swear that I was really awake.

Another occurrence was back in January, my mother-in-law-passed away. She was a wonderful caring person and a beautiful soul. This time it was midday - her presence was made clear to me when a quick gust passed in front of me. It had a scent of violets (Her name was Violeta). The strange part was that I was indoors in my house and there was no possible source for a gust to pass so quickly since all the doors were closed.

Valmi's Visit

Many years ago I experienced a visitation that is still with me to this day. I was sleeping in my bed, when I am awaken by a soft female voice calling my name. I sit up in bed and catch a glimpse of something at the right hand corner of my room. There in the corner, next to the dresser is Valmi - just standing there. She was not a solid mass but a glowing, transparent image. Almost like an angel.

She says "I'm here just to say goodbye to you." I ask her "where are you going" but she just ignores my question, smiles and tells me "take good care of your wife..."

The aura and glow around her starts flickering and then she fades away.

See Valmi for me was not only my brother-in-law's sister, but she is Love, Peace & Joy. She was a very strong, tall woman with a very sweet and soothing voice. She worked as a butcher with tough hands, but with a very soft & loving touch.

She lives in Mt. Vernon, NY in a house that is partially owned by her, my brother-in-law & another one of their sisters. My brother-in-law would always invite our family to the parties there and that house was always - for me - full of fun, joy & freedom when I was a kid.

Something was telling me to go & visit her, since "there is no time left" is what I kept hearing. So I took a Saturday off to go see her. I visited her in that same house (maybe 100 miles away from Philly - where I was living at that time) just the week before my visitation. This time the joy was missing. She was very ill - dying of cancer - and a sadness in her eyes.

I saw her without her usual strength, without her usual happy smile and without her hair. She was almost embarrassed of the loss of hair - she did not want me to see her like that. But I had a very strong need to see her to I asked her husband to let my wife & I in. What I saw was a body physically ready to go, but a soul that still wanted to spread her joy to her family. She still had that soft touch.

So when she showed up in my bedroom that night, I could not sleep anymore. Her presence really made me wonder why had I experienced her & why was I seeing her as an aura. Two days later, I get a call from my sister in Florida. She gives me the news that Valmi passed away - just so happens - the same night & about the same time that I experienced my visitation.

It all makes sense to me now. She was talking to me and at the time I did not know why she was telling me this. But she said the following:

"Please ask my brother to care for my kids. He is the one that will do what's right for them. And please keep an eye on my brothers and sisters so they will always know that I love them. Give them my love & joy."

I always think of Valmi. She was a great person. Full of life - full of love and joy for everyone. She was a wonderful soul & by sharing my story, I want to give you the gift of Joy & Love she asked me to share with you.

I miss you Valmi! Thank you for allowing me to see that there is more to life then what we think we know. And that the Love & Joy you were - is still present for all.

Thank you for that gift.